Sweet Girl
by DoeV
Summary: When a young woman is approached by some people from her past her she is unsure as to whether her life has turned upside down or back the right way.
1. Prologue

Sweet Girl- Prologue

 **Let's have a quick chat:** A small prologue just to introduce you guys to her situation and perhaps will give you an insight to her motivations and things. The first chapter is a lot longer than this, don't worry, and should be up soon. I wanted to get the finishing touches done.

Thanks for listening. Enjoy.

"Come on," I heard my mother hiss at me, "get up."

I opened my eyes and saw her figure in the doorway with the hallway light illuminating behind her. I was confused and scared.

"Mama?" I asked with a trembling voice.

"Who else would it be? Now get up."

She grabbed my arm painfully and pulled me out of the top bunk of the bed that I shared with my cousin Jackson. I hit my foot on the ladder and started to cry. She shook me violently and hissed at me to shut up otherwise I'll wake up Jackson but it was too late. I saw him sit up, blonde hair all messed up from sleep and rubbing his eyes.

"What's up V?" he asked but then must have seen me sat on the floor holding my bad foot and my mother dragging me across the carpet. He was up and out of bed faster than I could blink and grabbed my free hand and pulled me the other way.

"Let go of her!" he shouted, his teenage boy voice cracking in a way that would have been funny had I not been frightened for my life, "Dad! Dad!"

Mother tried to kick him away but he punched her back. I was still crying and fighting against her as hard as I could but there was only so much that I could do, I was weak and young. My uncle John barged into the room and a full blown argument ensued with Mother shouting at him. He grabbed her hand away from my arm so that she let go. I crawled over to Jackson and he hugged me a bit too tightly. I hid my face in my hands as the shouting escalated.

"-I don't care, John! She is my child and I will do what I want with her!"

"Fuck this," Uncle John sighed and left the room, later I realised that he was calling my dad.

Mother turned slowly to face Jackson and I. I peeked through my hands just in time to see her lunge at us. She grabbed me by the arm and then picked me up roughly with some words from Jackson that made her hit him in the face. I fought hard but it was nothing to her. I looked up and saw my uncle john speaking to my dad.

"Daddy!" I screamed, "Daddy help!"

He turned to look at me with a completely expressionless face. It was so cold that even as a child I understood what was going on. We were leaving and he didn't care. I saw Jackson run down the stairs but before I could say anything I had been thrown in the back of a car with a strict warning that something bad would happen if I misbehaved. I sat and cried in the back seat.

I was 10 years old when we moved into that shitty little apartment in London. She said it was for our own good, for our safety. That my uncle john and my dad would put us in danger if we stayed, she would say this through slurred words. I didn't know what was happening; all I knew was that she had taken me away from the people that I loved and made me feel safe.

I was 11 when she told me that we were moving again. Mother had a rich boyfriend and we were moving in with him. I hated him and he hated me. He would hurt me whether she was there or not. She didn't care. I was put in hospital for the first time in my life with 3 cracked ribs and a broken jaw.

"She tripped down the stairs," Michael said with a sympathetic voice, "poor lamb."

Cut to 2 hours earlier and I was shouting and screaming in his face, spitting at him and trying to hurt him like he hurt me. He threw me against the wall so hard that I felt something pop in my face before howling with pain. He laughed sadistically as he picked me up from the ground and flung me down the stone stairs of his London townhouse.

I was 12 when I dyed my hair and changed my name. I covered my white-blonde hair with a rich brown hair dye and took to wearing to much makeup for my age. I was shuffled off to a private boarding school in the south of England. it had been completely funded by Michael and Mother didn't care that her little girl was being shipped off.

"I have paid for your whole secondary education," Michael sneered, "you aren't coming back. you can stay there."

I hated it at first. I rebelled, shouted and screamed as hard as I could. I fought back from the strict school rules and isolated myself from everyone. However, when I had to go back to London over the summer and realised what I would be going back too if I got expelled I stopped fighting the system quite so hard. Rebelling was in my nature though and I caused enough trouble to make a scene and get some attention but not enough for expulsion.

I was 14 when I lost my virginity to an older boy. He was 17 and took advantage but I thought it was love. It wasn't romantic or loving, just something to make him feel good. I was just glad of the attention, the replacement of the love I felt I was lacking.

I was 25 when my life changed again.


	2. Chapter 1 - Boys and Breakfast

Chapter 1 – Boys and breakfast

The day started just like any other Monday: get dressed into uniform, brush teeth, do makeup and hair, leave for breakfast. In the mess hall I found my best Gal-Pal Anya. We met a long time ago 10 years to be exact, back in third year, back when we were both wild in as many ways as possible.

" _You'll never guess who I slept with_!" Anya exclaimed to me in Russian across the hall.

" _Bitch who_?" I exclaimed back as I neared our table.

"Jack."

"As in… tic tac Jack?"

I laughed when she nodded with a grin.

"Is it really…"

I put my fingers an inch apart with an eyebrow raised suggestively.

" _NO! More like-"_ and she reached over and pulled them apart by half an inch.

I howled with laughter drawing attention from the people nearest to us who had no idea what we had been talking about. I looked towards the other side of the hall where Tic-Tac Jack was sat with his friends pointing over to Anya and being all cocky (no pun intended) that he had slept with her. He had no idea that we were laughing at his micro-penis. I walked up to the breakfast buffet and grabbed myself some fruit salad. When I got back to the table I noticed that Anya was pouring me out a glass of apple juice. We sat discussing our master's degrees, final exams and essays; boys, girls, the general monotony of daily life at a private boarding school in southern England.

Mid-way through the breakfast the Announcer comes in and bangs his staff on the hardwood floor to get everybody's attention. I sighed and continued to eat.

"Emilia D'Arcy please rise." He boomed.

I shot a concerned look at Anya as the other students drummed on the table and made a low 'oooooo' noise.

" _What have you done now?"_ She hissed as I stood up.

" _Nothing,"_ I said with a small shake of my head, _"I promise."_

I was telling the truth. For once.

"Please turn," Mr. Andes boomed again with another bang of his stick. I sighed and turned around to see someone that I haven't seen in a long time, "your family has arrived. Please follow."

He was looking at my suspiciously; even though I had grown used to my new name and appearance over the years, the last time he had seen me I was a little blonde child. He still looked exactly the same, though he had filled out and looked less like a skinny teenager and more like a dangerous man.

"S'up cousin!" Cousin Jax called from behind Mr Andes after a look of realisation took over his expression. His arm was raised in an enthusiastic wave and some people laughed at his cheeriness. Another man, that I didn't recognise, stood beside him pulled his arm down and said something to him quietly.

They looked threatening stood in their dark clothes and leather vests; a stark contrast to the beige stone walls and deep red velvet decorations. They were both unkempt with messy hair and beards, scuffed up and tough looking boots contrasting with the shiny shoes of the students and teachers that were all looking at them in curiosity. Most of the people sat in this room have never seen anything that wasn't designer brand or dry cleaned but it was hauntingly familiar to me.

I felt my heart racing as the last time I had seen him came rushing back to my mind. I felt like I was back there in that house being dragged away from everything that felt familiar and safe.

" _Cousin_?!" Anya exclaimed in shock, " _You said you don't have any family. He's hot though. Can I meet him?"_

I shot her a frustrated look before picking up my bag and walking over to them on shaky legs. Eyes followed me silently.

" _I'll eat the rest of your breakfast just in case you don't come back! Give your cousin my number!"_

I couldn't help but smile as she shouted to me across the deathly silent room.

" _Thank you, my love, for your concern. Enjoy."_

"English in common areas, Ms D'Arcy. It's respectful." Mr Andes said when I got to him.

"Relax Andy," I shrugged, "we were talking about boys and breakfast, not planning a terrorist attack."

Jax and the other man laughed at my comment. As soon as the door closed a frenzy of conversation started in the hall. That will be fun to get to later. Mr Andes walked away with his cane clicking on the rug that ran along the hallway.

"It's good to see you again, V," Jax said, "how long has it been? 10 years?"

"15." I corrected as he pulled me into a tight hug and held me there for a while.

I was completely bewildered but I wrapped my arms around him too; hugging him just as hard and shutting my eyes tightly. I could feel the back patches of his Sons kutte. He got patched in, I thought, I always knew he would.

When I opened my eyes they flickered cautiously to the rugged man just behind my cousin and he smiled at me. I managed a small smile back but my mind was on Jax. The latter pulled away but kept his hands firmly on my upper arms.

"They make the older kids wear uniforms too?" he asked as he took in my hideous clothes, "and your hair…"

I patted my long ponytail suddenly self-conscious of it. I hadn't had a hair cut in a good 9 years so I probably looked ridiculous. I smoothed down my clothes as I looked at him still in shock. Since I was an older student doing my master's degree, in the university sector of the school, they let us wear what we liked as long as we wore the shirt with the campus crest on it, a blazer or cardigan in the school colours and the tie. I always chose to wear a tight fitting, black pencil skirt (without stockings) and some black court shoes.

"Is there somewhere we can talk?" he asked after my silence.

I nodded and lead him to a closed off hallway, the other guy following closely. I hitched my bag higher onto my shoulder uncomfortably. When we were far enough away from the main hallway I turned back to Jax.

The two men looked at each other silently then back at me with eerily good timing. There was a fleeting look of apprehension in my cousin's eyes before he spoke.

"I- You need to come with us V," he said, choosing his words carefully, "you need to come back to the family."

I laughed in disbelief, "What?"

"There are people looking for you." he said in a serious tone.

"Who?"

He didn't say anything, just stood before me looking shifty, a look he had mastered when he was younger.

My mind was racing again, thinking of all the people I had pissed off over the years; the relationships I had ruined; the teachers I had got fired; the family I didn't have any more and then eventually, my mother and her husband. But what had I done that warranted them to come all the way over from California? I was frowning at him in confusion.

I was shocked out of my thoughts when I heard the flick of a lighter. I looked at the other man that had lit a cigarette and he was looking at me. His gaze caused my face to redden; I felt nervous and small. I crossed my arms across my chest.

"I'm can't go anywhere." I said, slowly looking back to my cousin, "This term is nearly done; I've nearly finished my exams."

"Your life is in _danger_ V."

He ran his hands through his hair in frustration.

"Are you here for me or on Sons business?" I asked him seriously.

He was silent for a while and I scoffed.

"Both!" he exclaimed and grabbed my shoulders again, "I missed you, obviously, but I couldn't just turn up out of nowhere and see you."

"Why?" my voice had cracked embarrassingly.

"It's been a bit mental over there," the other man said; making me jump. Jax nodded in agreement while the other man looked amused at my reaction.

"For 15 years?"

"Believe it or not."

He was Scottish, I noted.

"Why? What has any if the Sons business got to do with me?" I asked them, "I don't have anything to do with it. We moved here to get away from the drugs, and the guns, and the danger. There is nothing and nobody here that can hurt me."

That's when I heard a voice that shook me to my core and brought out so many awful thoughts and emotions in me that I had kept to myself for years.

"We're trying to help you, Pumpkin."

I turned around, fury burning through my body. Clay Morrow. Last time I saw him he was stood talking to my uncle john and looking at me with a cold expression as I was being thrown into the back of a car while I screamed for his help. He must have forgotten about this though because he opened his arms with a wide smile. I walked towards him, my heels clicked on the hardwood floor, and before he could close his arms around me in a hug… I punched him square in the nose.

I heard the Scottish man make a sort of "oop" noise, cigarette still hanging from his lips, and grabbed my arm firmly before pulling me away.

"Don't fucking touch me," I hissed at him with a tug of my arm but he didn't let go.

"It's ok Chibs," Clay said with a small laugh and dabbed at his face to see if he was bleeding. Regrettably, he wasn't.

Chibs, which is a really weird name, I thought, let go of my arm slowly and took his place leaning against a wall and finishing his cigarette. I straightened my cardigan sleeve with a slight huff before training my eyes back on his face. He had gotten old; I thought smugly, his hair and beard were white. Instead of looking lean and muscular he had gotten fatter. I wanted to scream and shout and hit him until he bled but instead, I stood trembling with my arms crossed tight over me.

"Where's my hug Vivania?" Clay asked with something he probably thought was a genuine smile.

"Who the _fuck_ do you think you are?" I asked through clenched teeth.

He looked at me with something like regret in his shark like eyes. I know my mother had told him what was happening. I know that she had sent him photographs of me in the hospital when my stepdad had thrown me down the stairs. I know that Clay had never once cared about me, not even when we were in America and living just down the road.

" _You_ are trying to help me _now?!"_ I laughed incredulously, "better late than never, huh?"

"Look-"

"No, you look, Dad," I said sarcastically, "you don't have any right to be here. Jax I understand, he tried to help me; Chibs… seems nice? But you?" I scoffed, "you abandoned me. You knew what was happening over here and you didn't give a shit. Do you know what that tells me, Clay? This is a strictly business venture. Now that something is threatening to make you and your club look bad you want to come and help me. Not when I was lying in a hospital bed at 11 with cracked ribs and a broken jaw."

"Pumpkin-"

"Don't 'Pumpkin' me. I am going to get a first in my master's in modern and ancient languages, with minors in accounting and business management." I said in a superior tone that I couldn't help, "I'm going to _be_ something, Clay. I'm going to go all over the world; I'm going to be important to someone. If I come with you, it's not going to happen and I refuse to stagnate in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere California."

Clay looked shocked and angry at my outburst. I shook my head and stepped away.

"If someone is really coming after me then let them. I've been taking care of myself for years, I'm sure I'll be ok."

I turned back to face Jax and stepped close to him; hugging him tightly again. I told him with muffled words that it was good to see him; that I had missed him and to please keep in touch. When I pulled away from him I had tears in my eyes and running down my face. I nodded to Chibs who had lost his amused expression.

"It was nice seeing you, Jax; nice to meet you, Chibs. I've got a future. I'll risk my life for that."

And I walked away from the one person in my life that might have loved me unconditionally.

Little did I know quite how much of a risk it would be.

 **Fancy a quickie? –** the amount of times I wrote and rewrote this first chapter is embarrassing. I just couldn't get it to a way that I wanted it to be. I was conflicted about how she might handle the situation so hopefully I conveyed it in a way that didn't make her sound like a total bitch.

Also apologies for the lack of Chibs action in this one but there is more to come my dudes. Is anyone else getting a bit hot under the collar just imagining him leaning against a wall? No? Just me being thirsty? Lol

The second one will have more interactions between our protagonist and her future love interest so keep reading.

Lots of love,

From Doe xx


	3. Chapter 2 - I Didn't Feel Anything

Chapter 2 – I didn't feel anything

I had received a long email from my aunt Gemma about 3 days after I had seen Jax. She explained that she was sorry she couldn't be there for me or explain anything in too much detail (never know who's reading the emails, you know?). She had sent me pictures of herself and her grandson, Abel. Honestly, I was shocked that Jax even had a baby but she told me he was a good father and that his girlfriend, Tara was an amazing mum. That made me smile.

There was also a picture of all the sons on anarchy posing by all of their bikes. I recognised her immediately; she hadn't changed much I noticed. I saw Jax stood with a tall man with a beard and long hair that she tells me was actually Harry Winston, although they all called him Opie now. He also had children and a new wife. Clay was there with his arms around Gemma and Jax. I saw the Scottish man, Chibs, sat on his bike with his hands knitted on the handlebars. I recognised Harry's dad, Piney but that was about it. All of the others were unfamiliar to me but I'm sure I must have known some of them from when I was a child.

She sent her love to me and told me that she missed me; she was hoping to come and visit herself at some point since I wasn't going to them, which she scolded me for. I could almost feel the heat of her stare coming through the screen at me. Gemma said that she hoped I did well in my studies and stayed safe, 'make sure you keep a weapon with you at all times.' She had written.

I had saved the story into my email account. Gemma was one of the best things about my childhood; she was always so no nonsense but kind and loving. I was excited about the prospect of her coming to visit me in the school. I knew she would love the décor and how fancy everything was.

The rest of the week went by in a blur. I tried to act tough but inside I was scared. They didn't tell me who it was that was supposedly after me but I knew it must have been bad to get three of them across the ocean to tell me. I tried to concentrate on my lessons but it just wasn't happening. On the Friday, I started to feel dizzy and shaky in my accounting lecture. It felt as if the whole room was spinning. I couldn't focus on the screen of my laptop to sort out the numbers on the program.

I raised my hand in the middle of the lecturer's speech; squinting my eyes in the bright day light that was coming through the big windows at the end of the room. I had to hold on to the edge of my desk to stop myself from falling from my chair.

"Yes, Emilia?" she asked me, sounding concerned.

"I'm sorry Madam," I said shakily, "may I go to the nurse's office? I'm not feeling very well."

"Of course, I will email you the rest of the lesson. Make sure you get some rest."

I nodded and packed my bag before slowly walking down the steps of the lecture hall. As I made my way down the hallways to my dorm I cursed my stupid shoes but refused to walk down the floors barefoot; I'd rather not get foot fungus from the dirty carpets, thank you very much.

Unlocking my dormitory was a tricky task. After about 15 minutes of struggling I was able to open it and went in to find Anya sat on my bed.

"You didn't hear me trying to open the door?" I asked her in English, my brain was far to fucked to even attempt another language.

"I didn't know it was you," she shrugged and flipped the page on her magazine before looking up at me, "you look like shit."

I breathed out a laugh, "Thanks."

Anya stood up and took my bag out of my hand. She handed me my nightshirt and pushed me towards my ensuite bathroom. I wasn't shocked to see her sat in my room when I was out; she came to use my shower since it was attached to my bedroom while she had to use the common showers.

I struggled to unbutton my shirt and unzip my skirt to pull it off as quickly as I could. Yeah, I know it looked sexy but Jesus was it uncomfortable to wear. Once I was comfy I went back out and chased her off my bed, explaining to her that I wasn't well and needed to lie down.

"You need to tell me about those people though, Emilia."

"I will, I just need to lie down."

As soon as my head hit my pillow, I started to feel slightly better. I launched into my tragic back story and Anya never interrupted, she just listened to me in silence. I was worried she judged me but that wasn't the case. By the time I had finished my story I was tired. Anya had lay down beside me and was hugging me in the spooning position. She only asked why I hadn't told her sooner.

"I didn't want anyone to know I was related to them," I said, my voice thick with sleep.

I felt bad about that now, I thought, ever since reading and then rereading the email Aunt Gemma had sent me.

I had drifted off to sleep very slowly.

I woke up to suddenly. I jolted upright and saw in the dim evening light a black clad man in my room but that wasn't what I was looking at. Stood in front of him was my best friend with a hand over her mouth, to muffle her voice; and a knife to her throat. My eyes were wide and I let out a soft 'no'. She reached her hand out to me. She was trembling and so was I.

It wasn't until I moved to stand up that the man spoke in a low voice.

"Don't fucking move," he said angrily, "you move, she dies."

He had an American accent, it sounded southern. I froze in place as Jax's warning came back to me. There _were_ people after me and here they were. Gun shots and shouting echoed around the dorms halls and I gasped, flinching away from the noise. Anya did the same which made the man jump. I don't know what happened but he had dragged the knife quickly across my best friend's throat.

I watched it in slow motion; hot blood sprayed out of her neck and went all over me and my bedroom. I took in a breath and screamed louder than I ever thought possible. I lunged forwards to catch her as the man threw her on the bed. I tried desperately to stop the bleeding, to save her life with the edge of my t-shirt, my blanket… anything I could get my hands on but blood soaked through everything I put against her neck. It didn't happen like it did in the films. She was dying quickly with blood spilling out of her mouth as she tried to speak. She had no dying words, no deathbed confessions, just gurgling. She couldn't even move her hand to me, it just lay twitching by her side.

Her blonde hair was now red. My hands were covered in the thick red substance.

More gunshots rang out in my bedroom and I felt more stuff hit me, more blood and what I assumed was brain and it bits of bone, but I didn't care. My focus was only in her. There was more shouting and suddenly hands grabbing me, trying hard to grip onto my arms that were now slick. I fought them. I attacked them and the person that was trying to pull me away from her.

I will never forget the fear in her eyes as she looked up at me in her last seconds of living.

"We need to go, Jacky Boy!"

More gunshots.

"I'm trying!"

More hands pulled me away.

"I'm sorry," I sobbed to her as I got pulled out of the door, it was like she was watching me with dead eyes and an expression of fear frozen on her face.

Outside the halls were more bodies dressed in black with leather vests on; more blood scattered the walls and doors of my neighbours. I stopped fighting. For the first time in my life, I had no fight left in me and allowed myself to be picked up and carried away. Strong arms threw me over their shoulder. The last thing I saw before I blacked out was a couple of people dressed in the full school uniform lying dead on the carpet with their eyes closed and holes in the back of their heads. I couldn't take anymore. My brain shut off and I fainted.

 _Chibs hopped into the back of the black van that waited outside for them. He gently placed the girl down on the carpeted floor. Jax came in after him, shooting some more bullets through the open doors at the other men as the van sped away._

 _She was covered in blood and brain matter. He tried to clean some off of her face with a rag that was in the back but that quickly became soaked to._

" _That could have gone better," he said when Jax slammed the back doors shut._

 _They braced themselves against the side as the van sped around a corner. Jax removed his balaclava and shed the vest of his enemy. Chibs did the same, straightening out then ruffing his hair about. They put their SOA cuttes back on and sat back._

" _That was really upsetting," Jax stated as he looked over his passed out cousin/stepsister, "she's probably never seen that much blood in her life."_

" _We warned her," Clay sighed from where he sat in the back corner of the van, "we told her something like this would happen."_

" _Her friend died, Clay."_

 _There was silence after that. Each man was in their own thoughts._

I was in a dark room. There were people, men, talking. I opened my eyes to see a sliver of light above my head showing the night sky.

"Vivania?"

I looked to my left and in the dim light I saw Jax. I was safe, was my first thought; Anya died in my arms, was my next one. I raised my hands and saw that they were covered in streaks of dark swipes, blood although it looked like someone had tried to clean it up. My shirt was crusted with dried blood too. I felt like I should be crying but it was like I didn't feel anything. I sat up slowly.

"Careful, V," Jax said quietly and put his hand on my shoulder, "are you ok?"

Even in the dark of the room, a van I noticed, I could see the concern in his eyes. I shook my head stiffly. I crawled over to him and we sat like we did when I was little; with his arm over my shoulders and my head on his shoulder.

The sound of a lighter flicking and a flame came up from the other side of where I had been lying. Chibs, I recognised. In the brief flicker of light I saw that he was looking at me but when he saw me watching him, he cast his eyes down.

"You killed all of those people," I said, not to him necessarily but to Jax and Clay too, "you killed them all."

"The others killed the children," Chibs said solemnly, "we don't kill kids."

I nodded.

"Anya is dead."

Nobody said anything. I looked down at my hands again.

"I was going to be something," I repeated my words from the last time I saw them, I could hear the defeat in my voice but I didn't feel strong enough to try; "I was going to be important and go places. I was going to mean something to someone."

Again nobody said anything; Jax just sighed gently and wrapped his arm tighter around my shoulders, bringing the other one up to meet it. I let myself fall into him, like I did all those years ago.

"It was dark then too," I said to him and felt him nod, "do you remember?"

"Yeah. I remember."

"I shouted for you," I said shakily, directing it at Clay, "When I was taken away. You just stood there. You didn't do anything."

I let out a bitter laugh.

"I used to threaten him with you, you know. I used to say 'if you hurt me again then my dad and his friends are going to come and kill you.' he didn't believe me, obviously but I never stopped believing until I was put in hospital. Mum sent you the pictures and you never responded. That's when I knew you were never coming for me."

"Pumpkin-"

"Don't call me pumpkin."

I felt my mind drift away into another world where the last week hadn't happened.

I was woken up some time later. The van had stopped moving and it was light outside. "Come on lass," Chibs was saying in a patronising voice, like he was talking to a child, "it's chow time."

I opened my eyes and fixed them on him. He was squatting beside me and holding a hoodie in his free hand while the other one was on my thigh, shaking it gently to get me to wake up. His hand was warm and rough against my skin but it felt… comforting.

"Come on," he said again, "we're on the ferry. We're nearly home."

I didn't even know where home was for me anymore. I nodded and stood up. I didn't have to stoop to stand in the van but he was hunched over in an uncomfortable looking position. Before I got out of the van he stopped me by holding my arm. I looked back at him.

"Put this on, some people aren't used to seeing half naked girls covered in blood. You might scare some folks."

He handed me the jumper he was holding. I realised for the first time I was still in my night shirt that covered everything I needed it too but I definitely wouldn't wear it out. I felt myself blush. I looked away as I put on the jumper. It was huge on me; more like a dress.

"You look ridiculous," he said with a smile.

"So do you." I said back, looking at him stooping over like an old man.

Suddenly, someone was knocking on the door and I jumped.

"Come on kids," I heard Clay say from outside, "we need food."

The doors opened to reveal Clay, Jax and another man I hadn't met before, but I recognised him from the photo that Aunt Gemma sent me. He must have been driving, I realised. I crossed my arms over myself; trying to shield myself from this strange man. Clay held out his hand to help me out of the van but I just hopped out, my bare feet hitting the polished wooden floors of the boat. Chibs jumped out behind me as I looked out to the ocean with the sea breeze flowing through my hair. The water was so blue, it was amazing.

"I'm Happy," the other man said with his hand outstretched.

"That's nice." I said with a raised eyebrow and shook his hand.

What did I care how he was feeling?

"No!" he laughed obviously realising my confusion, "my name is Happy Lowman."

"Oh okay. When we get to California will I meet the other dwarves and Snow White?"

He laughed and I laughed with him. He looked intimidating, just like the other men did, but when he smiled his entire demeanour changed.

Clay held out what looked like a credit card. I looked at it confused until he told me that I should probably go and buy some proper clothes. I hesitantly took it. I was conflicted between not wanting to owe him anything and wanting to get out of my blood crusted pyjamas.

"Go with her, Jax," Clay said as he patted him on the shoulder, "Make sure she doesn't spend too much."

I raised my eyebrow at Jax and he smiled.

 **Its 3am and I'm crying –** I was going to leave this chapter when they were still travelling in the van but I couldn't leave it on such a sad note. I had to put a bit of fluffy, happy (ha! get it?) stuff in there for the sake of my own mental health if nothing else. I just want everyone to be happy, ok?

I cried so much writing this. I felt bad for killing off Anya so soon, just call me George R R Martin.

I'm hoping to make all the chapters about this length.

This story is consuming me and I hope you're all with me for the long haul.

Lots of love,

Doe xx


	4. Chapter 3 - I'm Going to Fucking Scream

Chapter 3 – I'm going to f***** scream.

The relief I had felt when I saw that there was a small block of showers on the ferry was only mildly orgasmic. I used Clay's credit card to buy a bottle of 2 in 1 shampoo so I could wash my hair. When I dragged myself under the water I started to feel human again. I washed out all the bits of brain and skull out of the rats nest that I called my hair. I tried not to look at the drain where it was all being collected. I used every last drop of the shampoo to clean myself and as soon as the water ran clear, instead of being a murky brown colour, I stepped out to use the useless hair dryer.

"I thought you had washed down the drain," Jax said when I came out to meet him on the deck of the boat.

I laughed lightly as I threw away the t-shirt and bits of my friends' killer in a bin.

I was feeling slightly better by now. I tried to push the last 24 hours out of my memory but as hard as I did, I couldn't get her face out of my brain. Before I had found the showers, Jax and I had gone to the small clothing store looking for something for me to wear. I went for all black to blend in with my travelling companions, I had told him but I wore a lot of black anyway. He had convinced me to get a leather jacket too, an item that I had never owned in my life.

"No way," I argued with a laugh, "I'll look like such a try hard."

"Just buy the damn thing; you'll look badass. The rest of the girls wear them anyway. You're gonna fit right in."

I purposefully chose clothes that I never would have worn in England. I'm not going to be a business bitch in California, why try to dress like one? I'll have to admit, wearing flat shoes felt nice; I knew I could probably walk for hours in these boots. I was just in a plain black cropped tank top and high-waisted jeans. I was more comfortable in these clothes than in the pencil skirts and high heels but I don't think I looked as good.

"Best get back to Clay, he's tried ringing me about a million times."

Jax showed me his phone and saw that there were 3 missed calls.

When we approached the other men, Chibs let out a low whistle and pushed his sunglasses up onto his head. I twirled around and posed dramatically. Clay held out his hand for the credit card.

I shook my head and took the card out of my pocket to put in his hands but then snatched it away. It was childish, admittedly, but did I regret it? Not at all.

"Come on gents," I said, "Does anyone fancy lunch?"

"Vivania," Clay warned in a low, warning voice.

"Are you seriously trying to parent me right now?"

He was getting angry but I was beginning to think that perhaps stealing his credit card wasn't the best idea but the humour in my cousins eyes told me to carry on.

"I'm not a child," I said, even though I knew full well I was acting like a spoilt teenager, "I bet they're hungry. I know I am."

"It's the least you could do Clay," Jax laughed, "you kind of owe her. Besides, my stomach has been growling all morning."

Clay sighed then walked towards me with a mildly defeated expression.

The cheerful and good humoured atmosphere didn't last long though. Mid way through our lunch, paid for by Clay before he snatched the credit card back, a news report came on.

"Police are still looking for Emilia D'Arcy after yesterday's shooting at the St. Trents School; a private school on the southern English coast," a news reader states as a photograph of me at my college graduation is shown on the screen, "all that is known about the incident is that it involved the Warrens; a notorious and violent American street gang based in California USA. There has been no official ransom notice or photographs. None of Miss D'Arcy's family have come forward as of yet… The weather in the north-"

I shrunk down in my seat as some people turned to eye us suspiciously.

"I think we should get back to the van, Jacky Boy." Chibs said quietly.

Jax nodded and tapped my shoulder before we stood up. I took one last gulp of my tea and followed them out.

"Who are the Warrens?" I asked Jax once we got back to the vehicle.

"A family, rival club. We did them a dirty deal and they took it… personally."

"And I come into it how? How did they find out who I was?"

"They're a family. Your stepdad is called Michael Warren, right?"

Fuck, was my first thought, fucking shit, was my second.

"He's from England. It's a coincidence, surely?"

I started putting things together in my head. It was like some sort weird montage.

All of those men coming into the house when I was a child in their leather vests; the angry phone calls he would make and then throw the phone.

"He is the leader?" I asked Clay.

"No, a brother; sent to run the British charter; Christopher Warren is the pres. of the mother club."

I looked at him just baffled with the whole situation. How had it turned so crazy so fast? The other day I was working towards my degree, my friend was still alive and I was in no known danger.

"I just-" I shrugged in disbelief.

"I'll explain it all when we get home Vivania," Clay said carefully, "but right now we need to stay under the radar. No leaving this van unless you need to piss, got it? Chibs, you and Hap are going with Viv if she needs to leave."

"Babysitters? Really? Are you kidding? I can look after myself."

"Aye," Chibs said and showed me his forearms, "you're scrappy alright."

"Shit," I gasped and gently touched the scratches I had evidently made when they pulled me out of my dorm.

"Scrappy ain't gonna save your life though."

"I am so sorry."

I looked back up to him with wide eyes. I didn't even know I had done it, I didn't know who was pulling me out of that dorm. He had been so kind to me; I felt bad.

"Don't worry about it, I've had worse."

I looked over the scars on his cheeks and frowned. I guess they had been through a lot more than what I had seen. I wondered suddenly how many people they had killed, or had seen die. How much blood had they spilled in the name of the Sons of Anarchy? I shuddered at the thought. I realised I was still staring at him and looked away with a flush on my cheeks. I was sat in a van with, what are essentially, 4 mass murderers. I shrunk back in my seat and stayed mostly quiet for the rest of the journey.

After what felt like weeks, we were back on solid ground and driving through Charming. I couldn't help but smile when I saw the old sign that hadn't changed since I left. To be honest, nothing had changed much. It was more built up than I remembered it being but my memories were so fuzzy it was like it happened to someone else.

"Welcome home, Pumpkin." Clay said with a smile as he pulled into the TM Motors lot.

Stepping out of the van into the hot California sun and onto the forecourt of the garage felt like a dream. My shoes scuffed against the rough ground as I looked around. The only things that had changed were the men walking around in the uniforms and the sign above the work area. Bikes lined the road leading into it and I couldn't help but be mesmerised by how they all shone in the sun. There were girls sitting on them talking to men that did that manly nod to Jax and Clay as we passed them.

"Is that her?!" I heard a voice shout over and whipped my head around to see a tall man with a beard and beanie on, despite the weather.

"Harry?!" I shouted, a look of delight lit up his face and he started walking towards me.

I jogged to him; as soon as we met he laughed and grabbed me into a bear hug, lifting me off my feet with ease. I hugged him back tightly as he spun me around.

"You were just a skinny kid," I said when he put me back on the floor, "what the fuck happened?"

"Same to you," he said and looked me up and down, not like he was checking me out, just like he couldn't believe that I was grown up, "I missed you, kid."

I nodded and held back tears as the others had caught up. There were lots of 'bro hugs' going on and I watched the exchanges with interest. I felt like such an outsider; something I hadn't felt since I started school before I got a name for myself with my… antics. More people were starting to gather around I was introduced to them all, the entire time I was looking for my aunt Gemma. I met with Mr. Winston, although he said to please call him Piney, and hugged him tenderly.

"I swear to god," I said quietly to Chibs after being introduced to Bobby Elvis, "if I hear one more ridiculous name, I'm going to fucking scream."

He chuckled beside me as a man with a Mohawk approached my nervously. He was so sweet looking that I could barely see him as a killer. He smiled at me and scratched the back of his head.

"Hey," he said, "I'm Juice."

"Oh my god." I sighed and heard Chibs laugh beside me.

"What?"

"Nothing," I shook my head, "it's nice to meet you."

Later on that evening I still hadn't seen Aunt Gemma and I was getting tense. I had been promised that I would see her at the "family dinner" which wasn't just Gemma, Clay, Jax and I; it was the whole club. I had met most of them already except for a few that were out on a "run". I said bye and see you later to the guys and Clay drove me to his and Gemma's place. It was the first time we had been alone since the school. I was nervous and tired but mostly hungry.

The smell of cooking hit me as soon as I walked in and my stomach growled.

"Vee!?"

I recognised the voice as soon as I heard it. When she came to the hallway where I was stood with my arms folded nervously. I had missed her so much.

"C'mere Baby," she said and I ran into her open arms.

She hadn't changed at all, not really. I hugged her so tightly that she had to tell me to loosen my grip. I apologised but didn't let go.

Back when I was a child, Aunt Gemma was one of the only sources of stability in my young life. She always had me over to her house to sleep if my mother was going particularly crazy; there was always a bed for me there. That's where I had been when I was taken away.

"It's ok, darlin'," she whispered into my hair, "you're safe here."

I nodded and pulled away. She cupped my face with her hands and kissed my forehead gently before taking my hand and leading me into the kitchen where I saw a couple of other women chopping up vegetables and working over pots. She introduced me to Luanne and Lila.

"Do you need me to help?" I asked after I had greeted them.

"Can you make any desserts?" Luanne asked, "I don't think I'm gonna have time."

"Yeah sure. What have you got?"

I spent the latter part of the afternoon helping the other ladies in the kitchen talking about my school life and the mischief I had got up to with Anya. They laughed when I told them about the different guys I had slept with and why I had broken up with them.

"He legitimately thought he was a werewolf!" I told them as they laughed, "He used to howl when he came and it was the funniest thing! I could never keep a straight face."

"Private school isn't quite all it looks on the TV, huh?" Aunt Gemma said before tasting my cake batter, "that's delicious, by the way."

I grinned, happy that I had impressed her.

Once everything was finished the others had started to arrive and my stomach started turning in knots when I heard their voices.

"Go and get cleaned up, hon; we'll see you in a minute." Gemma said.

After I had washed my hands I followed the cacophony of noise coming from where I guessed the dining room was. There was a huge table, lined with people. It was amazing. Jax had come over immediately with his son in his arms and his girlfriend by his side.

"Hi," she said with a welcoming smile, "I'm Tara. Jax has told me all about you; what he didn't Gemma did."

I laughed but wasn't embarrassed; they were some funny stories.

Gemma was at one end of the table while Clay was at the other end. Jax and Tara sat up near Clay with Opie and Chibs. There was only a couple of people I hadn't met, one of them was a handsome guy with amazing blue eyes and dark hair. He walked over to me, picked up my hand and kissed it. I laughed but felt myself blushing slightly.

"Hello beautiful lady," he said, "I'm Alexander Trager, but you can call me Tig."

"I'm Emi- I'm Vivania." using my real name will take some getting used too, "It's nice to meet you Tig."

"Down boy!" Chibs shouted over and threw a bread roll at the back of Tig's head.

The latter whipped around and went to throw it back but Gemma had barked at them to grow up. Immediately, they stopped and behaved themselves. I looked at her with an amused expression; impressed that she could get the big, bad biker guys to shut up and sit down. Gemma winked at me and patted the space next to her so I could sit down.

Dinner went by quite well, I chatted and was charismatic although I felt so nervous I thought I was going to faint. It came back to the realisation I had in the van. I was sat at a table full of killers but watching them interact and listening to them talking to each other made it hard to believe. Soon though, conversation had turned to the Warrens. I was listening really intently.

"So," Chibs said as he took a third slice of my chocolate cake, "what are we gonna do about those fuc- um… pricks?"

"We can't just go in guns blazing," Clay said with a casual sip of beer, "there'll be all sorts of complications with their allies. We've got to be careful."

"So undercut their business," I said and looked between them and all the other people around the table looked at me, "they supply guns too right?"

They nodded.

I said ,"okay, then take away their business. If they bought the guns from SOA to then sell onto other people then they could offer to cut out the middle man, sell them the product for cheaper therefore making the Warrens part of the deal obsolete. They could get the contacts from the Warrens system, which wouldn't be hard to do, if my stepdad's lack of computer knowledge was anything to go by, and contact them directly."

"Ok…" Clay nodded slowly, mulling over my idea, "and how do we get them to bite? They are gonna go to the Warrens if they are close enough."

"No offence," I said with a smile, "they're all criminals, just like you. If you guys were offered a new price, which your enemies weren't going to get, would you tell people about it? Unlikely. Getting them to take the offer is the hard part, find out what they like. Drugs, guns, girls? Whatever it is, deliver it to them, for free as a thank you, with some of your best men as guard dogs. You need to make it seem like you care about them; make them think you value their business.

"Once you've got them and their other clientele, the Warrens go out of business; they leave to find someone else to sell your guns too. You take their business, you take their land and you can expand not only the SOA but Teller-Morrow motors. You can raise your prices slowly until they are paying the same amount that they were paying the Warrens and your guys are rolling in the dough."

They were looking impressed with my idea and a warm feeling of pride was spreading through me.

"Baking and criminally minded," Tig said with a sly smile, "how are you still single?"

"Just lucky I guess," I shrugged, winking at him.

A discussion ensued about the new plan. I felt a warm hand on my arm and looked over to Gemma who was looking at me with a proud smile and nodding. They were talking about the Warren's buyers, who they were and what they liked. Clay tapped his beer bottle on the table silencing everybody.

"Ok, I know we're all excited, but let's talk about this more tomorrow in Church. Before we do anything, I want to run it by my daughter," he pointed at me with his bottle, "she'll be the brains behind the operation."

By then it was far too late, everyone that had brought their children had gone home along with some others. The only people left around the table were myself, Clay, Chibs, Jax and Tig just drinking and talking. It felt nice, honestly, normal. I felt almost at home. I could hear Gemma clattering around in the kitchen as she cleaned up and conversation had turned back to my time at the school. I poured myself some more wine as I answered their questions.

"So," Jax asked, "how many languages do you actually speak?"

"Like 4 fluently, not including English. I speak, Spanish, Russian, French and Italian. Oh and Latin but nobody knows what that actually sounds like so I don't really count it."

"Clever girl," Chibs said with a slight slur in his voice.

I shrugged again and drained the rest of the bottle of wine into my glass although I was feeling extremely drowsy. I wasn't even sure if I would be able to find the room that had been set up for me. I stood up, with my wine in hand, and announced that I was going to bed. I leant down and kissed Jax on the cheek before going to leave but I heard Tig go, 'Um, what about us?' so I turned and kissed the others to, saying goodnight as I went round the table.

"Good to have you back, Kid." Clay said seriously after I stood up back up from him.

I nodded silently and moved over to Chibs, placing my arm around his shoulders to pull him closer before planting a gentle kiss on his scarred cheek.

"Goodnight Chibs, thanks for coming to get me," I said to him as I stood back up.

"Don't worry about it," he said quietly, looking almost shy.

When I got to Tig I laughed; he had stood up with his arms open wide. I stepped close to him and hugged him, careful not to spill my wine. He kissed me hard on the lips.

"Goodnight Tigger." I laughed and stepped away.

I had stumbled up the stairs with my head spinning and vision blurry. I did find the bedroom eventually, thanks to Gemma coming out of her bedroom and pointed me in the right direction. I collapsed fully clothed on the bed and fell asleep straight away.

 **Sorry!:** that was a bit more cheerful, wasn't it? Sorry for the late update, I was meaning for this to be up yesterday but it turned out to be a bit hectic for me on a personal level but hopefully you'll forgive me? I made this one at least 1000 words longer than my previous chapters. I just couldn't stop writing! I probably rambled a lot _but_ I have set up the subplot that I'm hoping to carry on with during this story.

Thanks for all the lovely comments guys! I have really needed something positive to look at these past couple of days and I just kept rereading them. I know it sounds sad but this is the first ever thing I have ever put of mine anywhere for people to see and all your nice words mean a lot to me.

Enough rambling!

Thanks again,

Love, Doe xx


	5. Chapter 4 - The Outlaw Gene

Chapter 4 – The Outlaw Gene

Walking into the clubhouse was such a weird feeling. I smiled when I saw the mugshots on the wall and saw Uncle John's. My mother looked nothing like him despite them being siblings. Jax looked a lot like him though.

"I bet you don't recognise most of these guys," Jax said as he walked up beside me, giving me a quick side hug.

"Not really." I shrugged.

I looked around the room and breathed in the familiar smell of beer and cigarettes. The atmosphere was the same. I walked over to the bar, running my hand over the smooth wood until I found the slight notch.

"I remember when you did that," my cousin laughed, "I had never seen so much blood in my life. I thought you were gonna die. Me and Ope were crying so much."

"I didn't even know what death was back then," I said and ran my finger over the scar at the top of my forehead, just under my hairline, "I still have the mark where the wood went in."

My mind went back to being chased around the clubhouse by Jax and Harry, as he was to me then, despite being shouted at by the club members to stop. Mr Winston had grabbed his son by the scruff of his neck but Jax continued until I ran head first into a large splinter of wood hanging off the side of the bar. I remember being in so much pain and feeling winded as warm blood soaked into my hair and down my face. Uncle John had immediately come over to me and started working over my head while my own father stood back and watched everything unfold, seemingly uncaring. My mother was too drunk to notice what was going on. I think that just about sums up my entire life.

The wood of the bar had worn down into a smooth dip over the years.

"Uh, ma'am?"

The voice brought me out of my thoughts and I whipped around to see Juice stood behind me holding what looked like a wad of paper. He looked nervous. I smiled at him when I realised he had called me ma'am. I had never been called that before. He was so sweet.

"You can just call me Viv, Juice, don't worry," I laughed.

"Yes ma'am. Clay told me to give this to you," he handed me the papers; "it's all the info on all the Warren's clients."

"Oh! Thanks. You hacked into their system? Was it easy?"

"Yeah kinda. Their passwords were all 'Warren', except their Porn site accounts. They were all their dogs' name- butter69."

I laughed as he showed me to the table where I guessed everything would be taking place. I wasn't allowed in their actual meeting room so they had pushed some tables together in the bar to make a makeshift conference table with 6 chairs around it. Jax shooed me out of the seat I had chosen and said to sit at the head of the table.

"Seriously? Isn't this your seat?"

"Nah, I sit up there. Besides, you're in charge of this meeting. Just don't tell Clay I told you."

Juice had sat on my left and was looking through all of the information with me but when the other guys filed in behind Clay; he stood up so quickly I jumped and swore.

"Good afternoon Pumpkin," Clay said to me before looking pointedly at Juice who just looked sheepish.

I put my hand on the younger man's forearm and told him to sit down. Once he was seated and the other guys had got all their drinks, I felt a warm hand squeeze my right shoulder. I looked up to see Chibs sitting in the chair on my right, smiling at me, before returning his hand to the table. Tig placed a glass of wine in front of me; clinking his beer bottle against it. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Should I trust this?" I asked him sceptically.

"Totally up to you sweetheart," Tig joked back, taking his seat beside Juice.

"If I end up passing out," I said, turning to Chibs, "I'm trusting you to look after me."

"Anytime," Chibs said and sipped his beer.

Clay tapped his beer on the table, signalling the start of the meeting. I listened to their plan, nodding and taking notes on the back of the papers Juice had given me. I wasn't going to say what I thought until they had finished explaining it to me. I had decided to trust the wine and sipped it throughout the conversation.

The plan was, essentially, as follows:

Step 1: Get into contact with the clients.

Step 2: Set up meetings with them in their compounds.

Step 3: Get all of them on the SOA client list.

"So," Jax asked, leaning forwards, "what do you think?"

I sipped my wine and looked over the notes I had made, nodding.

"Well," I said carefully, "you have a good overall plan _but_ you need to reel yourselves in a bit; you can't expect all of the clients to want to switch their loyalties. There is 12 groups here, there is bound to be people that don't like the Sons. You need to prepare for that," they all nodded thoughtfully, "even with bribes you're going to struggle. You can't go into their places; its way to dangerous even with all of your guys. It would look like an ambush and set them on edge, not the ideal situation for a good first impression. They also can't come here. You need to find a no man's land, of sorts where you can meet amicably."

Clay scratched his chin and nodded again, "ok, I should have thought of that. Good point."

"How are you going to persuade them? You need at least a rough plan."

"We were kind of hoping you would help with setting up the meetings," Jax said, looking at me hopefully, "and maybe set up a kind of… like a script for me to use."

"And," Chibs interjected, turning towards me, "we would like you to come along."

"Oh. Oh no I don't think I could do that."

"Why?"

I looked at him not knowing what to say. I didn't want to admit that I was afraid. I was afraid, not only of the organisations themselves, but when the Warrens find out what is happening, they will kill me; or they will kill Jax or Gemma. They killed Anya, a random girl that just got in the way; she wasn't even a part of this. They wouldn't think twice about killing anyone related to the Sons. I had just got some family back; I didn't want to lose them.

I realised that I was still looking at him as these thoughts and fears raced through my head and he was looking back with a steady gaze. I blinked but still said nothing. I didn't want him to know I was scared.

"Exactly," he said with a shrug when I didn't reply, "so you can come with us. Besides, you can give them something to look at. They don't wanna look at our ugly mugs."

They all laughed but I couldn't get past the cold feeling in my heart when I thought of Anya. I have tried to push it all from my memory but every time I blinked I saw her blank, lifeless eyes staring after me as I was dragged from the room.

The meeting continued with them making new plans that now involved me and my part in it. I still wasn't convinced that me going along would be a good idea but it had been decided that I was going too.

"You ok, Lass?" I heard Chibs ask.

I blinked quickly over my dry eyes and focused them on him. It was just us sat at the table now, how long had I been staring into space? He had a hand on my upper arm and had ducked his head so that he could look into my face. I cast my eyes over his face and nodded. He was a handsome man, I realised for the first time, very handsome in fact. I felt myself blush at the thought but if he noticed he didn't show it. He slowly let go of my arm with a sceptical look and turned back to the table where he had been squinting at my notes. He sighed in resignation and pulled a pair of glasses out of his front pocket; sliding them on to his face and relaxing his eyes, obviously able to read the writing better.

"Can't see a bloody thing without these anymore," he said when he saw me looking at them.

"They're cute," I said, surprising both myself and him.

I played it off as a joke, laughing at his suddenly shy demeanour and pink cheeks. He cleared his throat and studied the paper intently without moving his eyes. i sat and looked around the bar, Clay and Jax were sat at another table talking quietly. When they caught me looking they nodded their heads at me and Jax smirked. I narrowed my eyes but turned back to Chibs.

"You do all this at uni?" he asked me.

"Yeah a lot of it, some of it is just common sense and some of it must be the outlaw gene though."

He laughed slightly and handed me my notes back.

"And you're sure you don't mind helping us? At least with setting up the meets?"

"Yeah sure," I shrugged, ignoring the images that played through my mind, "it'll take my mind off things. Anyway, I'm going to see if I can find Gemma, I need to make a start on my duties."

I drained the rest of my wine before standing up. As I stood he took hold of my hand and pointed to his cheek with a cheeky grin and a wink; making me laugh and shake my head in disbelief but I bent down to kiss his cheek, placing my hand on his other cheek to hold him in place. He squeezed my hand as a goodbye.

When I turned around I saw Tig with his arms open wide and a grin on his face. I laughed again, stepping into his arms and covering his mouth with my hand so I could get his cheek and not get kissed on the lips again.

"I wish I had never started this," I said as I stepped away from him.

"You can't have favourites, sweetheart, it's just not fair," Tig smiled and looked back at Chibs.

"I don't have favourites! I'm sure I'll get to love you all equally."

"You don't love us now?!" Tig feigned hurt, putting his hand over his heart.

"I literally met you yesterday."

I waited by the car for Gemma. It was coming into late evening now, the stars were peeking through the clouds and looking at them gave me a sense of calm. I had my arms folded and my back leaning against the cold metal as I ran through all of my thoughts. I thought about how much my life changed in a week. I was surrounded by accents that were so strange and yet so familiar, people the same.

I wondered what my friends were doing back at school, how had everybody taken the news of Anya's death? Did people know that I had been lying to them for all those years about my name, who I was, everything? Was Anya's mum angry at me? Probably.

I heard Gemma's shoes coming over the concrete and looked up.

"You did good today Baby," she said as she came closer, hugging me, "they are all so impressed with you. You're fitting right in."

I didn't want to fit in. I wanted a normal life without gun running and killing and death. I wanted to be an accountant in Russia or Spain or Italy.

I smiled at her when she pulled back and slid into my seat.

The drive home was quiet as I was thinking about the past and the future, just everything. I saw why my mother pulled us away from that life but I didn't get why she invited it back in by getting married to Michael. I guess she just wanted someone to love her too. She loved Clay, I know she did, but he never loved her. I was the result of a one night stand 25 years ago and they had both resented my existence ever since. She thought he would stay with her if I was here; she was wrong. I realise now that Michael hated me because I was the child of the enemy, but that was no reason to hurt a child.

"Are you ok?" I heard Gemma ask.

I looked around and saw that we had arrived back to the house and were parked up in the driveway. I nodded at her with a weak smile as I opened the door. We gathered our shopping bags from the back seat and trunk of the car; struggling up to the door with them. This morning felt like a lifetime ago. We had gone shopping in the city where Gemma had bought me all sorts of different clothes. I had brand new shoes, professional clothes, casual clothes, underwear, pyjamas… everything. I was both grateful and felt awkward that I had accepted it. I had protested but then she said that I could pay her back as soon as I got a job, which had made me feel better about the whole thing.

"Don't forget to put all that away in your closet then come down for some dinner, ok? We're having steak."

"Thanks, Gemma. Is Clay coming for dinner?"

"Of course he is, why?"

"I just… I think it's time we had a talk, that's all."

She smiled at me sadly and nodded.

In my room, I heaved all of my stuff on the bed and looked over everything with a sigh. It was almost overwhelming to look at but I made a start on cleaning up and putting everything away, making sure I left out some clothes for the next day and some pyjamas for later before going back down stairs to help Gemma with dinner.

Sitting around the dinner table was quiet while we ate. When Gemma stood to clear the table I decided now was a good a time as any to speak to my father.

"Why didn't you want me?" I asked him, my voice sounding stronger than I felt.

"Viv…"

"I need to know, Clay. Please."

"It's not that I didn't want you, Viv. I _couldn't_ be there for you."

"Why?"

He fixed me with a look that was fixed in my memory from when I was a child. He looked cold and uncaring but there was something in his eyes that looked like regret and pain. I saw that he regretted letting me get taken away but that didn't stop the feelings of resentment that I had towards him.

"I was just a kid, Clay. I shouted for you and you did _nothing_ to help me." I stated when he stayed quiet, "I needed your help for 14 years and you never came."

"I tried, sweetheart," Clay said eventually, "I came to England on more than once but I bet they never told you that, did they? The Warrens have always used you as a bargaining chip. If we didn't give them the guns; if we didn't let them sell dope and crack in Charming, you would be hurt. Your cracked ribs were a warning. The broken jaw was payback for our guys attacking theirs."

"But what was stopping you from coming to get me? You were in England; you knew where I went to school."

"You're uncle John died. They needed to get a new leader. I knew you were safe while you were at the school I sent you to. You had a new identity and I didn't even have to tell you to get one. When I found out that you had finished high school, I paid for you to go to college. I didn't want you in that house."

"You paid for my education? Michael said it was him."

He laughed bitterly and shook his head in disbelief.

"No, Pumpkin, I paid for it all. I went to England, I saw you while you were in… primary school do they call it over there? I found your mom and I told her that if she didn't send you to that private school I was taking you away. In her way she loved you and wanted to know you were safe. I told her that was the best way for that to happen. Michael didn't even know which school you were being sent too.

"When we made that deal with the Warrens, we didn't know they were being watched. The shipment was being followed by law enforcement and some of their guys got arrested; Christopher blamed it on us. Your mom sold you out and told them where to find you."

"Why?"

"Fear. Michael is bad but Christopher makes him look like a kitten. She really had no choice."

I sat back in my chair and tried to digest everything I had just heard. My whole life had been a lie. Mother lied to me about everything. I grew up resenting my dad because I thought he didn't care about me. I didn't know that he sent me away from that house in secrecy to keep me safe _because_ he cared. I hated him.

"I'm sorry Pumpkin, I thought you knew." He said it so sincerely I felt like crying, "When I learnt that your mom had dropped my name off of the end of yours I was pissed. I named you, your mom wanted to call you Alana-May Teller-Morrow. I thought Vivania Teller-Morrow was less of a mouthful. I didn't know how to feel when I found out you had changed it completely and dyed your hair."

I smiled. I didn't know he had named me either. I liked my name; it was unique but held a lot of unhappy memories for me. I didn't even know who Vivania was anymore; I had been Emilia for longer than I had been Vivania. Emilia was cool and sexy woman that got what she wanted whenever she wanted; Vivania was a scared little girl. I didn't know who I was anymore.

"I didn't want anything to do with you. I didn't want your name, or her name, I didn't want blonde hair like you or Mother or John or Jax. I wanted nothing to do with the Sons so I lied about everything. I worked on losing my accent and everything until I wasn't Vivania Teller anymore."

Gemma came back in then. I wondered if perhaps she had been stood listening. I would have been if it was me. She went and stood beside her husband and rubbed his back affectionately. I watched them with a pit in my stomach; I had to look away.

"Thank you for telling me that. I don't know how to feel about it; there's a lot to think about."

"Sleep on it sweetheart," Gemma said softly, "you've got a big day tomorrow."

I looked back up at her with a nod.

When I stood up Clay held his hand out to me. I hesitantly took it and he kissed the top of my hand tenderly. I knew I was seeing a side of Clay that perhaps even Jax had rarely seen; a kind side to him that he had probably saved just for me. I smiled slightly but when he told me that he loved me, I couldn't say it back but I think they understood. I stepped away with a small nod and went back upstairs to sit and digest everything that I had just been told.

 **Miss Vanjie, Miss… Vaaaaangie-** real life sucks right now so I want to throw myself into this pretend one. Who else is watching the new season of RuPaul right now? I fucking love it.

This is a crappy update, I know and I've expositioned you all to death but I felt like there was air that needed to be cleared between Vivania and her dad. The next chapter I think things are going to get more exciting. Things are going to start happening soon I promise.

To the guest reviewer/s asking for her to pair with Happy, this is a Chibs fic _but_ I do have an idea for a Happy one. He is Daddy #2. Don't think I have forgotten about him.

Until next time,

Doe xx


	6. Chapter 5 - Favourites

Chapter 5 – Favourites

 **S'up bitches,** just a note from me to say that when the speech is in italics that is the conversation taking place in a different language. I am not multi-lingual nor do I trust google translate to get it exactly right. I hope it's not too confusing. That's all for now, I'll see you after! **}**

Badass biker chick is fun and everything but business bitch is who I feel more comfortable being. I was wearing a white chiffon blouse tucked into a high waisted skirt that would perhaps be too tight and short for an actual office job but perfectly acceptable for the TM motors yard. I had spent most of the morning getting ready for the day ahead; shaving my all my limbs and under my arms, plucking my eyebrows and carefully applying makeup. I hadn't even realised how much I had let myself go over the week that I had been away from university. As soon as my hair was put up into a neat French twist I knew I looked like myself again. I looked like an actual adult. I needed to do my roots though, I noticed when my hair was pulled back, it looked like a thin white stripe around my hairline and down my parting.

"Are you nearly ready Vee?" Gemma asked from the doorway, "we need to get going."

"Boots or heels?"

She raised a single eyebrow at me and I bent down to slip on my heels. I felt complete again; fully myself… whoever that was now. Gemma complimented me and handed me my new handbag with all the notes and papers and junk in it that I would need to make these phone calls.

"They're really not gonna know what hit them," Gemma said with a smile, "come on."

I held my head high and smiled back at her.

I was feeling better after my talk with Clay, lighter almost, like the air had been cleared slightly. I could now concentrate on my job for the day which happened to be contacting a series of 12 different criminal organisations and talk about guns; a subject I wasn't all that familiar with. I trotted down the stairs and into her car where I looked over my notes and tried not to fret about how it was going to go. It was going to be fine, I kept telling myself, I'm going to be fine. I just need to be friendly and charismatic, try and be as persuasive as possible, you know?

"Ready?" Gemma asked and directed me towards the small office, "they're all in there."

"All?" I asked nervously.

"You'll be fine! I've got to go into town and get some groceries but I'll be back in a couple of hours."

I gulped but nodded and hopped out of the car. I tottered over the concrete, my shoes making a comforting click-clack. As soon as I went into the office my confidence faltered as everyone was silent. As I looked around I saw Clay sat in the office chair with his feet up on the desk; Juice and Tig sat on a sofa down the other end, Chibs smoking a cigarette as he leant against the wall beside the door and Bobby and Jax leaning against the desk. The room felt about 10 times smaller as I closed the door behind me.

"Um," I said unsurely, "good morning everyone."

They were just staring at me but were jolted out of their stupor by Chibs moving away from the wall to sit with his legs crossed on the sofa between Juice and Tig.

"Morning ma'am," Juice chimed cheerfully, his greeting followed by a chorus of good mornings from the rest of them.

"You look great, Pumpkin," Clay said with a smile, "very grown up."

"Well," I reached up to smooth my hair back, "I am 25 Clay. If I don't look like an adult now I never will. May I sit down?"

He stood up and gestured for me to sit down. I shooed Jax and Bobby off the desk with my bag and sat down. I spread out the different papers, deciding on who I should call first, and brought the phone over to me. Taking a deep breath, I picked up the phone and punched in the numbers for a Russian peaceful protest organisation. I don't think I need to point out the irony of a peaceful protest group buying guns.

"Speaker phone," Jax hissed.

I pressed the button and clicked the handset down as the person on the other end answered in Russian. The sound of the familiar language made me feel at ease. I switched straight into the language and into my sales person voice.

" _Good morning sir,"_ I greeted, also in Russian, " _my name in Vivania Teller-Morrow, speaking on behalf of Clay Morrow. May I speak to Nikolai Semenov?"_

I wanted to laugh at the gawping faces of the guys that had been watching me but remained professional. The man on the phone told me that he was Nikolai and I made a delighted sound, making my voice more cheerful.

" _Hello Mr. Semenov, I am wondering if you would perhaps be open to a meeting with Jax Teller of the Sons of Anarchy to discuss a possible new business venture that would be of benefit to both you and your cause."_

" _Who are you?"_ Nikolai asked and I felt mildly annoyed, this wasn't the way I had planned this going.

" _I am Vivania Teller-Morrow, daughter of Clay Morrow. Are you interested in listening to our offer?"_

He made a noise of agreement.

" _We have information telling us that you are paying $250,000 per shipment and we believe it would be beneficial for your organisation and ours if you were to cut out the middleman and get the same shipment for cheaper by leaving the Warren family client list and come to join us."_

" _How much?"_

" _We will need to meet in person to negotiate prices but I can assure you that it will be cheaper than what the Warrens are offering you."_

" _Our compound-"_

" _I'm afraid we are only willing to meet at a mutual place. There is a diner on the road out towards the city, Hope's."_

" _I know the place. Hope's, tomorrow at 10:35 am."_

The phone was then put down and I blinked in surprise. I looked back up from where I had been writing out what was said and the meeting time and place. There were a lot of open mouths and surprised faces. Clay was looking at me with pride in his eyes. I relayed the conversation with them, translating everything that had been said and where the meeting was taking place.

"That was so cool," Juice said with a huge smile, "you're fluent?"

I nodded with a smile as I passed my paper over to Jax to look over.

The rest of the morning was filled with me making the phone calls and trying to persuade them to at least meet with us to negotiate new prices. I managed to get almost all of them on board except for 3 of the organisations, a group of Nazis, another gang in New York and an extreme survivalist group. I thought that 9/12 wasn't bad going and I was pretty proud of myself. Some of the guys had been sent away by Clay to 'actually do some work' but Jax and Chibs stayed; ignoring what Clay had said. When I had finally finished all the phone calls I sat back in an extremely unladylike fashion and sighed, stretching my arms above my head and hearing my back crack.

"Oh my god," I sighed.

"You did good, Kid." Clay said and came around to pat me on the shoulder.

I felt like rubbing my eyes but I couldn't because of my makeup. I just settled for closing them for a minute or two.

Most of these meets were happening at Hope's diner but there was a couple I couldn't convince of that either and we were going to have to go to them. I was nervous about that but I was told that there would be more guys going to those with us. That eased my concerns slightly but not enough that I felt 100% safe. I decided that I needed a drink and stood up slowly. I felt stiff and achy from being sat in a hard office chair for so long.

"Wine?" Jax asked with a laugh.

"Am I that predictable already? Its lunch time, don't judge me. Are you coming?" I said back with a smile.

"Yeah. Clay? Chibs?"

They both nodded.

Walking into the sun felt glorious. I just wanted to lie down and get a tan; not something I could do too much in England. I turned my face up to it and sighed. Chibs was walking beside me silently while Jax and Clay walked up front; their conversation now turning to the first negotiation tomorrow. As we walked I felt his arm brushing against my shoulder and him knocking into my side slightly. I bit my lip to stop the smile that was threatening to creep onto my face.

"You photosynthesising?"

I looked around and saw Gemma walking up to me with a glass of lemonade in her hand. She explained that Clay had told her all about the stuff that had happened that I did really well and impressed everybody. I hadn't set out to impress anyone but it felt nice to know that they were proud of me.

"Yeah," I replied and held my hands up to the sun, "I love this weather. Do you even know how much it rains in England?"

"Don't sit out in it too much; you'll get old."

She sat beside me on the picnic bench and closed her eyes. We sat in a comfortable silence for a while until Jax and Clay came and sat in front of us. Clay replaced my empty glass of wine with a glass of water with a raised eyebrow.

"I think you got me the wrong drink Clay," I said but sipped the cool water anyway.

It felt nice to sit with all of them, like we were a normal family sat out somewhere just enjoying the weather. I felt a wave of calmness wash over me and sighed. I looked around and took in my surroundings; there were mechanics working on different things and the sound of power tool whirring into the calm air but it was all part of TM, it was all coming back to me in bits and pieces. After a while, I was getting too warm, almost sweaty even in my light clothing. I guess it would take some getting used too. I wasn't sure how the guys and Gemma wore leather jackets in this weather. I mentioned to them that I was going to go in and get some more water.

Happily in the cool shade of the bar I felt a bit better. Tig and Chibs were stood by the bar talking to the man named Chucky. I quietly walked towards the bar and caught Chibs' eye. He was looking at me in amusement but didn't greet me. I realised why when I got closer and heard what Tig was saying.

"… happy I was sat down. Man, when she walked in in that skirt I was just... fucking rock solid. You think clay noticed? The things I would do to her. I heard she liked older guys, you know?"

I looked between Chibs, Chucky and the back of Tig's head with wide, surprised eyes before settling my face into a smug expression and tapping Tig on the shoulder. He jumped and whirled around to face me. Chibs roared with laughter, slapping the bar as he laughed with Chucky. Tig looked shocked but not embarrassed about what he said, more about being caught.

"Where did you hear that from?" I asked and fixed him with a coy smile, "I mean, you're not wrong, but how did you know?"

He spluttered, obviously stunned that I heard. I had found it funny, I wasn't even insulted. I was starting to get to know their personalities by now and knew that this was just how he was; he wouldn't try anything. From what I gathered from the conversation, he was slightly afraid of Clay and what would happen to him if he did try anything. I laughed at his still shocked expression and ordered another glass of water with ice before walking back outside to my family, throwing a teasing look over my shoulder at him and still laughing when his mouth gawped open.

When Clay gathered the gang together he invited me along, in the bar though; they weren't taking it to church like they usually would so I got a chance to interject with anything useful. He was running through the plan with meeting with the Russian guys tomorrow. We were going to use the first as a kind of practise run, although it was being taken with utmost seriousness. The Russians are peaceful protesters but that doesn't mean that it was still going to be completely safe. Jax was running the meetings, Clay would stay back and wait for the call on whether they had taken the negotiation or shot us all. That didn't fill me with much confidence but I managed to hide my anticipation. He had chosen a few guys to take with him, and me, and some on standby.

"So," Jax said as he shoved his hand in his pockets, "I'm taking Chibs, Happy, Tig, Opie and Juice. I want you to look out for Vee."

I started to protest against having babysitters but he cut me off and Clay threw me a mildly annoyed look and I stayed quiet.

"Vee is coming to take notes and to tell me what I'm doing wrong," he laughed and I smiled at him, "and translating those Russian guys."

"I want suits," I said when he had stopped talking and all the guys that were coming along groaned and complained, "complain all you want. It's a business deal, not a standoff at high noon. If I see a single trainer, a pair of jeans or leather… thing, I am going to send you home to change. Understood?"

"They're called kuttes." Jax said, clearly unhappy about my rule, "how are they gonna know who we are if we don't wear them."

"You are the Sons of Anarchy," I said as if it explained everything, "If you are as infamous as you make yourselves out to be, they should know who you are without your little matching outfits."

"I'll wear a suit ma'am, even if these guys won't." Juice said with an easy smile.

"I'm starting to think you're my favourite, Juice."

I smiled at his cheerful expression and twinkly eyes. He seemed so happy and light hearted all the time. He was a sweet guy.

"But," I said and fixed each of them with a stern look, "they will all wear suits."

"Yes boss," Chibs said with a salute in my direction and the others seemed to follow his lead and agreed.

"Don't forget combed hair," I pointed to Jax, Tig and Opie, "neat beards and clean fingernails. You don't need to worry about all that though Happy, just get a suit yeah?"

"I've got one for funerals," he said.

I don't know what it was that made me laugh when he said it. Was it the monotone voice and steady expression? Or perhaps it was the fact that he looked my dead in the eyes when he spoke. I covered my mouth to try and stifle my laughter but it leaked out slightly. I walked over to him and patted his shoulder.

"Well done," I said with another giggle, "I'm proud of you."

He sat up straighter and puffed out his chest proudly and it made me smile.

As the meeting came to an end, everyone double checking their roles and I drilled into them about looking smart, Tig gestured for me to go over to him. I frowned sceptically but walked over anyway, I guess I was curious. He hadn't spoken to me since I caught his conversation with Chibs and Chucky.

"I thought I said you shouldn't have favourites," he pouted, "what has Juice done to be your favourite?"

I raised my eyebrow, amused that he had apparently been thinking about a small comment I had made almost an hour ago. I looked at him sympathetically and touched his cheek.

"He calls me ma'am and does what he's told," I said, running my thumb over his skin; teasing him so that he sat up straight, "I like that about him."

"Where am I on your list?"

He had placed his hands on my waist now and pulled me between his legs. I smirked and tilted my head to the side; enjoying the effect I was having on him. I hadn't been like this with anyone for a while. Teasing men was kind of my hobby when I was going through school. I leaned down close to him like I was going to kiss him but stopped about 2 inches away from his face.

"You're not even in my top 5," I whispered to him with a small pout before slipping out of his grasp and walking away.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Chibs pat his friend on the back with a laugh as Tig looked after me with a pained look on his face.

"Who's your second favourite?!" he shouted after me.

"Chibs!" I called back and laughed when I heard the Scottish man cheer loudly.

When the time finally came for the first meeting, I felt a sense of nervousness as I got dressed. A similar outfit to yesterday, seeing as the guys were so receptive to it, but with a deep red blouse instead of white. I twirled my hair up into a neat bun, not bothering with all the pins for a French twist. Gemma was giving me a lift to the clubhouse and from there we would travel as a group to Hope's. When we arrived I saw Jax walking into the clubhouse; he was wearing a suit so I could only hope that the rest of them were too. I stepped through the door and gasped audibly when I saw them all stood around in their suits. They turned to face me with wide eyes.

"All of these handsome men, just for me?" I exclaimed and put my hand over my heart dramatically.

They greeted me cheerfully and I inspected them all individually, like the teacher used to do in my school. They were all nearly perfect except for Tig's hair but it didn't matter what I did it just sprang back up again. I decided to let it slide; I was wasting time.

I gave them another quick run through of the plan. Jax and Chibs were going to be facing the other gang, Opie and Happy were going to be stood by the entrance to the diner acting as a sort of bouncers, and Tig and Juice were going to be sat nearby just in case something goes wrong; having Clay on speed dial. We had a prospect driving the van which is how I was going to be getting to the diner since I refused to travel by motorbike, especially in this skirt.

I lead them out to where the prospect was already waiting by the van, smoking a cigarette.

"You want me to go with you ma'am?" Juice asked but I shook my head telling him it might be good for the Russians to see how many of them were actually there with the van.

"I'll see you all there," I said before climbing into the van, "be careful of your hair under those helmets."

"No problem," Happy nodded to me.

I wasn't sure whether he was joking or not but I took it as him agreeing with me.

The journey wasn't a particularly long one but the prospect seemed mildly antisocial and wasn't speaking so it felt like it was about 3 hours long. I tried not to worry too much about how it was going to go; I had faith in Jax and that he could get them onto the SOA side of things. This meeting was only the first of 9 so even of this one went bad there is still more to go.

I couldn't help but wonder how I even got into this situation. I wasn't a criminal but here I was, helping my estranged family to run the family of my evil stepdad out of town and steal their business.

I knew it was dangerous; I knew that there was every possibility that any one of these groups letting the Warrens in on what was going on and there was every possibility that they could come and kill us all. I was, however, hopeful and optimistic that we could get these people on our side that may even be able to help with the Warren problem.

Watching the guys on their motorbikes was an interesting sight. The way that they swooped over the road looked freeing and exciting. I watched them interacting with each other and they were like a family and I felt jealous. We pulled into the parking lot of the diner. It was mostly deserted with one car by the entrance. I suspected that belonged to Mr Hope. I checked my watch and saw that we had about 15 minutes to go before our arranged time.

"Thanks," I said to the prospect but he nodded and didn't look at me.

I rolled my eyes as I hopped out of the van. Walking across the sandy floor in my high heels posed a bit of a challenge but I managed to get over to the door in a relatively elegant fashion.

"Right," I turned to the Sons, "kuttes off, suit jackets on. You can change when we are finished."

I had had a slight heated discussion with Jax on whether they could wear their kuttes on the bikes and change into their jackets when we arrived. I initially refused but when I realised I was wasting time arguing I gave in. Juice was the only man that trotted dutifully to the back of the van where I had stored the jackets while the others dragged their feet.

I entered the diner and greeted the waitress behind the counter. She was an older lady with a kind expression. I walked over to her as she eyed the guys suspiciously.

"Hello," I said with an easy smile.

"Hello Darlin', how can I help you today?"

"We have set up a couple of business meeting based in your diner over the day. We would appreciate your digression on the business being done here."

I slipped her a few notes and she nodded, casting a glance back into the kitchen before slipping the money into her apron pocket.

The guys all had coffee mugs in their hands. Chibs and Jax had situated themselves near a window where they could see the parking lot. I sat in the booth behind them with Juice and Tig. Tig was staring at me. I raised my eyebrow at him.

"Why is Chibs your second favourite?" he asked, sitting forwards.

"Are you still on this?" I huffed.

"I just-"

He was cut off by the doors opening and in walked 2 men and a woman. The main guy introduced himself with a thick Russian accent as Nikolai. I stood beside Jax and nudged him and hissed at him to introduce himself and shake the man's hand.

"You are the phone lady?" he asked me.

I smiled at him and nodded.

" _You are pretty_."

I smiled even wider, straightening out my hair and making sure that my clothes were straight. He spoke to me in Russian and I told him to please sit down and I will get him and his friends some coffee. I waved over to the waitress, Karen, and she came over with three more cups and cream. Nikolai was a mildly good looking man with a trimmed beard and shiny black hair that had been pulled back into a ponytail. His eyes were a stunning emerald green that held just the right amount of mischief. I had a crush on him for sure.

" _You can speak English."_ I stated to him, _"Do you want to speak to them in their language or through me to translate?"_

" _I want to talk to you."_

The woman who was sat on his right rolled her eyes and folded her arms, fixing him with a majorly pissed off look. I told Jax that Nikolai wanted me to translate for him during the meeting to which Jax shrugged and said that was fine; making me a space on the bench beside him.

I found the deal went down quite well. Between the flirty remarks from Nikolai and my equally flirtatious replies we managed to get him on our side. He was to pay the sons £150,000 per shipment which was just over half of what they had been paying the Warrens. They seemed happy with the agreement and even the woman was beginning to open up even going as far to give Jax the eye. Nikolai didn't even look towards Jax for the entire time, just at me. It made me feel good.

I pulled out the contract that I had typed up for them and pushed it towards him with a pen on top so that he could sign it and make it all official. When I got it back off him I saw that he had written a number on the bottom of the page; I looked up at him and smirked.

"Call me when you have enough of being the princess _,"_ he said in English and cast his first glance over to the other guys sat on the table, " _I will see you soon."_

I nodded and stood by as Jax shook his hand again in a farewell. Nikolai cast another glance back at me as he left the diner before they got in their hippie van and drove away.

I looked down at the number with a smug smile and felt eyes on me.

"What the fuck was that?" Jax asked in horror, "were you flirting with him?"

"You've got eyes Jax," I shrugged, "why wouldn't I flirt with him? You didn't think he was cute?"

He said nothing so I took that as a yes. Chibs laughed slightly but it sounded almost bitter and sipped his coffee. I was taken aback by his reaction and looked at him with a slight frown. Tig knelt backwards on his booth so that he was facing me and I looked at him warningly. If he asked about who my favourites are one more time I'm going to throw hot coffee in his face, I thought to myself. I waited for him to speak.

"That's your type then, huh?" he asked, surprising me.

I shook my head, "no, I like dark eyes. He was still cute though and I'm definitely going to give him a call."

"Dark eyes… is that why Chibs and Juice are your favourites?"

I looked between Chibs and Juice and tilted my head to the side, noticing that they did indeed both have dark eyes but shook my head again with a smile back at Tig. Jax told him to leave it now, it was getting annoying and I shot him a grateful look for voicing my thoughts.

 **S'up bitches 2.0-** this is over 4000 words! You're doing great sweetie!

Also, who is up for jealous Chibs? I'm all for it, let's see him get all hot and bothered about her maybe getting with another guy shall we?

Thanks for reading and I wanted to give a bit of a shout out to user: Khyharah for your continuing support on this story, your comments are so funny and just make my day whenever there is a new one. All of the people who have commented though are so encouraging and make me want to write more and more and more!

Thanks everyone for the faves and follows too, there really has been more support than I ever thought I would get. I appreciate all of you so much.

Also I proof read this chapter, are you proud of me?

Love, Doe xx


	7. Chapter 6 - My Boys

Chapter 6 – Her Boys

My first ever club party was… eventful to say the least.

Over the week we had managed to get all 9 of the clients on board with the Sons on Anarchy. Jax had done a great job of making it sound like they were getting the benefit, not us. At no point had we mentioned the Warrens or the plan to run them out of town. I explicitly told him not to mention that he was doing deals with other people, we didn't want them talking to each other and realising they were all paying something different. He did really well and I was proud of him. Clay was also proud, in his own way, and told us over dinner one evening that he was shaping up to be a good leader and I couldn't help but agree.

It was that Friday after the last deal had been made that the celebration took place. I had borrowed an old dress of Gemma's that was short, low cut and clung to my body in just the right ways. I looked really good, if I do say so myself. I wore my hair in a long, messy fishtail braid that fell down my back to my hips. It felt good to dress up like this finally. I used to go out almost every night so going from that to nothing felt almost stifling. Gemma said that we should go in a bit later than everybody else to make an entrance.

"We need to give the princess a big, dramatic debut, right?" she had told me earlier that day as we were picking out outfits.

"Princess? I'm a little old to be called a princess aren't I?" I scoffed as I picked out _the_ dress.

"Why? Darlin' that's what you are to them. Clay is their king and you, as his daughter, are their princess."

"I don't think I like that," I said and wrinkled my nose as I thought of what Nikolai said before he left.

"Get used to it Vee, you'll be hearing a lot of it."

As soon as I walked into the bar I finally understood what it meant to be biker royalty, for lack of a better term. Gemma had linked my arm with hers as we walked over to meet Clay and Jax where they sat with Opie and Bobby. Eyes followed us and I tried to remain confident but the wolf whistle I received from Jax helped.

"Man," he said as he pulled away from kissing my cheek, "if you weren't my cousin…"

"You're disgusting!" I laughed and sat next to Opie who handed me a drink.

I looked around the room, just taking in the atmosphere and watching the people. There were girls in dresses even more revealing than mine, if that was even possible. They were called Crow Eaters, I learned. They were girls that hung around the SAMCRO guys offering sex or company or just whatever the guys asked. It wasn't how I would want to live my life but I definitely didn't judge them for it, they were grown women; they could do what they wanted. I mean, I had been in that position a couple of times in my life too. They clung to certain members. I noticed Tig was particularly popular with them and cute little Juice too. Sat with them, on his own, was Chibs. He had been talking to Tig but it was almost like he had felt my gaze; he turned around to look at me and raised his glass of whiskey to me with a nod. I waved slightly and smiled but internally I was horrendously embarrassed I had been caught staring at him. Suddenly, both of my wrists had been grabbed by Jax and Opie as they dragged me to the middle of the floor.

"What the fuck?!" I exclaimed and they laughed.

"Come on Vee," Opie said with a grin, "we need to dance."

"Like when we were kids, do you remember?" Jax asked and started dad dancing.

They stood dancing around me and I put my head in my hands before finally caving in and dancing with them. I didn't do sexy dancing, my sense of rhythm wasn't up to it, but I flailed around goofily with them. I don't think I had ever laughed so much in my life as we whirled around each other, drawing attention to ourselves but not caring in the slightest. I couldn't remember a time that I felt so care free; in that moment I wasn't thinking about the death of my best friend or the parents I felt never loved me. I didn't think for a second about the Warrens and everything Clay had told me over dinner that night. It felt amazing.

Once the song on the jukebox changed I stopped dancing and looked up at my friends with a huge, genuine smile. They laughed and hugged me tightly.

"Careful of my lipstick!" I cried but hugged them back just as hard.

"It's so good to have you back Vee," Opie said with a warm smile, "we missed you."

"It- it's good to be back," I stuttered out, voicing what I had been thinking all week.

I made my way back over to Gemma and Clay, out of breath and hot. I was thankful of the cold glass of wine when I got back to the table, drinking it down quickly. Clay smiled at me and put his arm around Gemma, squeezing her slightly as they both looked at me with amused expressions. While I chatted to them people kept coming over and introducing themselves to me.

"Hey," a red headed girl chimed as she approached with two other girls.

I stood to meet them and held out my hand for her to shake but she knocked it away to give me a hug. I laughed and hugged her back.

"I'm Kimbra," she said before pointing to the girl on her left then on her right, "this is Cinnamon and Livia."

"Vivania," I greeted, "it's nice to meet you, all of you."

"We know who you are, silly! We just wanted to come and say hi!"

"Sorry, I guess news travels fast around here, huh?"

"Understatement of the century! Charming is a small town, everyone has heard of the SAMCRO princess coming home. We wanted to let you know that whenever you get sick of hanging out with men and stuff you should give us a call! We can go shopping, out for lunch, partying… just whatever."

"That would be really nice, actually."

They seemed like genuinely friendly girls, unlike a lot of the Crow Eaters who were mostly unnecessarily bitchy and rude but in a snide kind of way. They were nice in front of Gemma, Jax and Clay but you could read it in their eyes and in their tone of voice. I could be bitchy too; I let them know that subtly.

"I think your boys are feeling left out," Gemma joked as we stood at the bar.

My boys were Tig, Juice and Chibs. This had started when I left lipstick marks on their cheeks and said that that would be how the other girls would know they were mine. It was a joke but then it stuck and now that's just how my family started referring to them.

"You don't mind if I go and speak to them?" I asked her as I looked over my shoulder at them.

"You've been mingling with people all night, go and have some fun."

I smiled and gave her a side hug and a quick kiss before skipping off to my boys with my drink in hand. When I got to their table they all looked away from me and my face fell.

"Guys?" I asked quietly.

They were ignoring me.

"Come on!"

"Now you talk to us, the party is nearly over!" Juice shouted over the booming music and loud shouts of enjoyment from the other party goers.

"I," I put a hand to my chest and looked between them with wide eyes, "have been mingling!"

"No, we get it, don't worry."

"Stop!"

I slid into the booth and leant over Chibs to kiss Juice on his cheek, leaving a red lipstick mark. I knew I was immediately forgiven when he looked at me with those cheerful eyes of his and grinned. Once I had Juice back on my side the other two followed and started talking to me again.

"Why do you have to do this to me, Vee?" Tig groaned, "I can't even concentrate on the other girls in here! I just want to-"

"Down boy," Chibs laughed something that was quickly becoming his catchphrase towards Tig.

I just smirked at him over my wine glass. My favourite thing to do was to get Tig wound up. It was so easy and I just couldn't help myself.

I was laughing at something that Chibs had told me about one of Tig's various encounters when a blonde girl came over to the table. I hadn't met her, I don't think, although by this time I had had a decent amount to drink and wasn't thinking as straight as I could have been. She just stood at the top of the table with her arms folded, hip jutting to the side and tapping her foot.

"Hey Baby," Tig cooed to her and patted his knee.

She blatantly ignored him and flipped her blonde hair over her shoulder. She was giving me one of the most evil looks I had ever had directed at me. Not the most evil but definitely in my top 10.

"Can I help?" I asked with a polite smile, mildly annoyed that she had interrupted our conversation.

"You think you're such hot shit, don't you?" her voice was shrill and forced.

"I do in this dress," I chuckled and stood up to show her, still holding my drink in my left hand.

Her pretty blue eyes narrowed at me and she sneered a laugh back at me. I realised that she was not here to make friends. I noticed that when I stood up, so had my boys and she was looking between them and me warily. Gemma and Clay were also looking my way. This was going to turn into a catfight if I wasn't careful, I thought. There hadn't been one all night and Gemma had told me there was always at least one during the party and the guys seemed to enjoy and anticipate them. I wasn't much of a fighter but I could hold my own if worst came to worst.

"Who do you think you are? You have been hogging these guys all night, the other girls don't even

want to come near this table." She said, still in that forced tone of voice.

"I'm not stopping them. They can come over if they want. I know Tig has been gagging for some action all night," I said and gestured behind me, I was worried he would be offended then realised who I was talking about and the worry went away.

"You need to leave."

"You're just jealous that they actually like me for who I am, not just because I suck their dicks for free." I laughed; drawing more attention to what was happening over at the table.

I heard a surprised laugh come from Juice and I smiled.

"At least I don't make them pay me. I heard you've been paid for sex," she looked smug and poked me in the shoulder with her cheap looking acrylic nail.

I leant back on the table and put my wine glass down before resting my hands behind me.

"Well," I shrugged, "you know what they say; if you're good at something you should never do it for free."

I smirked when her mouth opened and closed wordlessly. Chibs had come to stand beside me now, but didn't say anything. i stood back up and folded my arms across my chest and raised my eyebrows; waiting, waiting… waiting for a response from her but there was nothing. I was about to tell her how bored I was with our conversation when she finally got a brain and responded.

"You don't want to cross me," she said and put her hand on her jutted out hip, "I'm dangerous."

I snickered at her weak ass response and stepped towards her, enjoying the fact that she seemed decently threatened by me and took a couple of steps back.

"And you think I'm not?"

"Oh please, honey, you're new to this. Leave pleasing the club to the experts. They don't want to _talk;_ they don't want to _pay_ for sex. Just please them and leave."

"Wait. Wait. Wait. What do you think I am?" I asked her as I tilted my head to one side.

I had walked towards her and she was still walking backwards but I stopped us in the middle of the bar for maximum attention. If they wanted something to watch then I was going to give it to them. This would either be a wonderful victory and I would prove that Clay Morrow's daughter was as tough as him, or I would look like a complete idiot. It could really only go one of two ways. I put my hands on my hips as I studied her. I had realised immediately that she thought that I was a Crow Eater. I wasn't offended, like I said they made their own decisions and there's nothing wrong with what they were doing, but I wasn't a Crow Eater.

"You're the new girl, right?" her voice had gone even higher at the end.

She had obviously realised too late that she had made a mistake. Her eyes flickered around the room nervously at our growing audience. I almost felt sorry for her. Almost.

"No, sweetheart," I shook my head at her, my voice going more and more British the more I spoke to her, "I'm not one of your girls. I'm _their_ girl. I am Vivania Teller-Morrow. I'm Clay's daughter."

She did her dead fish impression again.

"You used all of your vocabulary already?"

She clearly decided that she wasn't going down without a fight, even if she had picked a fight with the wrong girl, she wasn't going to lie down and apologise. This was evident by the glass of beer that was thrown in my face. I shut my eyes tightly against the attack and let out a breath of laughter in disbelief. I guess she did have a set of balls after all. I looked back up at her with a smile. This is what I wanted just a bit of fun. She suddenly looked scared.

"Filip, darling," I said and turned to him, "may I borrow this? Thank you."

I took his whiskey glass from his hands, walked up to her and pulled out the top of her spandex dress before tipping the alcohol and ice down her front. I let go of the dress and it pinged back so the ice hit the sensitive skin of her chest and stomach fast. She gasped loudly and staggered back in shock. The fire in her eyes made me step back once but when she shrieked and charged at me, with her hands out in a motion that looked like she was going to strangle me, I stepped to the side last minute. I stuck my foot out so that she went flying to the ground like a sack of shit.

There was a collective 'oof' from the people in the bar as she fell to the ground. I had almost tripped backwards over my heels when she hit my foot but Chibs had stepped behind me so that my back had collided with his chest instead of the hard wooden floor. I was acutely aware of his warm hands on my bare shoulders and his thumbs moving softly over the skin at the nape of my neck.

I blamed my hitched breathing on the excitement of the fight and definitely not on his hands working small gentle circles in my skin and his soft breathing on my neck or the fact that he was closer to me than he had ever been before.

"Honey, the only person you are a danger too, is yourself so take your $2 hair extensions and black market nose job and get out. You're not impressing anybody and you've made us both look stupid."

She staggered to her feet and looked like she was going to come at me again but noticed Chibs stood so close to me and thought better of it. She opened her mouth to speak but I cut her off, I wasn't having fun anymore, I was just getting annoyed.

"You picked a fight. You lost. Get over it and leave before you get a 6 inch stiletto heel through those sandbags you call tits."

The audience I had gathered was still until the doors closed behind her. When she had finally left everybody erupted in laughter and cheers, congratulating me for winning my first fight, telling me that anyone will think twice about picking a fight with me. I laughed with them and thanked everybody.

His hands were still on my shoulders. Once everyone had turned back to what they were doing I looked up at him and saw that he was already looking down at me with a slight smile on his face an humour in his dark eyes.

"I owe you a drink," I said quietly, suddenly nervous, "I spilled yours."

I went to step away but his hands slipped from my shoulders to my upper arms and then to down to the inside of my elbows. He let me go so far then pulled me back by my arms against his chest. My breathing hitched and I prayed he wouldn't notice my heart speed up.

"You give me your mark and well call it even," he murmured into my ear in a voice that made a shiver go down my spine.

I turned my head and went to lift my hand to his face but he held my arms firmly to his stomach and bent down so his face was next to mine. I pressed my lips to his cheek, leaving the lipstick mark that was becoming like a patch of its own. After I had kissed him, he didn't move away and I didn't turn my head back. I let my lips graze over his skin as I spoke again.

"I guess I just won my first fight, huh?" I asked him, trying so desperately to ignore my rapidly beating heart and keep my voice at a reasonable level but failing miserably to stop the blush that was creeping up my neck.

"Wiped the fucking floor with her. I guess you're not the sweet girl you make yourself out to be."

"I never said I was a good girl." I lowered my voice to the same almost seductive tone that his was at, "but I still feel bad about throwing your drink down her dress. Come on."

This time when I went to move away from him he let me. I was thankful that he let me go; I was worried I was going to do something stupid of he hadn't. I looked down at my arms as I walked to the bar and saw faint pink marks where he had held me but they were fading. He had never been like that with me before.

Obviously he had touched me but I had never had that reaction before. The past few times he had touched me I felt safe and comforted but there was something about how he spoke that affected me. I wondered what I had done that made him like that. Perhaps it was my verbal joust with that girl, or maybe it was this dress. It could also be because he was drunk and his inhibitions had lowered. Most likely the latter.

He did as he was told and followed behind me to the bar. People moved out of my way as I made my way through the crowd. Some people, including Kimbra and her friends, patted me on the shoulder with cheerful drunk faces.

At the bar, I got served immediately and the lady serving gave me the drinks on the house. I could get used to this kind of treatment; perhaps I should win fights more often. I stood sipping my drink with Chibs as we watched the party carry on. Tig had finally got some girls to go over to him, one of them was Livia. He was about to burst when 'Cindi-Jo' had come over, bless him.

"You might want to take that off your face if you want some action," I said to Chibs and pointed at Juice desperately trying to get the lipstick off of his face.

"Not feeling it tonight," he replied with a shrug, "I don't feel like I can leave you alone now. You might chase out all of the Crow Eaters."

I laughed and he looked back down at me. He might not have been feeling it but I definitely was, especially after his little stunt. Christ I'm so sexually frustrated. Thankfully, Clay came over to me at just the right time because I was about to tell Chibs I was getting horny, drunk Vivania seemed to like oversharing.

"Proud of you Pumpkin," Clay said gently and gave me an awkward side hug that I returned just as awkwardly.

"Thanks Clay. I knew girls like that back at school, you just have to handle them carefully."

"I wanted to give you this earlier but you disappeared."

I looked between him and Chibs. There seemed to be a silent exchange going on, Clay looking pissed off and Chibs looking calm. I patted Clay on the arm; breaking his gaze on the other man. He pulled a brown envelope out of his kutte and handed it to me. When I looked inside I gasped and had to put my wine down. Inside the envelope was a big fucking stack of green notes. I looked up at him in shock, my mouth gaped open; I had no words.

"There is $20,000 in there. I was thinking you might want to get your own place soon. Your Russian guys and some Italians have paid their first order. These guys have already had their money."

"But… I'm not even part of the club."

I passed it back over to him but he pushed the envelope back. He told me that Jax had taken the notion of me receiving a payment for at least the first payments since it was my idea and I had put some work into getting the deals done. They passed the notion unanimously and I was going to get a small percentage of the first payments from all of the groups. I could have cried.

"Clay…"

"Just keep it. You did good kid, we're all proud of you."

I looked down at the money and laughed in disbelief. I didn't know where I was going to put it since I had zero pockets in this dress. I was still shaking my head when Jax came over with his hands in his pockets and head ducked down so could look at me. I immediately lurched forwards and hugged him tightly, thanking him profusely. He had wrapped one arm around my waist and hugged me back.

"S'ok cousin. Don't mention it. Thank the other guys later though yeah? They passed the vote. They like you."

I nodded and stepped back with a grin. I looked around at Chibs and he stopped his exchange with Clay to look down at me instantly. I showed him the money with wide eyes but he nodded with his eyebrows raised, almost patronising but not quite, and put his hand on my shoulder to shake me slightly. I just couldn't believe it.

When the party had finally calmed down it was around 3am. I had spent a lot of the night chatting to Kimbra and Cinnamon while Tig and Livia all but fucking in their booth. Chibs was still standing with me and joining in the conversation. His hand brushed over my back every now and again, making me shiver every time it did. He had noticed this quickly and so kept doing it. I made a mental note to not tease them all quite so much. It was hell.

"I'm living with Gemma and Clay right now," I said in answer to Kimbra's question, "but I'm hoping to get my own place soon."

"Yeah, yeah totally! You need your own space; it's hard to bring guys back when you're living with your parents, you know?" she nodded enthusiastically, "if you need help looking I'm a realtor, I can get you a good place for a nice price. I know all the good spots in town."

"That's amazing," I laughed at her comment on bringing guys back, although I had been thinking the same thing, "I'll make sure to give you a call tomorrow."

"Oh my god, meet me at like, 10:30. We can go for brunch and I can show you around and stuff. You wanna bring your old man?"

"No, Clay will be at-"

"Not your dad! Oh my god! Your _old man_." She gestured to Chibs, looking at him like she couldn't believe I had forgotten about him and he laughed.

"'Old man' is like slang for your dad in England," Chibs explained to her and the realisation dawned on her face, "and she's not my old lady."

"Who are you calling old? I'm only 25."

He looked at me and laughed, I was scowling at him but his laugh softened my expression slightly. Kimbra had folded her arms and raised an eyebrow as she watched our exchange.

"You sure?" she asked then rolled her eyes when he nodded, "I'm going to give you a lesson on this biker slang tomorrow since you seem completely clueless! Honestly, kids these days huh? Oh my god, meet me here at 10:30 tomorrow morning and I'll drive us into town yeah? I'll write you in my appointment book so work think its business and I'll get paid, ok? You don't mind if I take advantage right?"

"No! God, no! You get your money."

"Thanks."

She whipped her phone out of her bra and started tapping a few things into it before smiling in satisfaction and putting it back snuggly; sorting out her boobs so they sat nicely again. I chuckled as she pulled them up so shamelessly. I had decided quickly that I liked her and knew we would probably become friends.

"So, I'll see you both tomorrow?" she asked as she smoothed out her dress.

"I'm working," Chibs stated, "thanks though. I trust you'll take care of her."

"Duh, it's my job! I can't let the president's kid get hurt! I'm not stupid.

We laughed with her and I hugged her goodbye before she left. I sighed as the door closed behind her; thankful for the possibility of having a female friend. Don't get me wrong, I loved hanging out with Gemma but I know she liked her space and to have private time with Clay so having me around would be getting tedious for her before long. Kimbra and her friends were most definitely 'party girls' so I imagine my social life will be getting more exciting. I love my boys, of course, but I don't think I could drag Tig and Chibs to a nightclub. Juice might enjoy it though.

"You ok, Sweet Girl?" I heard Chibs ask.

"Hm?" I asked when I realised he had been talking to me, "Yeah. Just happy to have a girl friend, that's all."

"Yeah. She's a nice girl, friendly. She doesn't do much sleeping around but she's fun to have around."

I'm not sure why I felt stung when he said that about her but I ignored the pang of jealousy that had started to build in my stomach. I looked around and noticed that Gemma and Clay had disappeared, looks like I'm ringing a taxi to take me back.

"Thanks for looking out for me tonight, you've been a gem," I said as I turned to face him.

"Anytime," he said with an easy smile, "it's good to see you having fun for once."

 **Is it hot in here or is it just me?** This is a pretty nothing kind of chapter but it was fun to write. I got fed up of her being all professional and stuff. She had a bad reputation when she was in school so I thought she should justify it with a good old bitchfest coupled with a mildly turned on Chibs. I have a feeling he would have definitely notices her even more after she had just sent another girl flying.

Also, he said the thing! He called her sweet girl. I wanted her to have a female friend to go out with and not replace Anya but fill the void that she left. Are you following?

I'm not actually sure if people read this but if you do, you're the real MVP.

Love, Doe xx


	8. Chapter 7 - Whiplash

**I'M SORRY-** I've written a note at the bottom that's kind of important that I desperately need feedback on. I have a SOA and writing themed Tumblr now called **megalodonewithyourbullshit,** if you have one drop me a message on there or just add a thing at the end.

Thanks.

(I NEED YOUR ADVICE – shall we go for a slow burn romance or hot and heavy and secret? I have a feeling Clay wouldn't be too impressed with one of the guys being with our lovely Vee. Please let me know what you think because I'm stuck and have material written out for both)

Chapter 7 – Whiplash

Kimbra was a breath of fresh air. When we had met up she had run over and hugged me with a cheerful greeting. She looked completely different to how she did the night before. Her auburn hair was piled up in a messy bun on top of her head; she was wearing no makeup and showing her freckles. She was wearing jeans and a flannel shirt over a white tank top with some sandals. It was almost hard to recognise her.

"Wow," she said to me as she stood back, "you're beautiful."

"Stop," I said to her, "so are you! You look so different!"

"You too, I've seen you strutting about TM in your heels and stuff; you look cute in jeans."

When we had stopped complimenting each other she led me into a cute little café. We ordered coffee and bagels. It was nice just sitting and chatting. We didn't talk about the club or business deals or anything serious. The most serious we got was talking about my dream apartment or house and even then she joked about having various BDSM furniture in there. I was in hysterics laughing at her and she could barely reply for laughing at her own jokes.

"I doubt Gemma and Clay would want to come over for dinner if they knew I had a sex swing in my living room," I chuckled to her, ignoring the glares we were getting from some older people in the corner.

"No, but Chibs might."

"Excuse me?"

She looked at me with a raised eyebrow and I knew exactly what she was talking about. The way he had been last night was so different to how he usually was with me; I expected that from Tig but never Chibs.

"Come on, don't play coy with me. I saw how you were looking at him, miss goo goo eyes!"

She dramatically clasped her hands together and batted her eyelashes. I threw a sugar packet at her and shook my head.

"I had drunk _so_ much wine, Kimbra, and Filip was full of whiskey. It was just drunk people being drunk. Don't read too much into it."

"Oh, its Filip now is it? You were knocking back the wine but he only had about 3 drinks. I know; I was watching you."

I called her a creep and sat back with my arms folded and my lips pursed but I couldn't help but think about it. If he hadn't been drunk then why was he acting like that? Just to get me back for how I was, I imagined.

We had stopped off at her office so she could pick up the keys for a couple of places for me to look at. As we drove around the town she taught me all the different sayings and terms of the club. Only the Sons of Anarchy had crow eaters, most of the girls wanted to become old ladies to club members. An old lady is like a girlfriend or wife of club members. That's what she thought I was to Chibs. I had blushed when I found this out.

"This one is my favourite," she said as we pulled up to a cute little house, "you've got a garage, a kitchen-diner and a really spacious bedroom. It's only a one bedroom but the neighbourhood is good, quiet, you know? You can decorate how you want too; the landlord isn't particularly picky about you redecorating. You wanna go inside?"

I nodded enthusiastically. It had a small garden out the front next to the drive way with a little patch of flowers in front of the little porch that led up to the front door. Kimbra parked up and led me up the steps to the porch and through the front door. Inside it was really big but I think that might have been because there was no furniture. The walls were plain white with holes in the walls where the previous owners had hung pictures. The floors were a shiny light wood all over from where the living room would be towards the kitchen and the door that I assumed lead to the garage.

She told me to look around. It was by far the best property I had seen all day. It was so bright and airy. Upstairs was just as bright with big windows in the bedroom that looked over the back garden. I smiled when I saw the fresh green lawn and patio. It was small but if it was just going to me then it didn't matter. I knew instantly that I wanted this one. I had never had a place of my own to call home before; in the school I had shared accommodation during the younger years then had to change rooms every new school year from college onwards. At the house where my mother lived with Michael the room that I slept in doubled as a storage closet for all of her clothes and shoes. The bedroom that I had at Gemma's was always going to be a temporary thing. I was excited and anticipated the concept of a place to call my own.

"So?" I heard Kimbra say.

I gasped and jumped. My hand flew over my heart as I whipped around to look at her. She laughed and apologised but looked at me with hopeful eyes.

"I love it, Kimbra, I really love it."

"I knew you would! Oh my god! We'd be neighbours! We live just 2 doors down!"

"With who?"

"Cinnamon and Livia, we live at number 86 just up the road."

Now I was getting really excited. This meant that I would not only have some friends that weren't all business minded, I would have friends that lived nearby. This would mean girls nights, drinking and good times finally. She told me she would speak to the landlord about how much he would charge me a month, the same guy she rented her property from. I waited anxiously for the phone call to end; pacing back and forth across the patio. It was all positive sounding but I didn't want to listen to closely just in case it was bad news. I had been flung out of my thoughts when she grabbed my arms and shook me as she squealed.

"Oh my god! We're going to be neighbours!" she screeched and hugged me really tightly.

I rang Gemma from Kimbra's phone and told her the good news. I had also asked if I could use her kitchen to make something to thank the guys for letting me take a cut of the profits. She sounded pleased at that and agreed, telling me that they would appreciate that.

Kimbra gave me a ride to the grocery store so I could buy all the stuff I needed for some cakes and treats before returning to Gemma and Clay's place to make a start. Kimbra helped me with some of the stuff but, as she had confessed, she was terrible at baking so she mostly just mixed stuff up and took stuff out of the oven to put on the cooling racks.

Once everything had been cleared up and cleaned we had fun with decorating all the different things we had made before putting them in Tupperware containers and loading them back up in her car to take them all to TM. I had it sorted the food out equally between boxes so that they all had their own box with their names on. I thought that would be a cute touch. I also made smaller boxed up for Jax and Opie's children.

When we arrived a mechanic told us that the guys were all in church so we had some time to kill before I could present them with all of the food. I let him have a vanilla cupcake and a couple of cookies when I saw him looking in the trunk of Kimbra's car.

By the time their meeting was over, the sun was lower in the sky so Kimbra and I lay down side by side on top of one of the picnic tables catching the last few rays of sun before it went away completely. We were talking about how I was going to furnish my new place and if I was going to paint.

" _Good evening Princess."_

I sat up to see Nikolai stood at our feet smiling at us both. His hippie van was parked up a little way off being looked at by the same mechanic as before. I ran my fingers through my hair and straightened out my shirt.

" _Nikolai? What are you doing here?"_ I asked him and smiled back.

Kimbra was looking between us with a raised eyebrow.

" _The van needs work doing and I thought that since we are associates I should come and get it done here. Is that a problem?"_

" _Of course not!"_

I tossed my hair over my shoulder and looked around to see Jax talking with Chibs and Opie by the entrance to the bar. Jax looked amused with his arms folded and his head tilted back but when Chibs saw me waving he turned and walked away. Talk about emotional whiplash.

I ignored the sinking feeling in my stomach and waved to Jax and Opie, telling them to come over.

They did that man nod to Nikolai and exchanged greetings with Kimbra as I brought out a stack of Tupperware boxes for them to look through. They shouted the rest of the guys and they descended on me like vultures. I thanked them all profusely when I gave them their snack boxes, hugging them tightly. I had only one left by the end.

"I'll be back in a minute," I told Kimbra, "I need to go and find Chibs."

She winked at me and popped a cookie she had stolen from Tig in her mouth. I rolled my eyes but walked in the direction he went. I found him working under a car. I poked his leg with my foot and put his box on his stomach before perching on the tool trolley to wait. He laid working under the car for a while until curiosity must have got the better of him and he wheeled himself out. He didn't look at me, just picked the box up off his belly and sat up. I saw him smile slightly when he looked at his name written on the top. He tapped it with his finger and finally looked up at me. I hadn't seen him in his mechanic uniform much before; it was strange seeing him in something that wasn't black and leather. His hair had flopped into his face and he pushed it back; streaking the grey at his roots with car oil.

"I know you liked my chocolate cake," I said after a long moment of looking at him, "so I gave you a couple of extra slices."

He drummed his fingers over the top of the box and stood up to put his tools back on the trolley before seeing that I was sat on it. It didn't stop him however and he came over, closer to me than he needed to, too pull out a drawer under my leg to put the tools away. His hand grazed the back of my thigh slightly and I bit the inside of my lip.

"You're sweet," he said finally, "thank you."

Then he put his hand on the back of my head, leaning even closer and kissing my forehead. I closed my eyes and smiled, letting out a small sigh. He beard tickled my face as his lips lingered on my skin. My hands tightened their grip on the handles of the trolley and he stepped back again but still stayed close. He was looking at me with a really soft expression, fondness, I recognised. Anya used to look at me like that sometimes.

"That Russian guy is here. Why? He lives across the other side of town," he said with a forced sense of casualness as he opened the box to look through the different things I had put in there, "it would be easier if he took his shitty car to Big Mike's."

I tilted my head to the side with a smirk as he wiggled his fingers over the food while he decided what to have before picking out the chocolate cake and taking a bite. He was avoiding my gaze but then looked up when I hadn't spoken. There was frosting in his beard and I bit back my laughter.

"He is supporting his business associates," I told him with a shrug, "that's all. He's a nice guy Filip."

"How is he going to tell us what is wrong with it?"

"He can speak English. He just chose not too in that meeting." I explained and he rolled his eyes.

I laughed and poked him with my foot again before hopping off the trolley and telling him to stop being so damn antisocial and come and join us in the bar. He followed me back to where I had left Kimbra and Nikolai. The latter was talking on his phone where he stood against his van and Kimbra was lying down on the table again, chatting to the other guys. Chibs saw Nikolai and I could feel him glaring over my shoulder.

"Where did you get off too?" Kimbra asked me as I came closer.

"Chibs needed his thank you too," I said and lay down beside her.

"Uh huh…"

I looked to the side at her. She was looking at me with a smug smile and a wrinkled nose. I heard Nikolai speaking to someone in English. I looked over and saw Chibs and Jax speaking to him. I tapped Kimbra and pointed at them. We leant up on our elbows to watch the exchange. Nikolai looked concerned but not at what they guys were saying but more about what he was saying. I frowned. Jax rubbed down his face and nodded at Nikolai. Chibs laughed but it wasn't a happy laugh, more cynical and bitter. It caught the attention of a few of the other guys who walked over to them; making Nikolai look more uncomfortable than he already appeared to me. I sat up properly now. What was going on? Juice leant against the table beside me chewing on something.

"Don't make yourself sick, Juan. I made that to last you at least two days. What are they saying?" I asked him, "What's happened?"

"Sorry Vee, club business. You can't know."

"What do you mean I can't know? I'm the one-"

"Just the way it is, Babe," Kimbra said with a shrug, "girls don't get to become part of the club. We can't know their business, whether you helped them or not. Not even old ladies are that involved with it."

I crossed my arms as Jax glanced over at me. As if reading my mind he shook his head. That was the most sexist bullshit I ever heard. I scowled at him but he turned back to Nikolai who was now having an apparently heated discussion with Chibs. Nikolai then gestured at me angrily before throwing his arms up, barging past the guys towards me. I looked at him, concerned but then he came right over, put his hands on either side of me on the table and leant in to speak to me quietly. I was frozen, eyes wide.

" _Call me, when your guard dog isn't here."_

" _Guard dog…"_

" _Look over your shoulder at all times, Princess, people want you."_

He was suddenly wrenched away from me by Juice who was pushing him back towards his van. I stood up, following them quickly and asking him in Russian what he meant. Who wanted me? I assumed the Warrens, but why? He didn't reply, just pushed Juice's hands away from him only to have them replaced by Chibs grabbing him the scruff of his neck as he was frog marched to his van.

" _Whats going on? Nikolai? What do they want? Why do they want me?"_

" _The Warrens. You're not safe even with your family. They know what you have done. They ratted."_

I took hold of Chibs' arm, almost hanging off it as I tried to stop them.

" _Stop! Filip let him talk. I need to know. Jax, tell me what it is!"_

I didn't even realise I was still speaking to them in Russian. They had heard their names but didn't know what I said. Jax turned his head to me and took me away from the situation as Chibs threw Nikolai into the driver's seat of the van. Nikolai gave me a pointed look that I took to mean I was to call him later. I nodded and wrenched my arm away from my cousin's grip. When Chibs turned back towards me he was angry but it wasn't directed at me.

"What the fuck was that?" I shouted at them all, "and if you give me any kind of 'club business' bullshit I am going to take every single one of those fucking boxes back."

I saw Happy slide his box into his kutte before he fixed me with a cold gaze. I looked between them all and they said nothing.

"Right."

I whipped around and stormed towards the office, slamming the door open and rooting through the filing cabinet; looking for that contract with his number on the bottom. I hadn't used the number because I didn't have a phone but now I had a friend with a phone that I could use. I huffed as I looked through the unorganised filing cabinet, making a mental note to go through and organise it later. My hands were shaking and I didn't know why.

"What are you doing?"

It was Chibs. I ignored him and carried on looking through the cabinet; closing the top drawer and bending down to look in the second one.

" _Mo chailín milis."_

I froze. He wasn't speaking English. I knelt down by the drawer and looked up at him, confused but also intrigued.

"What are you doing?" He asked again once he had my attention.

"If nobody out there will tell me what is going on, after everything, I will call Nikolai and ask him."

"His van wasn't broken. He came to see you."

"Why is that a problem?"

His jaw clenched and he crossed his arms over his chest only to immediately uncross them and put them at his side with a sigh. His eyes never left me and mine never left him but when he couldn't come up with an answer I turned back to the drawer to start rooting around through, pulling out different papers and looking at every piece of paper until I found the right one. I hadn't heard him leave so I assumed, rightly so, that he was still stood in the doorway. I heard him close the door and step in as I closed the second drawer and opened the third one without looking at him.

"Is tú mo chailín milis," he said softly, in that language again.

" _I don't know what that means."_ I told him in Russian and then looking at an order list from 3 years ago and putting it back in the drawer, "Two can play at that game _."_

He chuckled quietly.

"Well? Why is him coming to see me such an issue?" I asked and stood up to go and search the desk.

"He isn't a good guy, Vivania," he said after a while, "his group is dangerous."

"You know they're peaceful protestors, right?" he rolled his eyes when I defended him, "And you aren't dangerous?"

"Not to you."

I had finally found the contract in a folder on the desk with a shopping list and a porn magazine. I made a face as I picked the magazine up with my thumb and forefinger and threw it in the bin. I held the contract up to show him the number scrawled on the bottom.

"You can either tell me what has happened, or I can ring Nikolai and he can tell me."

"I can't, Sweet Girl; club rules." He shook his head slowly and I sighed, going to push past him but he caught my upper arm before I could open the door. I swallowed and looked up at him. Chibs looked like he was about to say something but the door swung open and he dropped my arm and stepped away from me quicker than I had ever seen him move. Jax looked between us with a smirk then looked down at the paper in my hand. He went down to grab it but I snatched it away.

"Tell me." I demanded.

"I _can't_ , Vee."

"Nikolai said somebody ratted you out. He said the Warrens know."

Jax looked conflicted and then looked up to Chibs.

"If you tell your dad…"

"I won't Jax, I promise."

"Sit down and don't say anything until I'm finished."

I did as I was told, for once, and sat up on the desk.

What Nikolai had told me was true. It wasn't any of the organisations we had made deals with though; it was the ones that we couldn't get to meet with. One group, the Nazi's, mentioned during a trade that they had been contacted by a woman with a British accent on behalf of TM to talk about making a deal. In turn, the Warrens spoke to the other people on their depleting client list and put two and two together as to what the Sons of Anarchy were doing.

They had made threats to their previous clients to come back or else but then Nikolai had overheard them talking about their plan to get me and use me to convince Clay to cease his actions. They had spoken about Michael and that he was coming to the US with my mother. Nikolai hadn't just come to see me, he came to warn me. At the mention of my parents my chest constricted and my breathing went shallow. I shook my head quickly.

"No," I said in a strangled, panicked voice, "you won't let them, right Jax?"

"You know we won't Vee. I'm not letting them take you away from us again," Jax sighed and cupped my face in his hands and squished my cheeks until I pulled away with a laugh, "you're safe with us. We'll kill anyone that tries to come near you. Kimbra told us about your new place. You can still move out. You don't need to be scared."

"I'm not scared." A blatant lie.

"No, I know. You just need to be careful. If you need anything, you call one of the guys and we'll be there. Even if it's a spider in your bathtub, ok?"

"Ok. Looks like I should get a phone then."

Jax nodded, patted me on the shoulder and turned to leave with a final glance at Chibs, with a knowing nod. He didn't move once the door had shut again. He looked at me and I looked at him.

He came over to me and tucked some hair behind my ear while holding my chin in his other hand, looking over my face and all I could think about was kissing him, despite the news I had just had.

"Mo chailín milis," he said again.

"What does that mean?"

He just smiled mischievously and kissed my forehead again as his rough hands rested against my neck gently. My eyes fluttered closed and I covered his hands with mine. I felt comforted by his presence and his touch unlike last night when I was just about ready to jump his bones. I felt safe with him despite my previous comments about him being dangerous. I knew he wouldn't do anything that would hurt me. I had never even thought that he or the other guys in the crew would but that didn't mean they weren't bad guys.

 **I NEED YOUR ADVICE –** shall we go for a slow burn romance or hot and heavy and secret? I have a feeling Clay wouldn't be too impressed with one of the guys being with our lovely Vee. Please let me know what you think because I'm stuck and have material written out for both.

 **Fluff bitch.** Fluff, fluff, fluff. Everyone who is here for a jealous, protective and loving Chibs raise your fucking hand. Because I am. I had to use google translate for the Gaelic, despite not wanting too. since its from her perspective and she doesn't know the language I didn't want to use my italics situation.

Also, her moving out is something that will make her life a lot easier and happier, if she didn't have the constant fear of her stepdad on her back now.

Are we ready for some parental drama too?

Thanks,

Love, Doe xx


	9. Chapter 8 - Come Back To Me

Chapter 8 – come back to me

"Wait!" I called after the guys as they suited up, "don't go yet!"

They all looked up at me as I jogged over to them with the four rucksacks in my arms. Jax grinned when I handed him the one with his name on. He opened it and rooted through the contents as I handed the other guys theirs. In each bag I had packed them; sandwiches to last at least 2 days, loads of cookies, a flask of coffee, 4 bottles of water, 2 boxes of condoms and a travel sized toothbrush and toothpaste. I just hoped that it was enough for their run. They had assured me that they would be back within a couple of weeks but that didn't stop me from being entirely selfish and wanting them to stay with me. When Jax had told me that he and my boys were going to be "taking care of business" in Nevada I had felt my heart sink but knew that nothing I said would make them stay; the club comes first.

"What is all this Vee?" Tig asked in amazement, "Did you make all of this for us?"

"Yeah," I shrugged but smiled at how pleased they seemed, "I need to make sure my boys are taken care of while they are away, right?"

"Did you make bread?" Juice asked as he nibbled on the corner of a turkey sandwich.

"Stop eating it, Juan!" I scolded firmly and he put the sandwich back in the cooler, "but yes, I made everything in there. It should last you until you get there if you don't eat it all in one go."

"Do you wanna marry me?"

I laughed at his comment but told him I wasn't really the marrying kind of girl but if he ever wanted to come round for his dinner he would be more than welcome. I had extended that out to all of the guys though and at least 3 times a week I had one or more of the Sons of Anarchy guys coming around for their food, much to the disapproval of my new neighbours. Every time a motorcycle was heard down the road the man across the road, Mr Crabb, would twitch his curtains and look out with a scowl. I didn't care though; I was happy that they enjoyed my cooking and it stopped me from feeling lonely when I was in my new house by myself. I always made extra just in case somebody dropped by.

Once they had all slung their packs on their backs I hugged them all tightly. I was doing well not to cry until I got to Jax and I started to crumble. He let me bury my face in his hoodie and patted me on the top of the head with a laugh. I cursed myself angrily for letting them see my tears.

"Come on now Darlin'," he drawled easily as he pushed me away slightly, "you're gonna make me cry."

I looked up at him and nodded as I wiped away the stray tears on my cheeks before the others could see them. I laughed when he quivered his lip mockingly. He patted me on the head again, thanked me for the food for them all as Chibs slung an arm around my shoulder to then pull me against his chest.

"You had better come back to me, Filip Telford," I murmured to him.

"I will, I promise." He mumbled against my hair.

Then, louder so the others could hear me too I said, "I want all my boys coming home in one piece, do you understand?"

"Yes ma'am," he said to me which was echoed by the other men.

"Right," I huffed and pushed away from him and discreetly wiping away more tears, "on your bikes. The sooner you go, the sooner you come back, right?"

"Yes ma'am." They said again.

I laughed and stepped back next to Gemma and Tara by the office. Tara handed me Abel to cuddle as she jokingly chastised me about being too soft on them. I kissed the young boy on the head and made a face to make him laugh as we waved the boys off. I encouraged Abel to wave off his dad and he did so in possibly one of the most adorable way possible. I laughed at his cute little awkward wave and Jax's mimicking wave back. I cuddled Abel closer and bounced slightly as unease flooded my body. I had had an iffy feeling all week since I had found out that they were going on this "business run". Perhaps it's because I knew that business included guns and killing people.

"Now, Vee," Gemma said, turning to me, "I know you have been itching to get your hands on that damn office."

I turned to her with a hopeful and excited expression. She was holding out a set of keys to me. I laughed and grabbed them with my free hand and jingled them in front of Abel who seemed just as excited about them as me.

"Look what Auntie Vee has got Abel," I cheered, "we're going to get that office so clean and sparkly for when your daddy gets back!"

Tara laughed and said she should take him back before I get carried away with tidying. I agreed and almost skipped to the office to get stuck in. I had been banned from going anywhere near the office for nearly 3 weeks since I "pulled that stupid, fucking stunt" when I stormed the office for Nikolai's number.

Clay didn't find out that I knew about the situation with the Warrens, only that Nikolai had spoken to me; Jax and Chibs would have been in a lot of trouble if Clay found out that they had told me some club business. This didn't stop me from getting a good talking to by multiple members of the club though. I had sat in the bar pouting with my arms and legs crossed as they took it in turns to tell me the dangers of getting into a personal relationship with people from, not only different criminal organisations but associates of SOA as well. I sighed, scoffed and rolled my eyes like a rebellious teenager but was secretly enjoying the fact that so many people cared enough to look out for me like that. I think my favourite telling off was from Happy who had knelt on one knee in front of me and glared silently until he told me, in an overly serious tone, that Nikolai wasn't good enough for my cookies. I had laughed at him but thanked him for the compliment and love life advice. I was told that if I did it again there would be "serious consequences, Lass".

While I sorted out those filing cabinets I had come across the contract with Nikolai's number on. I entered it into my phone after a moment's thought before filing it away with the other contracts. I knew I shouldn't have and if any of them found out that I was even thinking about getting into contact with him I would be in a lot of trouble. I told myself that I was an adult though, and I can make my own decisions; they are not my collective parents and I can look after myself. Despite what they say, I didn't believe that Nikolai was a bad person. How bad could someone that does peaceful protests be? Not very, I bet.

While I was cleaning out the drawers of the desk I found a bunch of old pictures. I smiled when I saw a photograph of myself as a child stood with teenage versions of Jax and Opie. I looked through them all with a soft smile on my face the whole time. They were taken on the day of Jax's 14th birthday. I was so blonde back then with a gap where my front teeth used to be. I laughed slightly at one of my and Jax sat at a kiddies table covered with cake.

"I had forgotten about that," I jumped when I heard Clay's voice, "you had fun. Your mom got drunk."

"She always got drunk," I sneered bitterly, "nothing changed much since then."

"You've done good in here."

I looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. There were papers scattered over the office while I was mid-sort out. I pointed at a stack of papers on the desk and told him to look through to see if he needed to keep them but he waved his hand nonchalantly saying that I could just throw them away or burn them. I just slid them into the large bin bag I had on hand. I was thankful that I had already got Nikolai's number saved; I would have had no chance to do it with Clay sat with me. I had found it awkward at first but realised that he enjoyed looking through the pictures as much as I did. I told him I wouldn't tell the guys he was being sentimental so I wouldn't ruin his hard-ass reputation. He thanked me and stood to put the picture of Jax and I up on the noticeboard while I went back to my cleaning up, telling him what I was doing as I was doing it just to fill the silence.

It didn't matter what I did, I missed my boys. I felt ridiculous. I had only known them for about 2 months but they had become such a big part of my life that it felt strange and lonely not having them around. I had gone from seeing them almost every day of my life to not even speaking to them on the phone. The clubhouse seemed quiet without them and Friday's weren't the same without Chibs; he would always rescue me from sitting alone while my female friends got busy with the SOA guys.

Like clockwork, at 7:30 I heard the sound of a Harley coming up the driveway and I smiled as I took the lasagne out of the oven before going to the door. When I opened it I saw Happy putting the stand down on his bike. Mr Crabb's curtains twitched and I waved when I saw him looking at be then at Happy then back to me. He waved back hesitantly but I knew that he wouldn't close his curtains until well after I had closed my door. Happy wasn't the most affectionate of the guys, that would have to go to Tig, but he was kind in his own way; he would ruffle my hair when he came around for dinner and he was always very complimentary of my food, even going as far to ask to take some food home for his mother. He would always offer to wash everything up while I could sit back and have a glass of wine. He wasn't talkative but just the presence of someone at the table with me was nice.

"I was hoping I would have company this evening," I told him as he ruffled my hair and stepped in.

I gave one final wave to Mr Crabb before I shut the door and followed him into my kitchen. He took his place at the table and waited patiently for me to give him his food. I plated everything up and even put an extra slice of garlic bread on his plate. He thanked me quietly and we ate in silence for a while.

"How's your mum?" I asked him, hoping he wouldn't get to upset.

"Fine. She's good."

"You want to take some of this back for her? I know she liked the last one. You should bring her round one evening; I would love to meet her. Or I could come to yours and make it there? I bet she's fed up of reheating it all, right?"

"She would like that."

Happy gave me a genuine smile and nodded at me. It was sweet how much he cared for his mother and I respected him for that. He did his usual routine of washing up and drying the plates as I packed up a portion of lasagne and salad for his mum when I heard a quiet knock at the door. Happy was automatically on edge but I reassured him that it was probably just another one of the guys who were late for dinner but this did nothing to settle him and he followed me to my door saying he didn't hear a motorcycle. He pushed in front of me to open the door. I had learnt quickly that if Happy Lowman is suspicious then you should be too.

"Who are you?" a gravelly female voice said in a quiet scared manner, "where's Vivania?"

"Who are you?" he asked back as he put his arm up as if to block me from the woman.

I peered under his arm and gasped, "Mother?"

She was stood on my doorstep looking haggard and tired. I looked around the street and my front yard for Michael but he didn't seem to be anywhere. I had put my hand on Happy's arm in more of reassurance than anything else and he didn't move. Jax must have told them about the information that Nikolai had told him because he stood like stone, steely gaze surveying the area.

"Mother? What are you doing here?" I asked with a small tremble in my voice, "where is Michael?"

"Can I come in?"

Her eyes flickered up to Happy again. I nodded and tapped him on the arm, telling him to let her into my house but to _please_ not leave just yet. He stood by the door like a bouncer as I showed my mother into my living room. She looked terrible. She used to be one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen.

Her once honey blonde curls were now greying and piled on top of her head in a messy, matted bun; the pretty turquoise eyes, that I had inherited, were bloodshot and bleary; her skin looked pale and dull with deep lines around her eyes, mouth and down her neck. When her hands reached out to hold mine, I noticed that they were all bony and trembling. I shrunk away from her and put my hands up instinctively to stop her from coming closer.

"Baby…" she cooed at me, "I just want you to come back with me."

I shook my head, "no, Mother."

"Come on darlin' you need to come back to people who care about you."

"I have people that care about me."

She grabbed my hand and I flinched away from her but she held firm. The look in her bloodshot eyes was crazy and frantic. She started mumbling about Clay never caring for me, about everybody being bad.

"Mother stop." I snapped as I wrenched my arm away from her frail hand, "what is wrong with you?!"

"You _need_ to come home. You don't know what he'll do to me if you don't."

I looked at her in disbelief. I knew exactly what he would do to her if she didn't do what he told her too; I had lived through enough of his punishments. She was searching my face frantically with her eyes. I shook my head and took another step away from her. Mother kept repeating I needed to come back with her like a broken record. She was actually scared. I guess Michael had turned to hurting her now that I was out of the country.

Now I had realised this I noticed the bruises around her neck and under her sleeves. Michael was always careful to mark under your clothes so nobody would know. I immediately felt awful.

"I cant go back mama," I whispered and nodded towards Happy, "they keep me safe here. You could be safe too. I'll talk to Clay; he'll understand."

"No Viv. Not after what he did."

"Mama, stay. Clay is-"

"Clay abandoned both of us! How can you even trust a man that abandoned you, left you to grow up alone?!"

"He's making up for it; he paid for my education, he has given me a job, he _saved_ me from Michael's family."

She looked at me and she just looked lost. I knew that feeling so well. I took a hesitant step towards her to take her shaking hands in my own. They were dry and papery. I looked at her imploringly, pleading with her to stay away from Michael.

I didn't understand why she wouldn't jump at the chance to get away from that Michael and his awful family. I could never understand why she had let him hurt me but I think perhaps now I understood that she was scared of him, scared to leave him. It wasn't until later that I was told he was part of this organisation but she would have known since the beginning. She could have left him at the start and saved us both but she didn't.

"Mama, please get away from him."

"It's going to get bad Vivania," she whispered, "it's going to get bad for you whether you come back or not. If you come willingly it won't be as bad. Maybe just a broken arm."

I felt my stomach drop and the blood drain from my face. I dropped her hands like they were on fire. I told her no. I told her that I would never go back with her, not willingly. I told her that no matter how shitty Clay had been, he never used me as a bargaining chip, he never put me in hospital, he never hurt me like she and Michael had done. I took a hesitant step towards Happy who was immediately at my side.

"You should leave." He said sternly as she tried to follow me and he out his hand into his kutte over his gun.

"You cant tell me what to do-"

"Get out, Mother," I almost shrieked.

Not only was I scared of what she was going to do or who she was going to call, I was scared Happy would hurt her too. Mother looked at me, her false expression of hurt and fear fell to reveal one of true anger. That was something I had grown familiar with over the course of my childhood. Her steps to the front door were long and slow, like she wanted to drag out being in my house for longer than she needed to be. Before she left she glanced over her shoulder with a slightly manic smile, warning me one more time that it was going to be bad.

Happy had checked outside to see if she or anyone else was hiding once it had been a few minutes. He was hesitating, saying he didn't think it was a good idea to leave me alone but I convinced him that I would be fine, that his mum was probably hungry and missing him by now.

When he left I had collapsed onto the couch and just stared into space. I couldn't stop the feeling of fear and dread that I felt. I knew this was coming; I had known it for a long time but nothing could prepare me for the conflicting feelings I had when I saw my mother again. I was never greatly fond of my mother, not even before we left the states, but that didn't mean that I wanted to see her get hurt by that man. I knew she would never leave him, deep down I think I was glad. She stood by, drunk, while I had been beaten and hurt by her husband which is just as bad in my opinion. Scared or not, she could have saved me.

After about 10 minutes, I pulled myself together. I didn't cry, in every incarnation of myself, I never cried. I was stronger than that. I found my phone in the kitchen looking for the number of the person I needed the most right now.

"The person you have called is unavailable. Please leave a message after-" the automated voice said on the other end.

"Fucks sake Jax," I huffed and tried again only to get the same result.

I tried more times but the phone rang and he never picked up. I tried Chibs and my boys multiple times but they were all the same. I felt myself getting stressed. I just wanted to talk to someone I could trust then I had an idea. A bad, terrible idea but I needed to speak to someone who knew what was going on.

" _Hello, Princess,"_ he picked up on the first ring, " _it's been a while."_

I sighed when I heard Nikolai's friendly voice on the other end of the phone. I asked him to talk to me, just talk about anything that wasn't to do with the Warrens or the club or his club.

" _Just talk shit,"_ I said in a shaky voice, " _talk about anything."_

He had laughed but did as I wished. He spoke to me about his family and his dogs and his cat. He talked about the trouble he was having with his landlord and slowly but surely I started to feel normal again. I focused on his jovial tone, thankful that he didn't ask what was wrong, and began to put what had just happened at the back of my mind. We spoke for about 2 hours until I could feel my eyes drooping.

" _Do you need me to come over Princess?"_ he asked when I was silent for a while.

" _Please,"_ I whispered, knowing it was a bad idea but feeling so lonely and scared that I didn't care.

" _I am on my way."_

 **I'm back-** guess which fucking chapter didn't want to be written. If you voted this bitch then you are right. I've had this word document open on my computer since I published the last chappie. Ugh the stress I felt.

Do we trust Nikolai or not? Do we think he is a bad guy or are her family just being too careful? We shall see.

I apologise for the short chapter too, I have literally sent texts that are longer than this but hopefully I'll get back into the swing of it after this.

Thanks for reading.

Lots of love,

Doe

xxxx


	10. Chapter 9 - Tighter Than a Nuns Legs

Chapter 9 – Tighter Than a Nun's Legs

Paranoia was setting in around the club. I could feel it in the air whenever I walked into TM and the guys watched me like a hawk. Happy had started coming over almost every night with the excuse of dinner but I knew he was worried about me; he had seen what my mother was like. I was pleased that he cared so much but it made it relatively difficult for me to have any kind of social life.

Nikolai and I had met quite a few times since my mother's visit. I wish I could say that they hadn't ended up in meaningless, rough sex with a very attractive Russian man but I would be lying to you. It wasn't just that though, he took me out for dinner _and_ paid. He talked to me about random stuff that didn't matter and made me feel like a normal woman. It was nice to feel normal for once. That wasn't to say we weren't nearly caught. One evening, Nikolai and I were doing the do and hadn't heard the motorcycles approaching the house. Luckily, he wasn't stupid enough to bring his own car and took a taxi. It killed me having to tell Bobby and Happy that I wasn't feeling well so haven't cooked anything. Even more so when Happy brought me some tea into work the next day.

Clay kept me in the dark about everything that was going on and I threw tantrums almost every time he would tell me I couldn't get involved in club business. I know it was childish and immature but I was getting frustrated about being left out of it all. I didn't want to admit it but I was scared. I had been on edge the entire week and a half since my mother had turned up on my door. As far as I was aware, there had been no other contact with them but, like I said, I was never told anything. Clay had told me to stay away from the club house when they were in church after I was caught listening at the door.

"Vee," Gemma called from the kitchen, "when you've finished laying the table can you come and help with this? I can't get the sauce right."

I straightened out the placemats on the table and let her know I would be right there.

We were having a family dinner this evening since Jax and the boys would be back today. I was trying to hide my excitement but I had been skipping around the house and humming all day as we got everything ready. I hadn't spoken to the guys for almost the entire time they were away, only Chibs when he returned my calls from the first night Nikolai had been at my house. I had lied and told him I was alright but I doubt he believed me.

"Big day today huh?" my aunt laughed as I pranced it into the kitchen, "are you excited?"

"What do you think? I haven't seen Jax or the boys in weeks! I've missed them. What time are they supposed to be home?"

"Anytime now I guess. They are going to speak with Clay to get business out of the way first then they'll all be here." She was silently chopping vegetables for a while before she turned to me with a hand on her hip, "your dad isn't angry with you, you know."

"He treats me like a child, like I can't handle what's going on but I've been through it all already. There is nothing that family can do to me that hasn't already been done. I just want to know what's happening."

"I know it's frustrating but you have got to trust him; he knows what he's doing. And if you don't want to be treated like a child, you should stop acting like one."

Once I had stopped sulking, I was sent upstairs to get ready for dinner. I had brought all the stuff I needed in a bag; Gemma had said I could stay over after dinner since I always drank heavily at them. I was thankful for the concern but had a sneaking suspicion that they just wanted to keep an eye on me.

"They're here Vee! Are you ready?" Gemma called.

There was a cacophony of shouts and talking coming from downstairs. I smiled when I heard Jax and Chibs shouting at Juice for something. I finished tying up my hair and slipped on my shoes before heading downstairs to greet them.

"There's our girl!" I heard Tig shout.

I felt my heart soar when I looked through and saw Jax and Tig stood safe and sound in the dining room with beers and cigarettes in their hands. It was like they had never left. I grinned and walked over to them. I wanted to play it cool and just greet them casually like any other normal person would but I couldn't contain myself when I saw them all. I squealed and ran to Tig who clasped his arms around me and kissed me firmly on the side of the head, telling me enthusiastically that he really enjoyed the food I had packed for them and that the rest of the food that he ate while he was away gave him diarrhoea. I was both flattered and disgusted by his comments. My hair was suddenly ruffled and I looked around to see who was messing up my carefully placed hair. Jax grinned at my scowl. I stopped pretending that I was angry so quickly and went to mess his hair up but he deflected my hands and hugged me.

"I missed you," I whispered into his jumper.

"Missed you too kid. Juice and Chibs are already sat down, come on."

I skipped into the dining room and pounced on Juice and immediately started peppering his cheeks with kisses. He laughed but didn't push me away. When I pulled away to let him breathe, I pinched his cheeks and told him how cute he was and how much I had missed him. He kept laughing and grabbed my wrists to push them back to my side.

"Ok, ok, I get it!" he said, "thanks ma'am. I missed you guys too. We got you a seat here."

He gestured to the empty seat between him and Chibs so I sat down, giving the Scottish man a small smile. He nodded to me casually but then saw no one was looking and leaned down to kiss my forehead quickly, before everyone else got into the room and I laughed. He winked at me as the other guys filed in, greeting me and the others cheerily. As Happy walked past he patted me on the head and I smiled up at him. He gave me a tiny smile before sitting beside Chibs.

As soon as Clay and Gemma were sat down the meal began and the chatter started. I was asking about their trip and they evaded all of my business themed questions and instead told me about all the girls they had slept with and the people they had beat up. I wasn't sure it was dinner appropriate but I loved it anyway. My heart dropped into my stomach when they told me about the run in they had with an Italian mafia but they were all in one piece, just a few bullet wounds. Chibs showed me the small hole in the left shoulder of his kutte. I had scowled at him. He should have been more careful but I guess that's just the nature of the business. I just told him I'd patch it up for him instead of scolding them all.

"So, Clay," Tig said, leaning forwards towards my dad, "I was just saying how good of an old lady our girl would make and thought I could perhaps put my name forwards. What do you think?

"Excuse me?" I exclaimed, suddenly distracted from my worry, and Clay choked on his potatoes.

"Come on Doll, what do you say? You practically do the job anyway, just need someone to tie you down."

I laughed and shook my head, telling him cheekily that all I wanted was for a guy to 'tie me down' with a wink towards the older man who was now gawping at me amid laughs from the others. Clay silently glared at Tig before telling them that if he, or any of the other guys, wanted to be with me they would have to deal with a beating from both my father and my cousin. Jax laughed and nodded. Chibs shifted slightly beside me and the table had fallen silent. I coughed awkwardly and looked at Tig with a raised eyebrow and pursed lips. He grinned at me, humour shining in his eyes.

"So," Jax said, breaking the silence in a suggestive voice, "has anything exciting happened here Vee?"

I froze. I feel like he knew something, like they all knew something and I, yet again, was left in the dark. They were all looking at me with interest. There was definitely no chance that they could possibly know about Nikolai so I decided on maybe it being about my mother. I however, decided to talk about something completely different that had been bothering me since I had finished cleaning the office.

I sighed and put my cutlery down, acting like I was going to tell them something important. They all leaned in and Chibs looked at me with furrowed eyebrows. I hid my smirk well.

"Well," I sighed again, "I finished cleaning the office and found-" I shuddered as I made eye contact with all of them, "- and burned all of your guys' porn magazines and I want to let you know that you're all disgusting men."

The heavy atmosphere lifted immediately and I laughed at their embarrassed, struck faces. As soon as I laughed everyone else did as well. Juice at least had the decency to apologise through his embarrassment and told me I shouldn't have had to see that, I agreed whole heartedly.

"Interesting but not what I was talking about." Jax chuckled, "I was talking about your personal life. We've had some err… intel that you may or may not have a boyfriend."

Well shit, I thought, fucking shit fuck.

I inhaled sharply before coughing awkwardly and looking down at my plate. I firmly pressed my lips together when Clay asked me to explain myself. He said it in a kind of way that suggested he wasn't going to be mad but I had a feeling that would change when he found out who the guy was. I thought about lying to them, telling them it was just some guy from Charming but I knew they would find out it was Nikolai some way or another then I would be in even _more_ trouble than I was now. I hated how unrebellious I had become since moving to Charming but I guess I didn't really have anything to rebel against any more.

"How- how did you hear about him?" I asked evasively.

"The guy across the street told us," Clay said seriously, "he… owed us a favour, so I asked him to keep an eye on you."

I looked up at him with narrowed eyes. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe he would have someone spying on me. I felt hot with anger and betrayal.

"You did what?" I spat.

Everyone started to shift uncomfortably but I wasn't sure what they expected my reaction to being spied on would be.

"It's for your safety Pumpkin-"

"Don't fucking 'Pumpkin' me! I am an adult, not a child. I can look after myself. I don't need someone watching me all the time."

There was silence in the room as Clay and I stared each other down. He didn't like me talking back to him but that was only because he wasn't used to it. He eyed my hands cautiously; I tended to throw things at him during a tantrum. I nearly took his head off with a wrench the first time. But luckily for him the only things I had to hand were Gemma's favourite plates and a full glass of wine, and I wasn't going to throw that at him.

"If you had told us," Clay said through clenched teeth, "we wouldn't need someone to watch you."

I glared at him. I knew he was right but if they had known they would have stopped me seeing Nikolai which was currently the only source of feeling relatively normal, and stress relief, I had. I couldn't have let that go, not with the stress and fear I felt with everything going on with my parents coupled with the worry of Jax and the others being away. I just couldn't.

"If I had told you, you wouldn't have let me see him."

"Who is it Vivania?"

I looked away from him, down at my plate, with a sigh. Chibs' hand clenched on the table and I assumed my silence said everything.

"The Russian guy?" he growled and turned to look at me but I didn't meet his gaze, "are you fucking kidding me girl?!"

"His name is _Nikolai_."

Then all hell broke loose. I was being shouted at left right and centre. I squeezed my eyes shut and bit the inside of my cheeks while cowering slightly in my chair. They were taking it in turns to shout at me and call me stupid, reckless, careless, selfish… it was horrible and I just wanted to cry. Gemma had left the room, taking some of the guys with her so I was now only being told off by my dad, Jax, Happy, Chibs and Tig. Happy was quiet but looking at me with something I had never seen before. He looked so disappointed in me which hurt more, I think, than them all shouting at me.

"What do you have to say for yourself?" Clay asked in a scarily calm voice.

I straightened myself up in my chair again and fixed his steady, angry gaze with mine. I felt myself trembling but took a deep breath before speaking. I made sure not to make eye contact with anyone, especially Chibs who had taken to pacing up and down behind me.

"I- I am an adult, Clay," I said, reiterating what I had said before, "I can make my own decisions and look after myself. He is not a dangerous man, he's nice. He's good to me. He _likes_ me. But he isn't my boyfriend."

"He's good to you?" Jax asked, looking confused, "like we don't like you? Like we aren't good to you?"

"I think she means in bed, brother," Tig said, he wasn't taking it as seriously as everyone else and I was thankful of that.

"No," I denied with a shake of my head, "well, yeah but that's not my main point. He takes me out for dinner, he thinks I'm funny and interesting and beautiful."

" _We_ think you're funny and interesting and beautiful."

"Jax… you don't understand. I needed-"

"Dick," Tig nodded, "I understand."

"-to talk to someone that wasn't in the club or associated with it in anyway. But also yes, thank you Alexander, for making me have this conversation in front of my dad."

He shrugged with a smile but it slipped off his face and he looked down when he looked behind me to Chibs.

"I don't give a shit about that," Clay said, obviously getting frustrated with Tig, "you went against our direct orders- against our warnings to play your stupid games. Did you ever think that he was getting close to you to you for a _reason_?"

"Other than the fact that he likes me, you mean?"

"To get close to the club," Chibs hissed behind me, "you think he likes you for you or because your Clay's kid? Isn't it obvious?"

I let out a shaky breath as his hurtful comment sunk in. was that he really thought of me? did he really think I was so unbelievably unlikeable and unattractive that the only reason someone would be interested because of who my dad was?

"He is using you," Chibs continued, still pacing behind me, "to get a better deal. If he _fucks_ the SAMCRO princess then he'll get even cheaper prices on his shipments."

He had never called me the princess before but he had said it with such venom that I didn't want him to ever call me it again.

"You can't just go around sleeping with club associates Vee," Jax sighed.

"I'm not part of the club, as you keep telling me, so I don't think that rule applies to me does it? Besides, I would have thought it would be good for business, he would have to keep his contract."

Chibs laughed bitterly and said, "so you're gonna do that with all the clients, are you? We all know you're no stranger to using sex to get what you want."

"What?"

"Fluttering your eyelashes and shoving your tits in his face to get him to sign the contract in the first place-"

I was starting to crumble now. I swallowed hard, trying to get the lump out of my throat and keep the tears at bay but it wasn't working. I didn't want to cry but hearing what they all thought of me was getting increasingly more difficult, especially from Filip. I thought he knew me better than that by now but that was nothing compared to the bombshell that Tig was about to drop.

"Yeah, plus all your grades at school."

"I'm sorry, what?"

Clay and Jax hissed at him to be quiet but he had let it slip now. I knew exactly what he was talking about and my sinking feeling of hurt made way for absolute, blinding fury. I stood up, put my hands on the table and leaned towards him with angry tears now streaming down my cheeks uncontrollably and my breathing shallow.

"What the fuck do you mean?" I said lowly, he had at least the sense to look scared.

"We read your school file," he stuttered, blue eyes wide with fear, "we know you fucked your teachers to get high grades."

I laughed coldly and shook my head. They didn't know at all.

"Top of your class," Clay mocked, "we know exactly why you were top of your class."

"I was top of my class because I worked really fucking hard in my lessons! I am a clever girl," I cast a glance back at Filip, "I was top of my class because I had worked for everything I could at that school. My teachers, Mr Johnson, Mr Sharpe and Mr Healey took advantage of me and held my grades to ransom. They wouldn't submit my grades at the level they were unless I fucked them, unless I sucked their dicks. Do you know how terrifying that is?" there was dead silence from them all, "if my grades weren't a C or above I would have been kicked out of the school and I was _not_ going back to that house! it didn't matter where I was. I have been _used_ and _abused_ by men my entire fucking life, Dad." I was sobbing almost uncontrollably now, "so forgive me for wanting to feel normal and loved and looked after for 2 hours every few days."

"Baby-"

"For a couple of hours I feel like a normal girl, doing normal things, with a normal and mildly attractive guy. For a couple of hours I'm not scared for my or any of your lives because it doesn't matter. I feel so alone," I said in an almost whisper, "and I feel so scared but I don't even know what I'm scared of because you all shut your mouths tighter than a nuns legs whenever I ask."

They were silent. Filip had stopped pacing. They were staring at me. Happy looked angry but he wasn't angry with me anymore. I was surprised when he stood up and came over to me. He started to ruffle my hair but then decided against it and pulled me in for a hug. The action in itself made me stop crying and he put his hand on the back of my head, telling me quietly that they didn't know and that he was sorry.

I shook my head with a sigh. I looked between them all but stopped my gaze on Filip who looked like he was going to throw up.

"I'm glad I know what you all think of me," I said to him as I pushed away from Happy's embrace, "I can go back to 'playing my games ' now that it's all out in the open."

I pushed passed Jax who had now stood up and was making his way over to me. I slammed the dining room door shut behind me and stormed past the rest of the guys with Gemma calling after me as I left the house and got in my car, not caring about all of my stuff upstairs. I had never driven so fast in my life and the alcohol didn't help at all. I had swerved all over the quiet roads and, by some miracle, made it home in one piece. I saw Mr. Crabb's curtains twitch and just threw up my middle finger at him before vomiting all over my driveway. Classy.

Feeling all kinds of anger and shame I went into my house, legs giving way and I fell to the floor by my front door and just cried. This evening was supposed to be fun and a nice distraction from all the shit that was happening in my life. I had missed them all so much and they just screamed at me for the best part of an hour and a half.

"Aw, poor little lamb." I heard a man say from somewhere in the gloom, "don't cry. Daddy's here."

 **Cliffhanger!** S'up, I finally my writers block conquered so updates should be coming quicker now! I'm so excited for you to read what's happening next!

Poor Viv, all she wants is to feel loved, bless her. I always get so emotional whenever I reveal a bit of her past. She just needs to get herself a nice, protective, scottish man with a gun on her side, right?

How do we think Chibs handled the news of her sleeping with Nikolai? Pretty well, right? So not jealous at all.

Thanks for all of your patience while I was working through this.

Love, Doe xx

PS, She called Clay DAD! ah! Development in the relationship or what?!


	11. Chapter 10 - Queen of Bad Decisions

Chapter 10 – Queen of bad decisions

I felt like I was going to throw up again but then I felt a hand graze my cheek and I shuddered. I knew that voice, of course I did. It was sickeningly sweet and patronising. The British accent sounded strange and cutting compared to the easy, drawling American one I was now used too. His hand was clammy and shaky as he continued to stroke my cheek.

"Daddy's here," he whispered again as the light flickered on.

Once the room was flooded with light I could see him clearly. He looked the same as he always had so I guess the stress of their situation had only taken its toll on my mother. His cold blue eyes looked into mine and he gave me a false, to wide smile that made me shrink back away from him until his hand snapped down to my neck where he gripped it tightly. I choked a breath and his expression turned menacing.

My eyes flicked around my living room and I saw that there were more people in my house. so many strange men had positioned themselves against different walls and on various surfaces. They all wore suits and ties, flipping around varying guns and knives. One man had even helped himself to my coffee. Bastard.

"Oh how I've missed feeling your little hummingbird heart beating in my hands."

I let out a ragged breath again as I watched the rest of the men carefully. Michael clicked his fingers and one man that had been hovering nearby immediately stepped forwards with a phone in one hand, pointing it at me. I hated how familiar that sight was.

"Don't," I choked out, "please don't."

He picked me up by my neck and slammed me hard against the front door; making me whimper and shut my eyes tight against the tears that sprung to my eyes when my head hit the hard wood. He crouched over me and hissed in my face. I couldn't tell him what to do. How dare I speak without being told too? I knew all of these things but I knew what was about to happen and I didn't want Clay and Jax to see it, let alone the rest of the guys.

"Please don't send it to my dad," I whispered.

"I am your father!" he shrieked in my face.

I closed my eyes as he let go of my neck only to be backhanded across the face. I let my body fall against the door like a ragdoll. My breath was shaky as I made myself stand up, using the wall for support. I glared at my stepfather but said nothing.

He asked the man holding the phone if he had captured the hit which made the other guy nod enthusiastically. He told him to get a close up of my face. I could feel the blood running down my chin from where his rings had split my lip and cut my face. I stared defiantly past the camera to him and spat the blood from my mouth out at him. It landed on his white shirt and dripped down until it sunk into the fabric. Michael sighed at me, shaking his head and tutting.

"Oh Vivania, my darling daughter, I have missed your spirit. Your mum just doesn't have the fight that you always had. She doesn't have her looks anymore," his hand stroked my face and hair; making me shudder, "but you are so beautiful. You made a big mistake trying to cut down our business but not to worry; you'll make up for it soon. Keep your schedule clear for the next week; we'll be coming over for some… family time."

I narrowed my eyes at him as the camera man lowered the phone and the other men in my house started congregating around me. I looked around in panic but Michael only got the door handle in his hand and looking at me expectantly. Quickly, I stepped away from the door and all the men filed out into the darkness. With one last sadistic smile, Michael followed them out.

I stared after them as a stream of sleek black cars came out of nowhere to stop outside my house. They climbed in and just like that, they were gone. I couldn't help but wonder what Mr Crabb had been doing the entire time that my stepfather and his goons were in my house, why hadn't he called Clay? Not that I really wanted to see him; even if I hadn't, until this very moment, realised that the danger that they had all warned me about was very real.

I was about to close my door when a sleek white car pulled up in front of my house. I froze as the back window rolled down and a man I didn't recognise looked out at me with a sly smirk.

"Oh, and Vivi," the man said, he was American, "how about you don't tell Clay or any of the other Sons? We don't want anybody to get hurt now, do we? See you tomorrow."

The window rolled back up to hide his face again and the car peeled away from the curb as a shiver ran down my spine. The guy had a bad energy coming off him in waves and I knew that it must have been Christopher Warren.

I slammed the door shut and fell back against it. I was hyperventilating and I didn't know how to stop. My head was spinning, from drinking heavily, the anger and the stone cold fear. The blow to the back of my head didn't help. It was serious now. I had been running around for two months pretending like I was important when in reality I was just being humoured and kept as busy as possible to distract me from what was going on. As long as I was cooking for them, cleaning up for them I wasn't asking what was happening.

I hoped my words had sunk in for them and they realised that keeping me in the dark had done more harm than good. I couldn't believe how shit the night turned out to be, I wanted it to be fun and I wanted to sleep at their house where I had felt safe but now, since their slanging match with me, I didn't feel safe anywhere. I couldn't even call Nikolai; if Mr Crabb told Clay he was here I'm certain he and Jax would kill him. I had also left my phone at the house with the rest of my stuff.

I had lay in bed awake for hours just tossing and turning; just trying to sleep but nothing worked. I couldn't get my brain to shut off, it was so loud and my thoughts were going by so fast that I couldn't pinpoint the exact thing that was keeping me awake. My head throbbed and my face stung from the cuts that littered my cheeks and lip.

With a frustrated sigh, I flung the blankets away from my body. The chilly air hit my body and I decided I should probably put on some clothes over the underwear I had just gone to bed in. I looked through my wardrobe for something that wasn't a pencil skirt or a blouse. My hands felt something soft and thick. It was the hoodie that Chibs had given me on the ferry on our way back over to America. I smiled slightly and held it up in the half darkness. The moon shone on the reaper on the back. I hadn't even seen that when it was first handed to me although I had a lot on my mind at the time. I slipped it on over my body, revelling in the comforting feeling it gave me and zipped it up half way. Once I had put my slippers over my feet I padded my way downstairs.

My first stop was the kitchen. I grabbed a glass from the cupboard then the wine and filled it up to the top; hoping that the alcohol would make it easier to sleep. The more I drank, the more my brain fuzzed and the thoughts became quieter. Thankful for the brain fuzz, I drank the rest of my second bottle. I knew it was bad but I was becoming the queen of bad decisions at the moment.

I had drunk the night away and collapsed on the couch, finally asleep. Or passed out depends on how you look at it.

When I woke up the next morning, or afternoon rather, it was too loud rapping on my front door and the window of my living room. I sat up suddenly and clutched my head, squinting against the pain in my head and the thumping in my ears. When the room stopped spinning, I looked to my left and saw Chibs and Jax with their hands cupped around their eyes as they looked through the window. They were shouting at me to unlock the door and let them in. I stood up shakily, resting my hand on the arm of the couch before stumbling over to the window. I glared at them, gave them the middle finger and shut the curtains with so much force that I startled myself.

My stomach cramped and my throat began to get slick. Before I could throw up on my nice hard wood floors, I stumble-ran into the kitchen to vomit in the sink. When I looked up, I saw that the two guys were now looking in through the kitchen window.

"Either let us in," Jax shouted as he took in my rough appearance, "or we can smash a window."

"Go fuck yourself." I spat.

I didn't care if they heard me or not. I just wanted to lie down.

They could see me from the window but by the time I had remembered I should have closed the curtains, I was already curled up around the bottle of whiskey on the couch. I didn't even like it but it numbed the thoughts in my head. They pounded on the back door and window for about 30 minutes, shouting at me. I curled up tighter around the bottle and just squeezed my eyes shut to the noise, trying not to remember how they spoke to me the night before.

I drifted in and out of sleep all day, only moving to go to the bathroom before curling back up to go back to sleep. I had nightmares, horrific nightmares, every time I closed my eyes. I dreamt I was a child again, reliving my worst moments. I dreamt that all of my friends were dead and I was left alone with only my mother and stepdad to help me. I also dreamt that I was running over an endless bridge with the sound of motorcycles hot on my heels.

I felt someone pulling at my arms and I fought back weakly but I was dragged up by my arms. I gasped. My eyes flew open and I was looking into the smiling face of Michael.

"Hello darling," he murmured as I fought against his grip, "how have you been?"

"Fuck off."

He laughed and stroked some loose hairs away from my face then moved his hand down my neck. He traced over the bruises he had left there the night before with a proud smile. I finally pulled my hands away from him and fell back onto the couch, hurriedly zipping up the jacket the rest of the way before he could get a good look at my body but I can tell by his face that he had already seen.

"Now now, Vivania," Michael cooed, "don't be like that. You don't need to be self-conscious; I'm your dad, remember? I've seen you before."

"Enough," another voice snapped from behind me, "We're not here to act out your disgusting fantasies Michael."

I looked around and saw the same guy as last night stood behind me with his arms folded. He was staring at my stepfather with a scowl but when he looked down at me he gave me a warm smile. I didn't smile back I just looked up at him with wide eyes. He came closer to the couch to put his hand on my shoulder, the smile not wavering once.

"I'm so pleased to finally meet the girl that orchestrated the down fall of my business; you really are an intelligent girl to come up with a plan like that. You think of it yourself?" he said kindly, almost praising.

"It- it's just a business technique," I stuttered out, "I learnt it in school."

He looked genuinely impressed. Christopher crouched down so that he was eye level with me. I stared into his eyes defiantly, wanting to know what he wanted from me. He smiled again before grabbing me by my braid and dragging me over the back of the couch. I grunted in pain as my elbows and knees hit the wooden floor. My heart was beating so hard I could hear it thumping in my ears and pulsing in my injured joints.

"I'm happy you impressed your dad, little girl, but you made me very angry," he growled in my ear as he pulled me up by my hair, "and now, you're going to make it up to us."

"What are you going to do to me?" I hissed, grappling at his hands trying to free myself from his grasp, kicking out as hard as I could.

"Well that all depends on you."

I didn't want to cry, I didn't want to beg; I didn't want to show the crippling fear that I was feeling inside. My scalp was hurting, I felt like he was going to rip it off my skull. I desperately tried to unwrap my hair from around his hand to no avail.

"Now, lovely girl," Christopher growled, "I want you to tell me _all_ about that little club of yours. I'm waiting."

I closed my eyes but shook my head. I flinched when he laughed humourlessly, a laugh that was echoed by Michael. Christopher dragged me towards my kitchen. He told his brother to grab a dining chair which he threw me into. I went to stand and run but I heard the sound of a gun being cocked and cold metal against my temple. I froze in place. My breathing went shallow and I sank down in the chair.

"There we go. Well done," Christopher cooed, "would you like to change your mind?"

I shook my head again.

I decided to channel Gemma. I kept thinking to myself, what would Gemma do in this situation? She wouldn't sell out the people she loved, even if her life was on the line. She would be strong and resilient. I resented them for what they had said to me, and I hadn't forgiven them yet, but that didn't mean that I wanted to betray them.

"Come on. Don't make us hurt you; we don't want that pretty face to be ruined. Do we?" Michael chuckled.

"You won't hit me on the face again," I rasped.

"Won't I?" he chuckled.

"No, you won't. People will see, you don't like that."

"Enough of this," Christopher sighed and hit me in the stomach and ribs with the butt of his gun.

I gasped as the wind was knocked out of me. I coughed and spluttered, holding my stomach until my arms were restrained my Michael. The two brothers kept firing questions at me about the club but I didn't know anything. I kept telling them I wasn't told anything but they didn't believe me. They told me that Clay Morrow's daughter _had_ to know something; Jax must have said something to me about their next moves in the business.

"Come on!" Christopher shouted in my ear, "you were the brains behind everything; you're not telling me that you haven't been putting ideas into their heads?"

"No," I gasped out again, "I'm telling you! They never told me anything. They kept me out of it after all of the people were on board."

"Lie!"

Another blow to the ribs.

I heard a sickening crack and assumed that my ribs had broken.

I could barely breathe now. My head hung forwards and tears dripped silently down my nose onto my legs. I couldn't even think about the club right now, I was in so much pain. My breath was shallow and every time I took a breath in my chest felt like it was about to collapse inwards onto my lungs. My wrists were raw from where I had fought back from my restraints. As I slumped forwards, the duct tape cut into the bruising and pulled at my wrist joints.

Michael pulled my head back by my hair to look at him. I stared into his cold eyes steadily. I wanted to show them I wasn't scared, I wasn't going to give in or beg for them to stop. I was stronger and more resilient than I had been when I was a child.

"We're going to leave now, sweetheart. You rest up, have a bath. Well see you tomorrow," Christopher's voice made my skin crawl as he whispered in my ear, "but if you breathe a word of what happened here to 'your boys' or your little family we will bring them here and kill them right in front of you. Just like your little Russian friend. Do you understand?"

I nodded reluctantly as visions of Jax and Opie lying dead on the floor covered in blood flashed through my mind. I couldn't cope with losing anyone else, especially since I had only just got them back.

"Good girl," he whispered and stroked my face, "we'll see you tomorrow."

My hands were freed with the swipe of a knife and my arms flopped forwards and hung limply at my sides. Before I could prepare myself for staying upright, Michael let go of my hair and I fell out of the chair and onto the floor. My arms were too weak to stop my head from hitting the floor and by vision went misty. Through the ringing in my ears I heard Christopher laughing and telling me that I should reconsider my thoughts on telling them information. I tried to tell them that I didn't know anything but my mouth wouldn't move properly.

"Rest well, little girl, we'll see you soon."

I heard the door slam shut and the house was silent. Before they left, they had turned off all the lights and I was grateful for that small mercy.

I wasn't sure how long I lay on the cold wooden floor before I managed to heave myself to my feet. My body was protesting at every movement I made but I made my way upstairs to my bedroom. Bracing myself for the intense pain I was going to feel, I flicked on the light switch. It wasn't as bad as I had thought it would be but I winced when I unzipped the jacket to look at my body in the mirror. A large blue bruise was appearing on the right side of my body. My knees were mottled along with my elbows. My wrists were blistered and red with blood from where the tape had rubbed and cut into my skin. When I looked up to my face I grimaced; there was dried blood on my temple and in my hair which was mussed up and messy.

I know I should have said something. I know I should have run to a neighbour's house and called Jax or my dad but I was so scared they would follow through with their threats. I knew the threats were serious now; Mother had told me it was going to get bad but I didn't even consider this would happen. I didn't know what I thought would happen but it wasn't this.

When I was a child and I had been overly rebellious, passed the point of a backhand slap, I would be locked in a dark closet, for hours at a time, to "think about what I had done" to be shut in there. It wasn't much of a punishment though because I would be thankful for the peace and safety I felt in the dark. I would put clothes on the floor and sleep on them. I guess I thought that it would be something similar to that but no. I was going to be beaten either until I told them the information I had, which was zilch, or they finally realised that I didn't know anything; whichever came first.

I did as Christopher had suggested and ran a bath. I eased myself into it, allowing the warm water to cover my aching body. I tried to get the duct tape off as painlessly as I could but it ripped the chafing skin and blisters causing blood to ooze out of my wounds and tears to spring to my eyes. While I ignored the stinging in my wrists, I started thinking of a plan to get them to lay off me. I could kill them, I thought, but I'm not sure how up to murder I would be; blood had made me squeamish ever since my last night in England. Another option would be to give them some kind of false information. I don't know what that would be because I didn't even know enough to base it on any kind of truth. I sank lower into the water to allow my head to go under the water.

I lay in the bath until it went cold and then a bit longer after that; not wanting to move my painful body. I did eventually get out, however, and dried myself off. I put on some clean pyjamas and the SOA hoodie before crawling into bed, curling up under the blankets and allowing myself to sleep.

The next morning, I was woken up by banging on the front door and shouting. I groaned but rolled over and brought the blanket up over my head and tried my hardest to ignore them. I was supposed to be in work today but even if I hadn't been unable to move I wouldn't have gone in anyway; I didn't want to see them. I didn't want them to see me looking like shit because I wanted them to think I was pretty and professional. If they saw me covered in bruises they would ask questions and I didn't want them to get hurt.

As with the day before, they only tried knocking and shouting for so long until a brave neighbour shouted for them to shut up or the police would be called. After that, the guys must have decided I just wanted some space or something because they stopped knocking. My phone was posted through the letter box and I had some missed calls from Nikolai but I didn't even want to speak to him, he was the one that had caused this mess. Well, I had caused this mess but he didn't help.

In the evening of the second day I was woken again by someone whispering in my ear. I lashed out at the person only to be hit across the face by a hand with sharp rings and grabbed by the hair. They had kept their promise and were back for more.

This routine lasted for about a week. Every day it would be harder and harder to fight back and move; every day I had a new injury. By the fifth day I was positive I had at least two broken ribs from constant and relentless beating in the same area. I stopped being able to make my way upstairs so I would just collapse on the couch and drag myself to the toilet when I needed too. On the last day, I was so delirious from the pain and lack of food that I couldn't even speak, move or even think about anything except for the pain that I was feeling. It felt like I was drunk and sluggish but not in a good way.

I was coughing up a mixture of mucus and blood. The action made me cry out as the movement of my lungs made the ribs, I was pretty sure were cracked, spasm with pain.

"I think she's had enough," Michael said, sounding a bit scared, "she isn't going to be able to take much more."

"She's faking," Christopher had laughed.

I tried to tell him I had had enough and that I didn't know anything but my speech slurred and the words just came out in one long string of muffled noise. I didn't even need to be restrained anymore; I was too weak to do anything. Michael just had his hand on my shoulder to keep me upright on the dining chair that hadn't moved since their first visit.

When I looked around all I could see were the silhouettes of my two tormentors against the dim light coming through the curtains. I was thankful that I couldn't see their grinning faces and their cold eyes as Christopher circled around me like a shark. He would occasionally hit my chair on either the back or on a leg to make me flinch. Every time I refused to answer questions I would be hit with the butt of his gun or burned with a cigarette. His favourite place to burn me was on the back of my neck and the smell of burning flesh was becoming unbearable.

"Or maybe you're right," Christopher admitted, "we don't want to kill her; Clay will have no reason not to come after us. We need to get them weak and she's our key."

I mumbled another string of nonsense that meant to be a vague threat on their lives and Christopher laughed.

"Yeah, not to mention that Scottish guy. Al says they're close."

Who the fuck is Al?

"Hm yeah. He used to be IRA. I heard he killed Jimmy O."

I didn't know what all this meant and I didn't care. I was enjoying the thought of Michael and Christopher being scared of the guy that was always so kind to me, except for over dinner when he called me selfish and basically a slut which I thought was pretty rich coming from a guy that fucks crow eaters all the time.

"Fuck."

I mumbled again and this time I didn't even know what I was supposed to be say at that point; I think I was just talking shit. The two Warrens laughed and Christopher stroked my sore cheek gently. He told me that he would leave me to heal, reminding me again that if I said anything to anyone my friends would be hurt. I had just nodded as my breath wheezed.

I hadn't heard them leave but I felt the cool night air waft through the door as it opened and shut.

Finally in the silence, and in the dark, I took a deep breath. My ribs exploded in pain and I made sure I wouldn't do that again until they were fixed. I tried standing but every small movement I made caused my ribs to hurt even more. I took a few quick shallow breaths then held my breath as I stood. I gripped my arms around the pained area on my torso and winced as the burns on the back of my neck pulled when I lifted my head. I didn't have far to stumble over to the couch and once I gingerly placed myself down on the squashy surface I let out a shallow sigh. It was becoming more and more difficult to stay conscious, my brain was being starved of oxygen and I was feeling prickly hot and shivery.

I was pleased that this was over, at least for a while.

 _There was an uneasy feeling in the club since the evening of the family dinner. Nobody had seen Vivania around or at least a week. Whenever they saw through the kitchen window there were wine bottles on the floor by the couch and once they saw her curled up wearing a Sons hoodie._

 _Happy had a bad feeling for a few days but he had also been told to give her some space; she was probably still angry with them all. That did nothing to ease his suspicion so one night he took Juice with him to her house. When they pulled up to the house they saw a white car starting up and peeling away from the curb beside her driveway. The uneasy feeling increased and they ran up to the living room window only to see the curtains still closed._

 _The two men made their way through the bushes that ran alongside the building to get to the back garden and look through the kitchen window. The torchlight shone in through the window and revealed blood on the floor next to an out of place dining chair._

" _Get the key," Happy rasped to the younger man._

" _What key?"_

" _Spare key. Under the mat."_

 _He pulled out his phone to call Clay and tell him what had happened when Juice told him that the key was missing. He gave a quick rundown of what they found to their president, who sounded both angry and stressed, before hanging up and started to kick the door in. he and Juice took turns in booting the locked door until it swung open._

 _When they turned on the lights juice swore and Happy's eyes widened. He knelt by the passed out girl and put his hand on her forehead. She was pale and sickly looking, her skin had a thin layer of sweat over it and her temperature was far too hot. When he looked closer at her skin he saw the purple bruises on her neck under her hair._

" _Stop," she mumbled although her speech was slurred and her voice was hoarse, "you said no more."_

" _Call an ambulance." He told Juice, "now. Call Clay."_

 _Vivania's eyes flickered open but didn't focus. She tried pushing his hands away but her attempts were weak. The sleeves of her jumper slipped up her arms to reveal the raw skin and lesions on her wrists. He thought back to the warning Caitlyn Teller had given her that night and knew immediately what had happened._

" _We're here," Happy said, trying his best to be gentle with her, "we'll get you help."_

" _Happy?" she asked faintly with her eyes still closed, "I'm still angry."_

 _He nodded in understanding and they stayed with her until the ambulance arrived, following on their motorcycles. The rest of the guys joined them on the road and escorted the emergency vehicle with Clay upfront, Jax on his left and Chibs on his right._

 **Oh, y'all wanted a twist? -** You thought chibs would come to her aid? Nope!

I really enjoy writing Happy and Viv having a close friendship, I feel like they understand each other in a way? I don't know.

This update is long! Over 5000 words! How do we feel about the guys not telling her anything about the business? Would that save her life or would it end up getting her in even more trouble with the Warrens?

I hope you don't mind the 3rd person point of view at the end; it's not going to be a full time thing so don't worry if you don't.

Thanks for all the support again, you people are all angels!

Lots of love, Doe

xxxx


	12. Chapter 11 - Soppy Bastard

Chapter 11 – Soppy Bastard

 _The thunder of motorcycles followed the sound of the ambulance sirens to the hospital. The group of bikes moved through the night, weaving in and out of the cars, creating a tense atmosphere when they drove past in the wake of the ambulance._

 _Once at the hospital the men dismounted their bikes and swarmed the ER, much to the discomfort and annoyance of the hospital night staff but there was no telling them to move along without an argument or threats however, the threat of police involvement made them agree to disperse so half of them had gone to wait outside._

" _What happened?" Clay growled at Happy._

" _White car pulled away as we got there, blood on the floor, missing key… someone has been hurting her all week."_

" _Who?"_

" _Her mom told her 'it was gonna get bad'."_

" _The Warrens?" Jax asked, stepping closer to the bald man._

 _Happy nodded solemnly._

 _Clay threw his hands up and shouted in frustration as Jax patted him on the shoulder, trying to calm him down but nothing was working until Gemma rushed in and kissed her husband softly. Eventually, he relaxed enough to bark orders at his men._

" _One of you with her at all times; day and night, do you understand? You'll take it in shifts until those rat faced shits get what's coming to them."_

 _It had been 2 hours by the time the doctor had come out to inform them of their girl's condition. The men stood and almost pounced on the doctor as he approached them. If he was frightened, he didn't show it. He just looked at them with a serene, calm expression."_

" _Are you Vivania's family?" he asked and, when they nodded, carried on, "we have sedated her for now. She has three broken ribs with some pretty severe bruising around her chest, stomach and neck. There are about 25-30 burns on the back of her neck. They look worse than they are but we will keep an eye on them so they don't get infected._

" _She does have a head injury but the MRI didn't show any signs of any contusions so the injuries are only external and we've stitched it up nicely for her._

" _She has also contracted pneumonia. This can happen when someone has suffered injury to their rib cage, basically, she hasn't been breathing quite as deeply as she should have been doing but we've caught it early enough for it not to hinder the recovery process."_

" _What about her arms?" Happy asked, remembering the raw skin under the sleeves._

" _Only surface wounds, they should clear up with minimal scarring. Now, her injuries do suggest that she has been severely beaten and the protocol in this situation is to call the police as soon as she wakes up."_

" _When will that be?" Clay asked sceptically._

" _Give her about a week to give her head and chest to heal and let her get some rest. Would you like to see her?"_

 _The older man nodded numbly and followed the doctor into the ward. He told his men to stay in the waiting area while he and Jax went to see her. She was lay in the bed with a hospital gown over her injuries but it didn't hide the mottled black and blue bruises that littered her arms, neck and face. She had a breathing tube in her nose to help her breath more deeply while she was sedated enough not to feel the pain in her chest._

 _Clay pulled the chair up to the side of her bed and took her dainty hand in his larger ones, careful of her injuries, and kissed the back of her hand gently._

Voices swam around in my head and I was vaguely aware of being touched on the face, hand and weight on my legs and stomach but every time I tried to anchor my thoughts on a particular feeling or voice it would be whipped away from me to be replaced by darkness or the same nightmare I had been having for weeks now.

I was running across that bridge again, it was still never ending. There were still lights behind me and the roar of motorcycles filled my ears until I was pulled out of the nightmare by another voice.

The voice felt so familiar and safe. It was kind and gentle as it spoke to me in an almost nonstop stream of words that also sounded familiar. It was like I had heard them before in a dream but I couldn't think when. I felt hyper aware of a hand in mine, something softly stroking over the top of my hand and that voice. I tried to move my fingers, as I had been for a long time now but this time, they moved. The voice stopped as I squeezed whoever had been holding my hand. I wanted to see who it was so I concentrated hard on opening my eyes.

"Vivania?" it asked, sounding unsure and cautious.

The light was blinding so when I raised my eyelids I immediately shut them again before scolding myself and blinking away the pain. I was lay back in bed with huge pillows around me. It felt so comfy that I considered going back to sleep until I heard my name. I looked to my left but before I could see who it they were pressing their lips to my forehead in a firm but gentle whiskery kiss. I laughed, even though my ribs hurt and my mouth was dry, and lifted my heavy arm to touch their cheek. I lifted my head to see warm brown eyes looking at me behind glasses.

"Filip?" I croaked.

"Jesus Christ lass," he breathed, "you scared us."

He kissed me again and I smiled. He pressed the button on the control panel of my bed to call in a nurse. I was in a hospital. Figures.

When she came in she greeted me with a warm smile, a cheerful glance towards Filip and a kind "welcome back". I smiled shakily at her as she checked all the things around me. She took the thing around my face away and I inhaled deeply. My chest hurt and I winced but it felt so good to fill my lungs. I was given some pain killers and told to sit up, if I could. She raised the back of the bed with that same control panel and propped me up with more comfy pillows.

"I'm going to call your dad, ok?" she asked me with a smile, "he'll be pleased to hear you're awake."

I smiled at her again and nodded as Filip stepped away from the corner of the room and poured me a glass of water. I tried to grip it with my fingers but he had to help me when I almost dropped it. I drank it all down in one go and asked him to get me some more. Once I had quenched my thirst and felt slightly human again, I looked at him. I hadn't seen him since he and Jax had banged on my door after our argument.

"How long have I been asleep?" I asked; it felt like it had been a lifetime since that evening.

"A week and a half," he said and sat back down beside me.

I raised my eyebrows in shock and let out a breath. He was leant forwards with his elbows resting on his knees and looking at me with the most unusual expression on his face. He looked sad but scared and there was an intensity behind his eyes that I couldn't quite place.

"Are you ok?" I asked with furrowed eyebrows and my head tilted to the side.

"You've just woken up from a coma and you're asking if I'm ok?" he laughed and pushed his glasses onto the top of his head.

Without the glasses in front of his eyes I could see them misting up. I reached out to him and he was immediately sat facing me on the bed holding my hand in both of his.

"I'm so fucking sorry," he whispered, "we should have seen- we should have _done_ something."

I shook my head slowly. There was no way that they would have known what was happening without me telling them. I had cuts and bruises that day but it could have been because I was drunk. I didn't blame them. I had wanted to hide away from them to keep them safe. I smiled when he roughly wiped his eyes and smiled back at me.

"You were talking to me," I spoke in an unsure voice, "what were you saying?"

"I was- ah, shit," he laughed as a slight twinge of pink came up on his worn face, "I was reading to you. There wasn't really anything I wanted to say that I didn't want you to be 100% awake for."

"Reading?"

He leant forwards and reached over to the table beside the bed and held up a book; The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. It was a beaten up looking copy with dog eared pages and yellowed edges. I grinned at him and he smiled back, looking slightly more embarrassed.

"It's my favourite," I whispered, "how did you know?"

"Jax said you used to read it as a kid. I found it when we were on the road and- you probably think I'm right soppy bastard."

"You bought it for me?"

He nodded and handed it over to me so I could look at it closer. It was floppy and bent with a cracked spine. He said he had kept it in the inside pocket of his kutte so it was a bit worse for wear. I didn't care though and held it tenderly to my chest as I looked at him with a smile. He laughed again and looked down at his lap, like a bashful kid.

"Thank you, Filip." I told him earnestly, "can you carry on?"

With a nod, he took the book back off me and sat back on the visitors chair before he opened it up halfway through and settled his glasses back on his nose. I watched him as he read to me with his ankle crossed over on his opposing knee, sat back in the chair. His lovely Scottish accent made all of the words he read out sound so different to how I had always read them. I could feel myself drifting back off to sleep although I tried fighting it so I could hear the end of the story and be awake for when Clay came in.

"Sleep, Sweet Girl," he murmured to me, "you can finish this when you wake up."

"I want to see my dad," I mumbled but lost my battle with consciousness when he stroked his thumb over my hand and kissed my forehead again.

When I awoke next time it was to see Clay sat in the chair with his head back and hands crossed over his stomach. I think he was asleep.

"Dad?" I asked.

Clay's eyes opened slowly and his head lifted so his eyes could focus on me. He looked relieved.

"Sorry I was asleep," I said quietly, "I tried to stay awake but Chibs was reading to me and I couldn't keep my eyes open."

"Boring story huh?" he asked with a throaty laugh then saw my angry expression, "I'm kidding! I know you love this one; you always have."

We were both quiet for a while until he sighed and leant forwards to that his hands were clasped in front of him on the bed. I thought he was going to ask me about the Warrens and what they had done but surprised me when he apologised for how the family dinner had ended. He expressed his anger towards the teachers at my school for making me do what they did; he said he was sorry for how out of hand everyone had gotten about my kind-of-relationship with Nikolai.

We had a long heart to heart even though I could tell it was difficult for him to show his feelings. Clay let me see the man behind the reaper patch and I finally felt like I was starting to get to know him, I just wished it hadn't taken me to get beaten like I had. He told me not to tell anyone that he had cried and I promised him that I wouldn't, as long as he let me know a fraction of what I would be facing from now on. I didn't want to be kept in the dark anymore.

"The guys are going to be pleased to see you," he said once the air had been cleared, "I've had at least one guy in here every days."

"I've heard voices and stuff," I nodded.

"They are gonna get the police in, the hospital. I don't want you telling them anything, alright? The Warrens have got guys everywhere, you can't trust anyone but Unser and he can't take the whole family down alone."

I nodded unsurely; I didn't know if I could lie to the police about this but I guessed he was right. We couldn't trust anybody right now.

Once I was feeling better, I could have more visitors. Gemma had been coming by once a day to brush my hair and now she offered to help me shower. At first I was adamant that I didn't need help but when I couldn't even stand without assistance I had to accept it. She had dropped by my house and picked up some clean pyjamas and all the stuff I would need to stay over for another week or so.

When I saw Jax come in with Abel, I started crying. He had laughed and brought his son over for me to hold. I stroked the little boy's hair softly and he poked my cheeks where the tears stopped; making me laugh. I had been cuddling him as I spoke to my cousin about what had happened, careful not to be too graphic in front of the toddler. I told him about the threats that Christopher and Michael had made about hurting my friends and why I hadn't said anything.

"I just didn't want you to get hurt," I said softly as I watched Abel fall asleep, curled up in my arms.

"Darlin', you know who we are, right?"

"Even big bad bikers can get hurt Jax."

Also, now I could have more visitors, it meant the police had been cleared to come and talk to me. When they arrived to question me I clammed up. Jax and Gemma had been sent out of the room so it was just me and Hale.

I told him that it was a random attack, a burglary that had gone wrong and I didn't know my attacker.

"I'm sorry detective, I really don't know anything. I went downstairs to get a glass of water and found this guy creeping around the living room. It was so dark," I started crying both for effect and because I was scared about lying, "and he just jumped me. I didn't see who he was; I think he was wearing a mask."

"Miss Teller," Hale sighed, clearly frustrated with my lack of information, "your injuries suggest an _interrogation._ You're telling me a random guy took the time to bind your wrists, break your ribs and burn the back of your neck? What did he say to you?"

"He's just a guy. I don't know. He didn't say anything."

"Alright Hale," Jax growled from the doorway, "you're upsetting her. She's been through a lot of shit and you're not helping. You've been in here for 45 minutes."

"Jax, I'm trying to get to the bottom of who did this. I'm trying to help your family."

"I'm getting tired now Detective," I said softly, "maybe you can come back."

And he did, 3 more times until he accepted my lie as the truth and they put out a search for a stocky, 5ft 5 inch man with dark hair.

Each of the guys had a different way to greet me. They had been warned about hug potentially hurting my broken ribs so it was mostly pats on the head and hand kisses but Tig came in and immediately hopped up and sat beside me. I laughed quietly and tried to shuffle over to give him room but winced when I put pressure on my arms. He had just told me to stop wriggling and stay right where I was. He actually fell asleep against my shoulder with his arm around my waist.

"He's not slept much," Juice chuckled, "he's been pretending not to be worried about you."

"Bless him," I smiled and looked at the quietly snoring man.

When Happy entered I saw the smallest smile show on his face. He came over and patted me on the head, careful not to rip the stitches on my temple. I thanked him quietly for probably saving my life; I vaguely remembered seeing his face and hearing his voice before all the flashing lights that must have been the ambulance and being shuffled down the hospital corridor.

"How's your mum?" I asked him.

"Worried about you, she's gonna be happy you're awake. She misses your cooking."

"As soon as I get home I'm going to make her a lasagne."

"Don't you dare."

I was about to protest his orders when Tig shifted and I saw he opened his eyes.

"Nah," he said tiredly, "we're looking after you now Doll."

When it was time for me to go home I was warned against doing basically anything for 6-8 weeks. I didn't want to go back to my house but Gemma said that I would need to go back at some point so I might as well get it out of the way quickly.

Gemma had bought me a whole new outfit for going home in, saying that all the clothes she found in my wardrobe would either be too tight or difficult to take on and off while I was alone at home. When she held up the pretty white linen dress I raised an eyebrow. It was a halter style dress without a back so I could step into the skirt and tie the straps around my neck. I didn't have to lift my arms to much so wasn't strained or in too much pain. My only gripe with the dress was that you could see all the bruises on my neck and around my ribs and back.

While Gemma helped me get dressed Clay packed up my bag and got all my prescriptions from the doctor. I had pain killers, antibiotics to fight my pneumonia, an antiseptic cream for my burns and cuts on my wrists as well as extra bandages. By the time I was ready for leaving he was well packed up and waiting for us. He sighed exasperated when we finally appeared.

"Come on Pumpkin," he said and held out an arm to me, "time to go home."

I put my hand in the crook of his elbow and walked out of the hospital into the glorious sunshine. I let out a sigh and closed my eyes as soon as the sun hit my skin. When we went down the steps I heard cheers and whoops. I opened my eyes and grinned when I saw all the guys with their bikes all lined up across the concrete. They were waving and cheering as we neared.

"You look really pretty ma'am," Juice spoke with a cheerful voice as he took the bags off of Clay and put them in the car, "you should wear your hair down more."

"Thank you Juice," I smiled.

Filip opened the passenger side door for me with a small bow. I laughed lightly and took his out stretched hand to stabilise myself as I sat down gingerly. I took a deep breath to ready myself for the pain of twisting my body into the car but it was only a dull ache. The painkillers were finally kicking in.

"You all in?" Filip asked as he crouched down to tuck my skirt into the seat, "we'll meet you at your place, ok?"

I nodded and thanked him as Gemma slipped into the driver's seat. He shut the door for me and went back to the rest of the guys. Jax and Tig had said something to him and he pushed them away, laughing and sitting on his bike. I smiled and turned to Gemma as she started speaking.

"He's been worried about you," she said casually.

"They've all been worried, I know."

She glanced at me as we followed the first lot of motorbikes. Clay was up front with Jax and Chibs behind him and Tig following them while Happy, Bobby, Opie and Juice followed behind the car. Gemma huffed when Tig kept slowing down and speeding up.

"He's doing that just to annoy me," she complained, "I know it."

When we finally arrived at my house I felt my chest tighten and my mouth went dry. I didn't know that I would react this way. I was disappointed in myself for getting scared like this; it was just my house. Gemma patted my hands and asked if I was alright. I just nodded, feeling unsure of myself and unclipped the seatbelt.

My door opened and Clay stood by as I heaved myself out of the car. I took his arm again while we walked slowly up to the house, being careful not to jolt anything against the wooden banisters of my porch. Stepping inside made me feel strange. I know it was my house and that I should be safe here but at the same time, a sense of dread filled my body when I looked at my dining table and chairs.

Someone had been in to clean up, I noticed, probably Gemma. The floor was clear of blood and bottles and the furniture had been put back in place. I clutched Clay's arm tighter and he patted my hand.

"Chibs has volunteered to stay with you tonight, and there's gonna be a guy with you all week," Clay informed me, "we're gonna get these guys. Don't worry."

I nodded.

I was absolutely starving; hospital food is gross in every country apparently. I went to the fridge and saw that it was packed full of food in different containers. I was surprised at the sheer amount of food in there and looked around to Clay with wide eyes.

"For you and your sitters," he told me, "just freeze what you aren't gonna eat tonight."

"Ok, tell Gemma thank you."

"We're gonna head off, but you've got Chibs with you and your phone is in your room. Are you gonna be ok?"

He held my face in his hands, looking over me with worry. I laughed lightly and placed my hands over his; reassuring him that I would be fine even though I wasn't so sure myself. With my reassurance, he nodded and held onto my shoulders firmly before turning to leave. I stood at my front door and waved at the guys as they left.

"You alright Lass?" Filip asked when I lingered at the door a little too long.

I nodded and watched as the Warrens car went the opposite way to the motorcycles. The windows in the back were blacked out so I could only see the driver but I knew they were both in there, watching me. They had driven passed to let me know they hadn't forgotten about me, I know they had. I shivered.

"What can I do? Are you alright?" Filip asked.

I stopped halfway from standing up off of the armchair to look at him. He was taking his role very seriously. I couldn't do anything without him jumping up and wanting to help me.

"I'm fine," I said with a small smile, "I'm just going to get some food. Do you want anything?"

"I'll get it for you, sit down."

I ignored him and continued to stand up with an exasperated look in his direction. I made my way around the furniture back into the kitchen and picked out a portion of casserole to reheat. Gemma's instructions, written on the top, were to put it in the oven for half an hour covered with foil. As I was slowly going around the room sorting everything out, Filip hovered in the doorway uncomfortably and reaching his hand towards me whenever I would hiss in pain. I let him put the casserole dish in the oven because it was way too heavy for me to lift, bend and reach forwards at the same time.

"Can we talk?" I asked him, suddenly once the oven was shut and we were just looking at each other.

"Yeah, sure. What about?"

I looked down to my hands and fiddled with my fingers. I hadn't brought up that night with any of them; they had been concentrating on the Warrens and my injuries. They had probably forgotten all about it but I couldn't get their comments out of my brain and every time I looked at Filip I remembered his horrible words and the anger on his face. He seemed to understand and nodded.

"Where do you wanna start?" he asked as he leant against the counter with his hands in his pocket.

"What you said really hurt me Filip," I sighed, "I just- I just don't know where it came from or why you were so hurtful."

He exhaled through his nose and waited until I looked back up at him to start speaking. When I did he had his lips pressed firmly together and his head tilted slightly with his eyes fixed on me in a steady but intense gaze. I swallowed, not out of fear but because I wasn't sure if I was ready for the hard hitting truth he was going to give me.

"I was angry." he said simply, carefully judging my expression, "I was angry with you. I'm sorry I can't sugar coat it."

At least he was honest. I folded my arms and he mirrored my action.

"I am sorry for what I said, I regret it. Not just because of what happened when you left either, I was so angry with myself for not watching my mouth."

"But why were you so angry?" I pleaded with him, "all of you were angry but you got so personal. I thought we were friends."

He rubbed his face with his hand and sighed. He looked past me, casting his eyes over the living room and swallowing before looking back down to me. He was silent, only for a few seconds but it felt like an hour had passed when he finally spoke.

"Yeah _,_ " he said with a slight bitter laugh, "friends. I'm your friend so I'm gonna tell you when you fuck up. You fucked up, Lass."

I had been dreading the moment that I would be going to bed all evening. I had managed to get up the stairs with minimal difficulty and got changed with slightly more. The right side of my body was still so sore and the bruises were now mottled with green and yellow with still some splotches of blue here and there. My neck had cleared up quicker than my body but I guess that was to be expected.

My face wasn't hurting anymore, that must have cleared up in the hospital while I was asleep. My wrists, however, were a different story. They were still so raw and painful. Every time I made a movement, the scabs would split and the sore skin would sting. They had told me to be careful with them if I didn't want them to scar but I had a feeling it was maybe too late.

I couldn't get comfortable and when I did drift off to sleep, there was that nightmare again. I woke with a start, gasping for breath and covered in a layer of cold sweat. The sudden movement jolted my ribs and I winced. My painkillers were downstairs and I groaned, thinking about the effort it was going to take to get back up to bed. I sloped down the stairs carefully and saw that the lamp in my living room was on; casting a dim, warm glow around the room.

Filip was sat up on the couch and turned around quickly, looking panicked, when he heard my quiet footsteps approaching. He relaxed when he saw it was only me. He had taken his kutte and gun holster off so he was just sat in a plain black t-shirt and jeans. I rubbed my eyes and smiled at him.

"You should be asleep," I said quietly, "what are you doing?"

"I can't sleep."

"So you're just sat here? Put on the TV."

"I didn't wanna wake you."

I raised my eyebrow at him before making my way over to the kitchen to find my tablets and grab a glass of water. I sat down on the other end of the couch and rested my head on the arm. I let him know about my nightmare and the pain in my ribs waking me up. I was only going to sit on the couch until the painkillers kicked in but by the time they had I couldn't be bothered.

"C'mere Sweet Girl," Filip said gently.

I looked over with a yawn and saw him holding out his arm. With a lazy smile, I shuffled over so that I was close next to him. I let myself lay down so that my head rested on his lap. His hand running through my hair felt so relaxing. I sighed as his fingers worked through the tangles and across my scalp. He drew patterns across my bruised neck and up my cheek then back into my hair. He was silent, thinking perhaps, and I didn't speak either.

I was thinking about what I had said earlier, we were friends. But if we were only friends, why did I never want him to stop touching me like this? Was this what friends did? Maybe.

"We're gonna kill those bastards," he mumbled, "for what they did to you."

I made an acknowledging sound with a sigh. I didn't care that they were planning on killing the Warrens and their associates. I knew I should but after all the pain, emotional and physical, that they had caused me I wanted them to suffer. I wanted them to be hurt just as badly as I had been hurt over the years.

"Soppy bastard," I murmured back to him, echoing his words from last week, with a small laugh.

He chuckled quietly at my words then told me to sleep.

When I did eventually fall asleep, it was finally a peaceful rest. It was probably one of the best sleeps I had had in a long time.

 **Finally, right?** – it's about time we got some cute Chibby action! I had to put a cliché of waking up to their voice in there, I couldn't help myself! Are we thinking that maybe he is starting to want to tell her how he feels? Is he scared of her reaction and Clay's? is he worried he is too old for her?

We shall see.

Imaginemotherofdragons, JenMac001, Samantha Renk! You guys were fucking on it the last chapter! I have never had such quick responses to a chapter before! Angels, I tell you, all of the people that comment on my story or even read it are angels and I appreciate you all!

The more I write about the Warrens the more I hate them. You know? Cruising passed her house like that! Dicks.

Anyway, join me for the next one, it should be up in a few days. A reminder that my Tumblr is now fully up and running so give me a follow or a message on there, if you like.

Kisses until next time!

Love, Doe xxxx


	13. Chapter 12 - You Love Me And You Know It

Chapter 12 – You Love Me And You Know It

When I woke up, I was in bed and alone. I saw the tub of painkillers on the bed side table beside a glass of water. I popped two in my mouth and downed the water, which was difficult when lying down but I managed to get most of it in my mouth and minimal on the pillow, and waited until they had kicked in to move.

Going downstairs was a lot easier with the pills in my system. I saw that Filip was lying down on the couch with his hands folded on his stomach and snoring. I laughed quietly and padded through to the kitchen to make some coffee. I jumped when my phone rang. The caller ID showed Nikolai's name. I looked over to Filip and saw that he was still sound asleep and pressed the decline button while I sipped my coffee. Pushing the thought of Nikolai from my mind, I busied myself with making breakfast for myself and Filip.

I put everything needed for a good old English breakfast on two plates and carried them through to the living room. Putting one on the coffee table in front of him and shaking his shoulder gently to wake him up.

"G'mornin'" he muttered in a voice thick with sleep, "what's this?"

"Breakfast."

When he sat up and saw the plate he licked his lips. I handed him the cutlery. He asked if I wanted to eat at the dining table and I shook my head a bit too quickly to be casual. I perched in my squashy armchair and balanced the plate on my bare legs. We ate in silence but when he was done, Filip complimented me and thanked me before taking my empty plate off me and washing them and the pans up. I watched as he stood at the sink in tattered, odd socks; without the kutte and gun he looked like just a normal guy.

"Come on then Lass," he said once he was done drying and putting everything away, "get dressed. We need to go to TM."

"I can't drive on my tablets."

He smirked at me and I shook my head.

"There is no way I am riding on that death trap!" I exclaimed, reading his mind "no way in hell!"

"You'll love it! You seemed perfectly happy snuggling up to me last night."

I looked away with a blush and stuttered out a response and he laughed. I told him that I would ring Gemma or a taxi but he wasn't accepting that as an answer. I refused to give in though, I sat with my arms folded and shaking my head stubbornly.

"Come on," he drew closer to me and knelt down with his hand on my thigh, "you know you want to. I've seen you watching us on our bikes."

"Filip," I warned him, "you know I've just got out of hospital right? What if I fell off and hurt myself even more? And what if the Warrens come by with their guns and kill you?"

His face softened out of the mischievous smirk to a kinder smile but he wouldn't take no for an answer; telling me he's a _really_ good driver and would keep me safe but I knew that already. He was looking me in the eyes earnestly and I felt compelled to say yes. Damn his stupid handsome face and warm brown eyes. I sighed and nodded. His grin returned, showing his dimples, and he squeezed my thigh gently.

"Damn you, Filip Telford," I muttered as I stood up.

"You love me and you know it."

I hummed disapprovingly with narrowed eyes and my lips pressed firmly together as he stood up, bracing himself on his knees. While I made my way upstairs he gathered his things together. I looked through my wardrobe for something both easy to put on and motorcycle appropriate. Getting dressed was difficult but I knew I couldn't ask Filip for any help. I thought about calling Kimbra but checked the time and knew she would be at work by now. I tried to put a bra on but I couldn't take the pain of the pressure it was putting on my chest. I hadn't worn one yesterday or during the time I was in the hospital and I was dreading going out without one, especially on the back of a motorcycle.

"Filip?" I called out, panicked when I saw that he wasn't in the house, "Filip where are you?"

"I'm here," I heard him call back.

I looked around and saw that the door leading from the house to the garage was open. I hadn't even noticed it. I looked in and my rapid heartbeat started to calm down when I saw him working over his bike. I hadn't been in my garage too much; there were too many spiders. I hesitantly stepped in looking around like a person on crack which made him laugh. I felt like there were insects crawling all over me and I hated it. I pushed the thought out of my brain and fixed my gaze on him.

"I need your help," I told him.

"Anything."

"Can you help me with my hair? I can't reach up to do it."

He nodded slowly. I don't think that's what he expected me to say but he followed me back into the house and I positioned myself in front of the large mirror in my entryway. He stood behind me and I handed him my hair brush and hair ties, telling him just to put it in a ponytail if he couldn't braid it. It was funny watching him concentrating so hard on brushing my hair and tying it up. Once he had gathered it in a ponytail, he froze. I watched his jaw clench and felt his ragged breathing on my neck. He ran his fingers over the marks left by the cigarette burns and met my eyes with his in the mirror. I just nodded at him, knowing what he was thinking and he continued to tie my hair up. Surprisingly, he did know how to braid.

"Thanks," I said once he was done.

"Anytime. Now come on, you've stalled for long enough. Are you ready to lose your bike virginity?"

"Only to you," I winked.

He laughed and took my hand to lead me back into my garage. He raised the garage door and pushed his bike out to the end of my driveway while I checked all my doors were locked. Nervously I waited until he had closed up the garage before I stepped close to the machine. He was looking at me expectantly and I hesitated.

"You're gonna be fine, Hen," he said gently, "I promise."

I smiled at the term of endearment I had only heard Scottish people use. I took his outstretched hand with a deep breath and swung my leg over the scary machine. He made sure I was alright, well balanced and that the helmet he had given me fit snuggly around my chin before hopping on easily in front of me. My breath hitched and I grabbed onto him tightly, squeezing around his stomach so tight that he choked, as the bike roared to life underneath me. I felt rather than heard him laugh as he patted my hands.

"I can't breathe, Sweet Girl. You need to loosen your grip."

"Sorry," I whispered and released my vice like grip only slightly so he could breathe again.

"Ready?"

I shook my head and squeaked when the bike started moving. I hid my face and shut my eyes tightly as he started driving down the road. I adjusted quickly to moving myself with the bike though and stopped tensing quite so much every time we went around a corner. I had managed to turn my head to the side and watch the world go by with fascination and amazement. It wasn't nearly as cold as I thought it would have been but perhaps that was because I had Filip blocking most of the wind.

Parking in TM was an… experience. Clay had come out and was shouting at Chibs. Clay was saying that Filip had put me in danger and reiterated what I had told him had worried me but when I slid, rather ungracefully, off the motorcycle and went to him he stopped shouting and looked over me with worry but I was grinning like a mad woman.

"Are you alright Pumpkin?" he asked, checking my arms and face.

"Dad," I laughed, "it was fun! I loved it! I only want to travel by bike now."

Filip laughed as he took my helmet off me, saying if that's what I wanted he would be happy to oblige. Clay shot him a quick glare but I hit him in the arm and told him to relax, how was I supposed to get here, like he asked, if I couldn't drive myself and did he really expect Chibs to leave his bike at my house? Clay sighed and put his arm around my shoulder, leading me into the clubhouse with the Scotsman following behind.

"You wanted to hear about the Warrens?" he said when we were inside.

I nodded and eased myself down into a chair. The clubhouse was strangely empty today with only the guys working on cars outside. Filip put a glass of orange juice in front of me and reminded me to take my tablets before sitting beside me. Clay sat down with a coffee mug across from me and sighed.

"I didn't want you to become a big part of this Vivania," my dad said with a withering look at me, "but I guess we can't shelter you from it forever. Before I tell you anything, I want you to tell me what you know, what were they asking you?"

"I think they're panicked," I mentioned, "they're business is starting to fail and they will need to start looking for more clients soon otherwise they'll have to move and release their grip around here but I don't think they will go willingly. They were asking me about your next moves, what do you know about them. They know about Fi- Chibs' time with the IRA and about killing a guy called Jimmy O?"

Filip shifted uncomfortably but nodded when I looked at him.

"They're scared of you," I told him which made him look slightly smug but he was still clearly uncomfortable, "and they mentioned someone else but the name means nothing to me. They knew that Chibs and I are good friends because someone called Al had told them?" I phrased it as a question.

The two men shared a thunderous look. I looked between them with wide, confused eyes. I didn't know who Al was but they quite clearly did. Clay nodded at Filip and they stood up quickly and strode out of the bar. I was baffled. I stood up slower and followed them out to see them striding across the lot towards the mechanic bays. I hobbled along behind them, shouting and asking where they were going. Clay turned around and told me to get back in the clubhouse but I kept walking and he didn't bother to tell me again, just let me follow them. Filip had carried on walking while Clay waited for me to catch up and I heard loud Scottish shouting.

"You treacherous little bastard!" he was shouting, "you scumbag!"

There was a loud crash and a shout of pain. Clay ignored me when I asked him hurriedly what was going on. When we rounded the corner I saw the anti-social prospect on the ground cowering beneath Filip and I gasped. The latter turned around and told me, with almost pleading eyes, to go back to the clubhouse but I shook my head and fixed my gaze back on to the man on the ground. He looked to Clay who just nodded slowly, he was going to let me stay and see what's going on.

The prospect, Al, looked at me with disdain, his small hazel eyes piercing me until Filip grabbed him by the front of his plain kutte and lifted him from his position on the ground to look him in the eyes.

"Don't you fucking look at her," he spat, "who are you?"

Al said nothing but struggled against Filip's grip. Clay moved forwards and grabbed the guy by his greasy hair and pulled him away from the other man. He looked him steadily in the eyes before swinging his fist and causing him to stagger back and into Filip who pushed him head first into the tool trolley. While he was on his knees, Clay took the neck of the cut and, in one swift movement, stripped it from his shoulders.

I flinched at the savageness of the men in front of me but made sure not to look away. I wanted to see who this guy was and why had he done what he did.

"I'm her stepbrother," he coughed, his voice was weak but venomous, "they sent me here to watch her and you. You didn't even see think to check who my family was before you took me on."

"You said you had no family," Clay growled and pulled him by the shoulder so that he was on his back, "what will your dad say when he finds out you've ratted?"

"Who cares?" Al said, "you're gonna kill me before they will?"

"What did you tell them?"

"Everything I knew."

I stood in shock. I knew Michael had a kid about my age but I never knew what he looked like. This guy looked nothing like him except for the dark hair. He looked back at me and Filip punched him in the jaw, his rings cutting the younger man's face.

"I told you not to look at her," he said in a dangerously low voice.

"Who else is ratting for them?" Clay asked.

"They know all about your little relationship with the Russian," Al said nastily and I saw Filip grimace slightly.

"Is he involved?" I asked him before either of the other men could say anything.

I made sure that my voice didn't waver or tremble; I wanted to show him and Clay that I was tougher than they gave me credit for. I looked at him steadily without tears and any signs of pain or betrayal as I braced myself for the worst possible outcome.

"That pussy?" Al laughed humourlessly, "you've been with him; you should know that he's too much of a romantic to do anything to hurt you. He actually likes you, for some reason."

"So he's not working with you," I carried on, "but someone who knows him is. Who is it?"

"Nikolai is a pawn, a front man for the actual boss. Alana Bachekova is the real boss, her dad anyway."

I recognised the name and could immediately picture who she was. The woman that sat beside Nikolai on our first meeting. I have to admit to my surprise and judging by the faces on my dad and Filip they were too. They had always thought that Nikolai was the one in cahoots with the Warrens.

"And it's this Alana that's working with you?"

Al nodded with a sick smirk and informed me about the beating Nikolai had gotten when they found out he had been seeing me. He had been kicked out of the group and they had moved away from Charming. I thought about the phone call I had declined earlier that morning. Had it been Nikolai that was ringing me or was it someone else?

"They are escaping my uncle's wrath and if you're as clever as you think you are, you will too. They want you back. They _like_ you."

"They can go fuck themselves. Tell them I said that and tell them that I will never go back willingly."

"That's enough Viv!" Clay exclaimed and looked at me with an irritated expression, "stop provoking him."

"I'm not scared," I told him and this time I really meant it.

"You should be." Al spat, "they're gonna kill you!"

"Are they?" I asked and folded my arms.

"I've had enough of this," Filip sighed and grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and lifted him to his feet before looking at me.

"What do you want us to do with him?" Clay asked me, also turning to look at me fully.

I was at a loss for words. I thought Clay was in charge; I thought something like this would have to be up to a club vote but their expectant gaze made me think otherwise. I took a breath and my rib ached.

"Tie him up," I said monotonously, "and break his ribs. Give him back to his dad."

Clay looked at me with a proud expression and smiled. He nodded at me and Filip did the same before they took one arm each and started to walk him, struggling, into the bar. Filip picked up a wrench from the trolley as he passed it. I followed behind them.

"Call Jax," Clay said to me, "tell him to get all the guys to the clubhouse now."

I nodded and did as he said.

Once all the guys had arrived, they were stood around in a circle with Al in the middle, his arms tied behind him with duct tape. They had been filled in as to what was happening and most of them seemed to be in agreement with my decision to get back at them. The only person that was opposed was Piney who said that it will antagonise the Warrens into action.

"That will work in our favour," Jax said angrily, "we have all the power now. We know they will retaliate, we just need this guy to tell them where they are based."

Al spat at Jax who punched him in the nose.

"Alright," Jax shrugged, "have it your way. Shall we?"

Clay nodded and handed Jax the wrench.

"You sure you wanna watch this Sweet Girl?" Filip asked me.

The look of confusion on everybody's faces would have been funny if I wasn't about to see someone get tortured. I hadn't realised before but he had never called me that in front of anyone else. They looked at me; waiting for my confirmation. I nodded and Filip came to stand beside me. His arm went around my shoulders, he tucked me into his side as Jax swung and the first blow of the wrench hit its target. The blood pounded in my ears as I flinched but didn't look away.

"You bitch!" Al screamed at me, "I can't wait to see you dead on the ground! I can't wait to bury you where no one can find you."

"Shut up," Jax grunted and slammed the wrench down again.

When it had been happening to me I didn't scream or cry out; I didn't make a noise. Al didn't have the same level of resilience as I did though, clearly, or maybe he just hadn't had the childhood I did where if you made a noise or alerted anyone it got ten times worse.

The crack of his ribs was silent but his reaction showed when it had happened. He was crying and screaming. The sound of his screams more than the violent actions themselves made me wince. I knew how much it hurt and I didn't envy him at all. Jax dropped the wrench on the floor and wiped his forehead with his sleeve. Clay nodded, satisfied, and looked to me. His eyes searched my face but I fought to show no signs of being bothered by what I had just seen.

My dad came over to me and kissed me on top of the head.

"You did well, Kid," he said to me quietly, "Happy and Tig are gonna take him so his parents can find out what happened. You alright with that?"

I nodded and he gestured for them to get the man out of the bar. They unbound his hands by ripping off the tape and I winced again, looking down at my own bandaged wrists. his just looked sore though, nowhere near as blistered and cut as mine were.

"I don't think you did enough," Happy said to me as he helped Tig pull him from the chair, "I would have killed him."

"His family will do that for us," Clay told him.

Once he was out of the building the other guys stood solemnly in the bar. They had just found out that a prospect, someone they should have been able to trust, was actually feeding the enemy information so I don't blame them. They nodded to me, some checked if I was alright, as they started to help themselves to drinks.

"You want some wine?" Opie asked me.

"Can't drink on my antibiotics," I said with a small smile even though I probably needed something stronger than just a wine.

"I think just one would be alright," Filip said and shook me slightly, "trust me, I'm a doctor."

I let out a ragged breath and nodded. He lead me over to the bar and helped me to sit up on a bar stool while Chucky came in and started to tend the bar. He passed me a glass of wine with a sympathetic look and slid some whiskey to Filip who raised his glass to the bartender. He clinked his glass against mine.

"To your first order as SAMCRO princess," he said quietly, "well done. You did well to watch it on your first time."

"It was horrible," I said, "but he deserved it for what he did to you guys. Besides, there was no blood."

He seemed to understand and nodded, drinking down his drink in one go. His arm was around my waist and I was leaning against his chest when Jax came over and stood beside me. My cousin looked up at the Scottish man and grinned.

"S'up, Sweet Girl," he teased.

I blushed but greeted him. Filip coughed but if he was bothered by Jax's teasing he didn't show it and he didn't remove his arm from around me either, instead he rested his chin on my head. I had my back to the rest of the bar but I had a strange feeling that we were being looked at. Jax chatted to me easily, like he hadn't just broken a man's ribs on my orders, but then again he probably did this sort of thing all the time. He asked me what sort of sleep I had last night and I told him it was good to be back in my own bed but let out the part where I fell asleep on Filip. While we spoke, the doors opened and Tig and Happy came back in.

"Did you put him somewhere someone would find him?" Clay asked over his beer bottle.

"Yeah," Tig said, "threw him out at the hospital. He says he won't say it was us."

"Can't trust him though," Happy rasped as he accepted the beer from Jax.

There was a murmur of agreement from the rest of the guys and Clay called them all into the meeting room. Filip turned me to face him and checked I was going to be alright.

"I'll be fine," I reassured him, "I've got Chucky to keep me company."

"Are you sure?"

"Stop fussing and go!"

He laughed quietly but put his hands up in a surrendering position before turning and making his way into the meeting room with the others. When I turned back to Chucky he was looking at me with raised eyebrows. I mimicked his expression.

"Something going on there?" He asked me.

"No, I mean I don't think so," I frowned, "I think something would have happened by now."

"Really? I mean it was a pretty intense look he was giving you before."

"I don't know what you mean Chucky. Now stop being so nosy."

There were some whistles and whoops coming from the meeting room, loud enough that we could hear it through the door.

"I'm just saying…"

I laughed off his comments but I knew what he meant. He was acting normal but there was something else in the way he was being lately. It was different between us and it started at the hospital. I can only guess it was because he was being kind to me without wanting anything in return. That was somewhat of a rarity in my life.

"Damn you Chucky," I sighed and looked up at him in frustration, "why do you have to complicate things?"

He just laughed as I heard the gavel bang and movement and chatter erupt from the meeting room. I turned to look and Clay came over. He stood leaning against the bar letting me know that Filip was going to take me home and stay with me again that evening since Michael and Christopher seemed wary of him over anyone else. I was happy with that decision.

We hung around the lot until the evening and happily, I got to see Kimbra who dropped by when I wasn't answering my door at home. I hadn't seen her since my first few days of being awake so I was pleased to see her. She had given me a hug that was slightly too hard but I didn't care; I was happy for the girl time. She talked to me about what was happening in her life, what had happened between her and the other Croweaters while I was away and things like that. Apparently, the girl that I had had a fight with was back around since she had heard I was in hospital but nobody had really socialised with her. I wasn't really bothered about her but she seemed to find it really funny. Livia had gone off Tig now and had moved on to Bobby which did surprise me.

I didn't tell her about what had happened with Al and my week of hell. I didn't really want to think about it. She commented on my renewed relationship with my dad, telling me that she was happy we finally seemed to be getting along. I thought the same. Since our heart to heart in the hospital we had gotten closer and I had accepted that, for a while at least, I wouldn't be able to throw anything heavier than a paper aeroplane so I tried not to get too wound up about things he would say.

By the time she had to leave it was getting dark. I was getting nervous about her going home alone in the dark so I asked if Happy and Juice would go with her. They double checked with Clay first and he understood my fears and let them go. I know I was maybe being too careful but Michael had threatened me and the people I loved so now we had broken his son's ribs I wanted to be doubly sure that everyone would be ok.

"You're being so twitchy!" Kimbra chastised me but I could tell she loved the idea of them taking her home.

"Time for us to go to?" Filip asked.

"Yeah just hold on." I said as I hugged Kimbra goodbye.

I told Clay that I was leaving but I still wanted to know what he had to tell me about the Warrens. I wanted to know what was happening with them now that they had taken action against them and he promised me that he would come by the house tomorrow morning to tell me everything. I believed him. He exchanged looks with Filip and the latter nodded.

"Alright," I said, standing from my chair and leaning in to kiss my dad's cheek, "I'll get going now."

"Come on, Sweet Girl," Tig teased and pointed to his cheek, "Chibby gets you all to himself for two nights in a row and I can't even get a kiss anymore!"

"Stop whining," I laughed, "I'm getting to you."

I kissed his cheek and the rest of the guys who stepped forwards to say goodbye. By the time everyone was satisfied I followed Filip out to his motorcycle. I wasn't so nervous this time and I was only slightly terrified when the engine roared.

Driving through the night was even more mesmerising than the day time. When I had trusted the bike, and driver, enough to loosen my grip on him I leaned back and looked up to the stars. With a grin on my face, I left go with my left hand and held my arm out straight. I laughed as the wind flew through my fingers and across my face. I watched the stars unmoving up overhead as we zipped through the town and onto my street. Once the bike stopped, I hesitated to get off.

"Are you alright?" he asked, turning slightly to look at me.

"I don't- I don't think I want to go home just yet."

"I told you, you'd love it."

I looked back at him, returning his smile. I did love it, I felt free and reckless on the back of his motorcycle but at the same time I felt safe with the guy driving it. I liked being close to him, I know we were just friends but Chucky's words were going through my head.

"Alright then, Sweet Girl," he said and reached back to pat my thigh, "I know somewhere we could go."

I nodded and rested my cheek against the reaper on his back as the bike lurched forwards.

Once the engine died down, the silence was deafening. We were on top of a steep hill with the whole of Charming below us and the cleat night sky overhead. I could see the floodlit TM lot and where the clubhouse would be. I swung my leg back over the bike and took off the helmet. I walked a few steps forwards and took a deep breath of the fresh air, ignoring the pain in my lungs as I did so. It was so quiet and serene and I loved it.

"It feels like we're the only people in the world," I whispered, not wanting to break the silence too much, "doesn't it?"

Filip said nothing as he came to stand beside me. We stood in silence for a long time, each in our own thoughts. Despite how calm I was feeling my mind was racing through all sorts of different things. I was thinking about everyone I knew being in danger but also, strangely, I was worried about my mother. She was never a nurturing kind of person, not really, but at some point in my life she had loved me enough to at least try and escape this life. I wondered if somewhere, deep down, I was made for it. I didn't feel bad about Al being injured like that and I hated it.

The truth is that I hadn't really been able to feel anything since Anya died. I reasoned with myself that I had been in shock but two months down the line and the only time I ever thought of her was when I was dreaming. I had cut her out of my life like she hadn't existed when, for a long time, she was the most important person to me.

I hadn't been able to grieve for her; I couldn't go to a funeral or have any memorial. I didn't have any photographs of her, only my memories that were already getting fuzzy and uncertain. I remembered the last conversation I ever had with her when I had said I had been lying to her for our entire friendship. I hadn't told her I loved her.

I felt an arm go around my shoulders and Filip pulled me against my chest with his cheek resting on the top of my head. I relaxed against him, circling my arms under his kutte and hugging him back.

After around a half an hour of standing, Filip had drawn me back to his bike. I had protested quietly against going home but stopped when I saw he was sitting on the grass. I let him pull me down so that my back was resting against his chest and I was sat between his legs. His arms were around my waist and his chin on my shoulder.

"We are friends," I said to him quietly, "aren't we?"

He chuckled and felt him kiss my bare shoulder.

"We're not _just friends_ ," he whispered back, almost inaudibly quiet, "and you fucking know it."

I turned my head to look at him and almost immediately his had captured my lips with his in a soft, short kiss before he pulled away to see my reaction. I looked up at him wide eyed and when he was about to say something, judging from his expression an apology, I put my hand on his cheek and pulled him back down to me. Ignoring the jab in my ribs, I turned so that I was now kneeling over him with my hands holding his face against mine; deepening the kiss.

"Sweet Girl," he mumbled, moving his lips down my neck and to my collar bone, "Viv."

I hummed and tangled my hands into his hair as his made their way up my tank top and glided across the skin of my waist tenderly so he didn't hurt me. His beard felt scratchy against my soft skin but I didn't care. I hissed when his hand grazed my bruises, not because he hurt me but because it was so sensitive that it tickled. He broke away from kissing my body to look at me.

"I'm sorry," he breathed, "I'm sorry."

I shook my head wordlessly wanting to let him know that I wasn't in pain. He kept his eyes fixed on mine as he lifted the bottom of my shirt up. I swallowed, unsure of whether I wanted him to see the size of the bruise on my body, but nodded when he stopped. With one swift, practiced motion my top was on the ground beside us. I smiled and laughed slightly when he made a noise that sounded almost like a growl.

The cold air felt nice in comparison to his hot hands that drew across my skin. He moved my arm so that he could see the extent of my bruise. Filip rested his forehead against my chest, with his arms wrapped around me and I kissed the top of his head.

"I guess we shouldn't do this," he said with a sigh, his cool breath fanning over my stomach, "I don't wanna hurt you."

"You won't," I mumbled against his hair, "I know you won't."

And with my encouragement, not that he needed much of it, he lay me back onto the grass. His hands tugging on my jeans and grabbing at my skin hungrily but I wasn't much better. I pushed his kutte off his shoulders and pulled his shirt up and over his head so I could touch his back, his chest, his stomach, just anywhere I could.

When I looked into his eyes once he had taken a break from kissing me I realised something I think I had known for a long time. I had known even before I was in the hospital, before Nikolai. I knew that wherever Filip Telford was, I would be home. I smiled and laughed at how ridiculously romantic I was being and he gave me the most adorable questioning look.

"What is it?" he asked with his head tilted to the side.

"Nothing I just-" I sighed and pushed back the loose hair that had fallen in front of his face, "I just love you, Filip Telford."

He surprised me by laughing too, his hand left where it was on my thigh and held my cheek.

"You have no idea how long I have been waiting for you to say that," he laughed and kissed my lips tenderly, "I love you Vivania."

 **AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH -** that's all I have to say on the matter.

If you have followed me on Tumblr now (megalodonewithyourbullshit if you haven't) drop me a line so I know who you are and we can start chatting.

Love, Doe

xxxxx


	14. Chapter 13 - His Lady?

Chapter 13 – His Lady?

There's a common misconception about love, I realised now that I was in it, that when you are with that other person you should feel vulnerable and weak with them. That's not true. I think being with them should make you feel strong and like you could conquer the world.

That night, on that hill under the stars, we were the only people that existed and the world was ours. Nothing mattered except for him. Nothing else existed other than the feeling of his lips on mine and his body against me but this wasn't like what I had with Nikolai; just some hook up meant to distract us from what was really happening. It didn't matter how experienced we both were; it was clumsy and tender with lots of swearing and laughter at the craziness of our situation and how absurdly right everything felt.

When he looked into my eyes as his body moved with mine I knew that he needed this just as much as I did. Filip needed this sense of connection and for someone to be gentle with him too; he didn't just want someone that could only give him a 5 minute fuck and be done with it. He wanted- no, needed to be loved just as much as I did.

The elation we felt would come crashing down though when we got back to my house and saw 3 police cars parked up outside. I was worried that Al had contacted the police about smashing his ribs but as we got closer I saw that all of my windows had been smashed and my door had almost been taken off its hinges. My car had also been smashed up and spray painted with offensive words. I gripped onto Filip tighter as Hale came over to the bike. Filip had switched off his bike and amongst the noise and police chatter Hale was asking me about everything. I couldn't speak though.

"Come on, Sweet Girl," Filip murmured and helped me get off the bike.

"You can't go in!" Hale shouted as I pushed passed him to duck under the police tape.

"Ah piss off," Filip growled as he followed me.

I walked in being careful of all the broken glass underfoot and making sure that Filip didn't stand on it either but he didn't seem bothered by it and just stepped on it. He grabbed hold of my hand when I gasped. Everything had been either broken or torn up. My couch was in shreds and the contents of the cushions had been strewn about the place; all the picture frames I had around the place were thrown and smashed; the kitchen was a mess with all the food Gemma had packed for me over the walls and counter tops with bits of smashed crockery and glass over the floor. Upstairs was worse; my bed had been torn up like the couch and my clothes had been emptied out of my wardrobe onto it. It smelled like petrol had been poured over it, like they were going to burn everything but got interrupted.

"What the-" I faltered as I looked at my shredded curtains.

"Has Clay been called?" I heard Filip asking Hale behind me but when I was about to pick up the jumper said, "don't touch anything Hen."

"Just this," I said quietly and grabbed it, the jumper was dry but smelled like oil.

"I can get you another."

I just shook my head and clutched it to my chest before making my way back to him. He smiled sadly at me as I passed him to go back downstairs. Once I found what I was looking for, I went back outside to sit on his bike while I watched the police walking in and out of the house talking on radios and to each other.

The sound of motorcycles dragged me out of my thoughts and I looked around to see the club approaching. The police officers moved to block them off but I saw Clay push through them and come to me. He took me by the shoulders and shook me slightly.

"Vivania? Can you hear me?" he asked and I nodded numbly, "what happened?"

"The Warrens," I said angrily, "it has to be. They tried to burn my clothes, they destroyed everything I own!"

Clay nodded and looked behind him as Filip came out of my house with a serious look on his face. It was his business face, I realised, the same expression he wore when he was beating Al. He clapped Clay on the back.

"Obviously it was breaking and entering," he relayed, "nothing was stolen, tv is there and stuff. A neighbour called it in when they heard the windows break. When they knocked on doors they found Crabb dead. Been dead nearly a month."

I gulped. That's why he hadn't called in when Michael and Christopher went into my house; he was dead already. So, who had I flipped off when I came in drunk? One of their guys I supposed.

"He'd been shot," Filip continued, "they don't think it's related but we know it has to be _them_."

He came closer to me and saw the book he had brought for me in my hands, bundled up with his jumper. They were the only possessions I cared about; everything else was just stuff that filled the house. I was still angry that it had all been destroyed though; I spent so much money on it. I heard someone shouting my name and turned to see Kimbra running up the road with Livia and Cinnamon. She was wearing a thin silk robe over her body and slippers. I hugged her back when she held me.

"I'm ok," I said, "I wasn't in the house."

She looked down and noticed I was wearing the same clothes as she left me in and looked between me and Filip with a small, knowing smile. I couldn't help smirking back but made sure that Clay didn't see.

"Come on," Cinnamon said, "you can stay with us tonight."

"No," Clay commanded, "she's coming back with us. Chibs, you alright taking her?"

Filip nodded and looked at me with a small smile. He put his hand on the back of my neck and kissed the top of my head. I sighed and closed my eyes, trying to think back to not even an hour ago when I was actually happy. Clay coughed and I looked up at him with a blush on my cheeks.

"We'll talk about this," he gestured between us, "when that family has been dealt with. Now come on."

He told the girls to get back to their house and make sure all the windows and doors were locked. Kimbra said they had guns hidden around the house so they would be safe. I squeezed her hand before she left and swung my leg over the other side of the bike so that I was straddling it. I tucked my two prized possessions between Filip and me before wrapping my arms around him tightly.

Riding in the group with the other guys was amazing. They rode in a formation so that Clay was in the front; Filip was on his right and Jax on his left. When I looked behind me I just saw a sea of headlights but I didn't know who was who. The roar of the engines was exciting and I could not only hear them, I could feel the thrum of the engines all around me and it made my heart beat so fast. I looked up at the starry sky and smiled. I noticed Jax looking at me with a grin.

"Riding's in your blood!" He shouted over the sound of the engines, "we knew you couldn't stay away forever."

I guess he was right. My dad was Clay and, although mother didn't have a motorcycle, I grew up around my Uncle John and the club. I just smiled back at him and rested my head against Filip's reaper while clutching the front of his shirt. I reached out to Jax with my left arm and he ducked his bike to meet my hand with his; holding it firmly for a moment before we let go and he went back into formation. I put my arm back around Filip's waist and hugged him tightly. He reached back to put his hand on my knee and rubbed my leg gently.

I noticed that we weren't going to Clay and Gemma's house but instead were on the way to the TM lot. I looked around in confusion but nobody else was fazed, I guess they knew this was the plan. I had no choice but to go along with it.

"What's happening?" I asked Filip.

"Emergency meeting," he called back as he parked up.

Filip got off first and helped me remove my helmet, even though I was perfectly capable of doing it myself. I happily took his hand as he helped me off but didn't let go as we walked across the concrete towards the bar. I felt a hand on my head and knew that it could only be Happy. I looked around and saw him looking at me with the tiniest smile.

"You ok?" Happy asked as he walked on my other side.

"Yeah," I nodded, "I will be once I've had my- oh shit! Filip, I didn't get my tablets from the house."

I heard the Scottish man chuckle then when I looked up at him he patted his chest so I could hear the rattle of the pill bottles.

"It's a good job someone wasn't too busy being sentimental in that house," he laughed and I rolled my eyes at Happy who smiled a bit wider.

"But, _you're_ ok?" Happy asked again and I realised he meant in myself, not just physically.

I thought for a moment before nodding. He seemed satisfied with my answer and put his hand on my shoulder firmly before falling back into step with Juice and Tig. Tig was looking between me and Filip with a lost look on his face but before he could say anything, I was being pulled into a tight hug.

"Are you alright?" Gemma asked, bending down to look into my face.

"Yeah," I nodded, already getting annoyed with the question, "yeah I'm alright."

"We got worried when we heard you weren't in the house. Where were you? You've got grass in your hair Baby."

"It's ok, don't worry."

"Yeah," Filip said with a shrug, "she couldn't sleep and asked if I could take her for a ride around."

I sat with Gemma in the bar while the guys went into the chapel. She helped me take the bits of grass out while quizzing me about Filip and telling me the evidence she had gathered while looking at us both.

"You can't lie to me," she said with a knowing smile, "you have got grass in your hair and Chibs has got mud on his knees. I know what happened, even if your dad wants to be blissfully unaware."

"You think he'll be angry?"

She gave me a look as if to say, are you kidding? And I laughed. I knew he would be angry but I was hoping that he would realise that I was happy, that Filip made me happy, and would come to accept it in time. I was thankful that he would wait until the Warrens were dealt with before he concentrated on us though; he might see that Filip and I would look after each other.

When they finally came out, the guys surrounded me and Gemma as she was tying my hair back up. Clay sat in front of me and gave me a quick rundown on what they had just spent almost an hour discussing.

"So," Clay said with a small sigh and folded his hands on the table in front of him, "here's what's going down. Hap and Tig are gonna go with you and Chibs to your house tomorrow to pick up anything you need to stay here."

"Here?" I asked, baffled, "at the clubhouse? I thought you meant with you and Gemma."

"They won't dare come into the lot," Jax said, "so you'll be safer here than at any house."

"Ok… then what? What are you gonna do about the Warrens?"

"We're gonna beat them at their own game. Juice hacked into their accounts and we know where their warehouse is. Since we took their business, they have got guns just lying around. We're gonna blow it up."

" _Or_ steal the guns and sell them on?"

"We don't have enough guys for that. It's just us Vee, unless we get some nomads in and ask some boys from across the border."

I shrugged. It wasn't up to me but I just thought it was just a load of waisted money just sat there just to get blown up. I could see his mind whirring though; he was tempted to do my idea but I decided to let them know they probably shouldn't do it, too high of a risk factor but he seemed interested now and he was just as stubborn as I was so it would be hard to talk him out of it. I hoped that maybe if I appealed to him as his daughter I would make him think twice.

"Dad," I said and put my hand on his, "the risk is too high and I don't want to lose any of you. Ok? I'd rather you just blow it up; it would make a bigger statement."

"Yeah," Clay nodded, "you're right. We don't know how many guys they have."

I nodded back happily as Gemma threw my now tidy braid over my shoulder. She interrupted our conversation to ask about my wrists. I hadn't really thought about them since they were bandaged but when I looked down I saw my bandages had become tatty and loose. I gave her my hands so that she could unravel them. I couldn't help wincing when I saw the newly opened wounds.

"You need to get these cleaned sweetheart," Gemma said with a wrinkled nose, "they'll get infected."

"Did you pick up the antiseptic cream?" I asked Filip.

"Aye."

Out of his various pockets, he pulled all of my stuff. I saw Clay smile slightly as Filip looked at me with a smile in his warm brown eyes. I was thankful that he had had the thought to grab everything I needed before he left the house because I certainly wasn't thinking about anything other than "holy shit my house has been destroyed." He was just a caring guy. Dangerous, yeah, but also kind and caring. Once all my medications and stuff were on the table, he stood to go to the bar.

When he came back, he was wearing his glasses and had a bowl of warm water and a medi-kit. Jax clapped him on the shoulder as he and a few of the other guys stood to leave. Clay and Gemma stayed with us and Happy watched intrigued as Filip washed my wrists with a soft cloth and the warm water. It was quiet, only the sound of his quiet apologies when I would flinch. He was wiping away the old scabs that had been building up as the wounds opened, and the bits of skin that had flaked off the blisters. Once they were cleaned up, Gemma kissed the side of my head and told Clay and Happy to leave us too it. Clay didn't seem to be too happy about this development but did as his wife said and went to the bar for one last drink. I was glad because, even though he was only tending to me, it felt kind of like an intimate moment. He put some latex gloves on as he applied the antiseptic cream over the cuts.

"You should let these breath for a while," Filip said as he took off the gloves and held my wrists so he could look at them closer, "they need to develop strong scabs so they can stop splitting."

I made a face that I hoped conveyed my disgust with the idea but he gave me a look that told me he wouldn't be backing down if I argued. I sighed with a small smile as he rubbed his thumbs over the inside of my wrists where I my skin wasn't split. He was quiet for a while before telling me to move my hair so he could get the burns on the back of my neck. He was gentle even though they didn't really hurt anymore.

"I hate these," he murmured.

"Of all of my injuries? Why?"

I turned my head to look at him but he turned it back so he could continue down the nape of my neck and the couple of burns on my back and shoulders.

"Because these are gonna scar. The bruises will go and your wrists will heal up nicely if you keep them open. They were deliberately done to you. They did this on purpose."

"They broke my ribs on purpose too."

He was quiet but pulled me back so he could kiss the top of my head. He told me again that he was going to get them. Clay came over and told me that he and Gemma were going to go home with the other guys but that Filip was going to stay in the clubhouse with me. They all bid me goodbye and told me to stay safe. Before Jax left though, he said that Clay probably didn't want me to stay at the clubhouse but was letting Filip and I have some time together. Maybe he was going to be more accepting of this than I thought.

"Come on, Sweet Girl," Filip said once everyone had left, "you need to get some sleep. God knows I do."

He led me back to the dorms. I thought it was just going to be a random one but he seemed to have a preference. It must have been his because he pulled out a set of keys to open it. Going in was strange; everything inside was so… him. I didn't have much time to look around though. Once he had shut and locked the door, Filip came behind me with his arms around my waist and his lips on my shoulder. He walked me over to the edge of the bed to sit me down. I thought we were going to have sex again when he took my tank top off but I was surprised when it was replaced with a large, soft white t shirt.

"You've looked after us," he whispered to me when he knelt between my legs and took my face in his hands, "so let me look after you now."

I nodded before kissing him softly then he lay me back to take off my jeans and underwear. He removed his own clothes but it still didn't lead to sex. We lay under the blankets, with my head tucked under his and his arms around me. He drew patterns over my back as I fought to stay awake. I didn't want to sleep because I wanted to enjoy the feeling of being in his arms like this and I was worried that if I slept, he would be gone in the morning like every other guy I had been with.

"Sleep," he said quietly, "I'm still gonna be here tomorrow."

"Can you read minds?"

"No Lass, I can just read you. Now, go to sleep."

I snuggled in closer to him, if that was even possible, and finally let myself drift off.

I felt like I had only been asleep for 5 minutes when there was a loud knock on the door. Filip was awake immediately and sat up but I found it a bit more difficult to wake up. It was so cold without him so I pulled the blankets up around me to try and fall back asleep. He wasn't the most stealthy when he was getting dressed with lots of cursing when he couldn't find the clothes he wanted. The door was being hit again and he sighed aggressively.

"Stop fucking banging, I'm awake!" he called angrily but it didn't end, "I said stop!"

"Oh, were you asleep?" Tig said with a laugh once the door was open, "sorry brother."

"You know I was asleep. What do you want?"

I turned over to glare at the other man who was grinning. He walked in, ignoring Filip's protests, and sat on the bed in front of me. In a rare moment of tenderness, Tig put his hand on my shoulder and asked if I was alright.

"I was," I said grumpily, "until someone woke me up by bashing the door in."

"Sorry sweetheart, I just wanted to see you were safe. I wanted to warn you in case you were getting busy. Why didn't Clay assign me to look after you? It's just not fair."

The tender moment was over but it was nice while it lasted.

"Just the luck of the draw I'm afraid, I think he chose the best guy for the job."

"Alright brother," Filip said before the other man could reply, as he grabbed Tig by the scruff of the neck and marched him back to the door, "leave my lady alone to rest."

I blushed when he called me his lady, I didn't know he would think of me that way already. It hadn't even been 24 hours since I had told him that I loved him but here he was, calling me his lady. Once the door was closed and locked again he looked back and saw my smile. He looked at me confused before the realisation dawned on his face.

"Ah, sorry love. I didn't-"

"You think of me as your lady already?"

"I've thought of you as my lady for a long time."

I grinned wider as he came over to sit where Tig had just been forced to vacate. We were silent for a while before I sat up stiffly. Immediately, Filip was stood up and grabbing me a glass of water and my painkillers. He was taking this looking after me very seriously. I thanked him before popping a couple of them in my mouth and gulping down some water. He sat with me while they kicked in before helping me stand up and taking me over to the bathroom.

"Here," he said as he turned the shower on and took off his shirt, "hop in."

"With you?" I asked, incredulous.

"You don't want to shower with me Sweet Girl?"

"No I just- I haven't ever showered with anyone else before. All of my relationships are kind of… hit and run."

He smiled at me and took off the grey sweatpants he had thrown on when Tig had knocked before grabbing the bottom of my shirt and swiping it over my head. I pulled his face down to mine to kiss him deeply as he put his hands on my waist and pulled my body to his. Things got quite heated quite quickly and he took us back to the bedroom. I knew he was holding back and was being as gentle as possible so that he didn't jolt my ribs too much. I was kind of grateful to be honest though I couldn't wait until I was fully healed to see what it was like when he wasn't holding back.

"You're my lady," he murmured into my neck as he moved his hips against mine, "you're _my_ sweet girl. _Mo chailín milis."_

I tugged his hair gently so I could look into his face and he rested his forehead against mine. I mumbled incoherently, not wanting to make any noise in case anyone was in the clubhouse. He laughed quietly before ducking down to kiss my neck again. We whispered quiet a "I love you" to each other before I felt his body tense and I gripped onto him tightly.

In the shower, Filip helped me wash my hair and kept commenting on how long it was, telling me I was beautiful and stunning and perfect. I laughed but told him to keep the compliments coming. I repaid the favour by washing his hair as best I could and showering him with compliments too which made him laugh and blush. It was nice to see him genuinely happy and relaxed. It was so rare that I decided I would compliment him all the time. I called him handsome and sweet and sexy.

"Alright, Sweet Girl," he chuckled softly, "I think we're clean enough. The guys are probably waiting."

"I never want to leave," I sighed and wrapped my arms around his waist, "I want to stay in here forever."

"You'll look all old and wrinkly like me though Sweet Girl."

"You're not old! Just older than me."

"And that doesn't bother you?"

I shook my head seriously and pulled him down to kiss his nose which made him smile enough to show his dimples. I hoped he would understand that I really did love him.

"You're a very handsome older man," I said with my hands holding his hips and kissed his chest up his neck to his jawline between every few words, "and I love you. I don't care what anyone else says."

Whatever he was going to say was interrupted by more bashing at the door to the dorm but I had barely heard it over the sound of the shower. Filip groaned in frustration and asked what they wanted. We could hear someone saying something but I couldn't understand what they were saying Filip seemed to hear it though and sighed.

"Your dad wants to see me," he said, "you finish up here love. I'll see you outside."

I hummed in agreement against his jaw and, with one final irritated groan, he stepped out. The shower felt huge without him in there but I could easily finish washing myself without his wandering hands interrupting me. Once I was done, I dried my hair and body, put on one of his shirts and my jeans before having a poke around his room. I saw a picture in a frame on his bedside table. It was of his wife, Fiona and his daughter. I knew he had a wife and kid, Jax had told me about them but Filip rarely spoke of them and I didn't ask. I tried not to think about how I was maybe just a replacement for his wife and put the photo back down.

I slipped my boots on and padded out to the bar where I was just in time to see Clay swing his fist at Filip. I shrieked in horror and went to run over but I was held back by Happy. I shouted at him to let me go but he held me tightly, telling me that the two men needed to sort this out. But I refused to accept this and struggled against him even harder as Filip swung back and hit my dad in the face; catching him in the cheek and his rings cutting his skin. The rest of the crew gathered around, cheering them on and shouting. Happy held me still, being careful of my ribs and wrists, as the two men fought.

Suddenly, I had an idea to make Happy let go of me. I hated thinking that I would have to make Happy feel bad about anything but I also didn't want Filip to beat the shit out of my dad because he was quite clearly winning. Although it was difficult to tell who was winning because both men were now covered in blood and red in the face. Physical violence was always hard for me to see and the sound of fists making contact made me feel sick.

I gasped and shouted to Happy that he was hurting me so he immediately let me go. As soon as his arms were released I barged through the guys and shouted at them both. They stopped fighting immediately and looked at me, panting heavily but with scowls on their faces while I stood with my arms folded.

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" I shouted and looked between them, "you have got a war on your hands and you decide that you're going to start a brawl at-" I checked the time, "-10:30 in the morning? You're as bad as children!"

"They're just settling a disagreement like men, Darlin'" Jax said as if I was just going to accept them beating each other up.

"Don't get me started on you lot!" I whipped around to face the others, "Cheering them on like a rabble of school boys. Don't you have work to be doing? Go on then, go!"

They skulked away muttering under their breaths, Happy smiled slightly at me and looked a bit proud which made me feel pleased with myself but I didn't show it on my face. He ruffled my wet hair but walked away with the rest of them leaving me to deal with the two, fully grown adult men who had just been fighting. They looked amused until I fixed them with a harsh glare then their faces fell into both embarrassed and annoyed expressions. I could tell that Clay wasn't impressed with his daughter telling him and his guys what to do, much less have them following my orders, and Filip was embarrassed that "his lady" had told him off.

"Go and clean yourselves up!" I ordered and pointed to the dorms, "I'll speak to you two as soon as you can behave like grown-ups!"

Clay was opened his mouth to protest, but I jabbed my finger once more and they also wandered away, talking about me.

"Teller women will be the death of me," I heard Clay sigh and Filip laughed.

I sat smugly in the bar, eating some cereal, while my dad and Filip cleaned themselves up and the guys walked around doing… whatever they did during the day. It looked like a whole lot of nothing to me but they seemed to be making themselves look busy so I would leave them alone. The power had definitely gone to my head. I just got an entire biker gang to do what I say and it felt great. When I had finished my food, the two newly cleaned up men sat in the booth in front of me looking ashamed. Clay was looking distinctly worse than Filip and I had a weird sense of pride for the latter. I guess that's just something you get from hanging out with a biker gang every day for 3 months.

"You both look like shit," I told them and sipped my orange juice, "you should be ashamed of yourselves."

"Pumpkin," Clay appealed, "you've got to understand that this is how we settle things."

"I don't have to do anything. If you have a problem you should talk about it instead of beating each other into bloody messes."

"Sweet Girl," Filip tried but I held up my hand to stop him.

"Don't try and talk yourself out of this Filip Telford. I am angry at you both."

They sat at a loss for words as I faced them with my arms folded and a scowl on my face. I noticed Filip smiling and was so confused by his reaction. Clay explained that he wanted to make sure that Filip was serious about being with me and that he would be able to protect me if something were to happen. It didn't cut it as an explanation for me.

"Do you want me to be happy, Clay?"

"Of course, Pumpkin."

"Then accept what's going on. We haven't even discussed what this is yet so how we would be able to explain it to you I have no idea. I am happy, Filip is happy – I think, and you should be happy that I am happy. There are more important things to focus on right now."

"We needed to get this done though sweetheart otherwise we wouldn't be able to focus on the Warrens."

"Address the elephant in the room," Filip shrugged.

I threw my hands up in frustration but decided that this was taking too long and if I wanted to get my stuff and see what the police had to say about the break in I would have to just let this go. I stood up, expressing my unhappiness but telling Filip to stand up and come with me to the police station. Clay laughed when he stood up like he was on wires and followed me out of the bar. I went straight over to his bike and waited while he sloped across the lot towards me.

"Nicely done Hen," he said when he got to me, "looks like you've got us all wrapped around your little finger."

"I knew that already," I said with a light laugh, "now come on. I want to see what's happening with the house."

He waved Tig and Happy over and hopped on the bike in front of me. One of the most useful things about riding on the back of a motorcycle was that it dried my hair quickly. The downside to this was that it was a tangled mess when I got off at the police station.

We walked in, something that the guys didn't do voluntarily very often, and went to find Hale. He sat me down at a desk with the guys hovering behind me protectively. I could tell Hale was uncomfortable with them doing so but they refused to leave so he just accepted it and focused on talking to me. he was asking me about potential enemies and people that would have it out for me but I lied and told him that I hadn't really spoken to many people since I arrived, only the club. I feel like I did a fairly good job of lying to him, even breaking out the crocodile tears when I was telling him how scared I was feeling.

"You don't have anything to worry about, we have found some fingerprints that we're running through the system," Hale said gently, handing me a box of tissues, "so we should have some results soon. We're gonna catch the guy that did this."

"Thank you, officer," I sniffed and dabbed at my eyes with a tissue, "do you know if they stole anything?"

"Nothing appears to be missing, it just looks like criminal damage. Now, I have to ask, do you think this may be connected with your attack a few weeks back? It seems highly likely that it would be the same guy. There was no sign of forced entry so either you let them in or they had a key, which you said had been taken from under your mat."

"I don't know…" I faltered and looked up at Filip to ask him to help me; I didn't know what else I could say that wouldn't look suspicious.

"Can she get anything from the house?" He asked immediately, "she's got no clothes or anything."

"I'm afraid not, every clothing item has either been doused in gasoline or shredded. Now, Miss Teller, when we canvassed your neighbourhood and asked your neighbours if they saw anything they mentioned that, on the week of your attack, they saw two men skulking around the back of your house and into the home of the late Mr Crabb. We think that the men that attacked you were the same that killed your neighbour."

"We went around the back of her house," Happy said suddenly, "when we went to check on her."

I nodded quickly and told him that it was just the one man that had attacked me. I also mentioned that Crabb was a curtain twitcher so maybe he saw the guys face and that's why he was killed. Hale nodded thoughtfully but told me that the bullet used to kill the old man was from a specialised weapon, used mainly by the Italian Mafia and American Special Forces. I was very quickly running out of ideas and lies to tell him but my confusion must have been obvious because he stopped the questioning let me go, telling me just to stay somewhere safe for the time being and he would contact me as soon as the fingerprints had been analysed.

Before we left, Filip caught Chief Unser's elbow and spoke to him in a low voice, telling me to wait outside with Tig and Happy. I wasn't too pleased with being told what to do but he had an expression on his face that made me think that he wasn't open to argument. While we waited I apologised to Happy for making him think he had hurt me but explained that I couldn't just let the two guys hurt each other

"Don't worry," Happy shrugged and nodded towards Filip as he approached, "you did well."

Tig made a comment about Filip being under the thumb already to which Filip didn't deny and only kissed me on the forehead gently. He let us know that Unser was going to try and get Hale off the scent and make him follow a false lead to give them time to get to the Warrens before the police did.

I kept thinking I saw the Warrens car on the way home. It was just flashes and small glimpses around corners in the town but it was only quick. I gripped tighter to Filip but didn't say anything; I didn't want them to know I was scared. We now knew that they had specialist guns and equipment and we were vulnerable on the bikes. It was a frightening thought but I pushed it down until I saw the car approaching us. It was going fast down our side of the road. Filip swore and swerved to get on the other side of the road with the other two behind us. I gasped in shock at the sudden movement then flinched violently as I heard gun fire from behind me.

When I looked behind me I saw that Happy and Tig had their guns out and were now shooting towards the white car; shooting out the wheels. The screech of brakes filled the air as the car swerved off the road into the surrounding rough terrain. Filip slowed to a stop and looked back. I hadn't taken my eyes off of the vehicle so I saw Michael getting out of the back of the car with a large gun in hand and some other guys following him. If I wasn't fearing for the lives of my family, I would have made a comment about it being like a clown car. I shouted at Filip to keep moving, saying the same to Happy and Tig; I didn't want them to do anything stupid. Happy looked less than pleased about having to leave the fight but made himself feel better by shooting back and getting two of the goons in the head; making blood splatter on the clean white exterior of the car and Michael jumped back into the back.

Happy stopped his bike and turned back around. He got shot in the shoulder but didn't stop shooting until all the goons had been killed. I shouted, or more like screamed, his name and he looked back at me with shock on his usually stoic face. He nodded to me once, understanding that I really didn't want him putting himself in danger. He sped up to join us up the road.

Once the bikes had stopped in the TM lot I jumped off and ripped the helmet off my head. I ran to Happy to look at the bullet hole in his shoulder. Blood was pouring from the wound and I gagged but asked him if he was alright. He waved me off, as if to tell me to stop fussing, but I refused and dragged him into the clubhouse. I let Filip take over the first aid as I made sure that Happy was alright.

"Oh God," I cried, "your mum is going to be so angry with me."

"Stop crying girl," Happy sighed with a wince as Filip pulled the bullet out of his shoulder.

I couldn't stop crying though. I kept apologising to him and touching his face, saying I didn't want to lose him too. Happy actually laughed at me and moved my hands away from his head; covering my hands in his blood and I wanted to throw up but I didn't want to leave him. He let me hug his head against my stomach though, with a reluctant sigh and put his arm around my hips to hold me against him.

"You're so soft," Filip told me with a smirk, "he's gonna be fine."

"I just want to keep you all safe."

Happy nestled his face into my stomach with another sigh as Clay came storming in to demand someone tell him what happened. Filip filled him in with the details as he stitched Happy's wound together. Clay was furious. He was raving at the guys about how they could let someone shoot at me and asking why they weren't more careful until I shouted at him, letting him know that there wasn't much they could have done with a group of 6 guys and my stepdad shooting at them.

"We can get them back Boss," Tig said with a shrug, "just need to get someone watching them and see where they go."

"They go to a strip club in town," Happy said, his voice muffled against my stomach, "I've seen that guy in there with your mom."

"My mother is a stripper?" I asked before Clay could say anything, "that's terrible."

"She is a waitress. They go in every Friday night."

"That's tomorrow," Clay said and scratched his chin, "once this is all cleaned up you all need to come into the chapel for a meeting."

They nodded and Tig pulled out his phone to start calling the guys that had dispersed since this morning. I didn't want them to hit the club but I knew they couldn't just let one of their guys get shot without getting back at them somehow. I worried that not only would they get hurt, but also that my mother would be hurt too. I always felt so conflicted when it came to my mother. On the one hand, I hated her with every fibre of my being but on the other, she had been drawn into this life and forced to be her husband's punching bag.

"What if Mother gets hurt?" I asked them quietly.

"She only wanted you back so her husband would stop hitting her and hit you instead," Happy said against my stomach and squeezing me, "she doesn't deserve you to feel sorry for her."

 **The word analysing has the word anal in it and I laughed for longer than I would care to admit –** a catchy tag line, huh? I had literally never typed out analysing before and now I can't un-see it. Yes, I am a child.

I can't wait for there to be a huge shoot up in the strip club, I feel like I have been waiting my whole life to write out a gun fight. Is that sad? Probably.

Anyway, I hope you like this one! Thank you to Imaginemotherofdragons for your review, I'm happy that I made you happy and to slytherinxgryffindor12 who found me on tumblr! I tried to see if I could stalk you on tumblr but I wasn't sure if you were under the same name or not, LOL.

Enjoy! Hopefully a new chapter will be up soon!

Lots of love, from

Doe

xxxxxx


	15. Chapter 14 - Darling You Are Insatiable

Chapter 14 – Darling, You Are Insatiable

 **Hey guys, please read to the end, I need your help again!**

" _If you get shot," Jax said to Chibs when they had stopped, "she's gonna be pissed."_

 _Chibs laughed and shook his head, "she's already pissed that Happy's coming."_

" _She's not my boss," Happy said as he caught up with the other two guys, "but if I get shot again don't tell her."_

 _They laughed together as they entered the strip club. There was no fear from them, only jovial jokes between the brothers. Clay pointed to a table on the far left of the darkened room where Caitlyn Teller was delivering some drinks. She had just placed them down when she looked up with a panicked expression. Clay looked at her in confusion; she wasn't the hot young blonde she had been when he had slept with her that one time, she looked like shit._

" _He's not here," Happy said as he looked around at all the people in the club._

" _Neither of them are," Clay said as he started moving his way towards the woman._

 _Tig and Happy jeered at the men in suits, recognising it as the uniform of the Warrens men. They shouted over the music and made rude hand gestures to the amusement of the other men with them. The Suits shouted back in gruff, southern voices and threatened them with their guns. At the slightest movement towards the holsters on their hips, Happy pulled out his gun and fired at them. The few bullets that he had fired caught one man in the chest and caused strippers and patrons to go running for the doors. The Suits immediately retaliated with their own gunfire. Before they could dive behind some cover, Chibs yelled in anger as a bullet hit then passed through his left forearm._

 _Clay grabbed Caitlyn by the arm and roughly pulled her away from the thumping music and gunfire. She tried to struggle against him but even with his painful hands, she couldn't get free. He threw her against a wall in the cloakroom. She scrambled to regain her balance but he pushed her back against the wall, looking into her eyes dangerously._

" _Where are they?" he asked her gruffly._

" _Who?"_

" _Don't play stupid Caitlyn."_

 _She sighed and folded her arms, not unlike the way that Vivania did when she was holding her tongue. Caitlyn told him that the two heads of the Warrens were at their compound outside of town "dealing with business". She seemed unfazed by the shots being fired behind them but was more concerned about how Clay was looking at her. She squirmed under his gaze and tightened her arms around herself. She still loved him, he realised, even after 15 years of being away from him. He put his hand beside her head on the wall and leaned in close to her face._

" _Tell your husband," Clay said lowly, "that he is never getting my daughter back. I will kill him and everything else he loves if he even tries. If he ever hurts another hair on her head he will lose his, do you understand?"_

 _Caitlyn nodded quickly, swallowing before ducking under his arm and running into the dressing room. Through the half open door he could see her pulling out her phone from her pocket but he wasn't letting her go that easily. He slammed the door open and stalked into the dressing room, ignoring the cowering club workers and kept his icy blue eyes fixed on the woman in front of him._

" _Do you know what he did to our kid?" Clay asked her angrily but continued without giving her a chance to reply, "he broke her ribs, Caitlyn. He burnt the back of her neck with his cigarette. He tied her so tightly that her wrists are cut and not healing properly. How can you stand by while you know he was doing that to your daughter?"_

" _I warned her," Caitlyn spat venomously and threw a shoe at his head which he deflected with a practised arm movement, "I told her that would happen."_

" _You bitch! Get out of here and tell those shitheads that I'm going to rip their heads from their bodies with my bare hands."_

 _Caitlyn dashed passed him out of the door, almost tripping on her shoes as she did so. Clay smirked at the workers and nodded with a polite, "ladies," and a wink before going out to join his guys in the thrall of gunfire._

 _Jax ducked behind the table with a laugh as he felt a bullet graze passed his face. Chibs glared at him and shot out a couple of bullets which hit a man in the chest. The younger man rolled his eyes as he reloaded his gun and rolled dramatically to the next table to join Happy, Juice and Tig. Happy's shoulder had split open again, causing blood to spread through his white t shirt and down his arm. He couldn't help thinking, through the gunfire, that Viv was going to kill him for pulling his stitches._

 _The gunfire didn't stop until all the guys in suits were either dead or escaping through the fire escape in the back of the club. The Sons of Anarchy guys followed quickly, jumping over dead bodies and pushing passed the strippers and other patrons of the club. They saw that there were three sleek black cars parked outside the club and one pulling away. The men shot at the body and tires of the cars. Jax shot the last bullet of his gun at the getaway car. The rear window smashed and the car ran off the road; the bullet had caught the driver in the back of the head. It crashed into a lamp post but disappointingly didn't catch on fire like in the movies._

" _Is anyone hit?" Clay asked and looked around at his guys then saw Chibs holding his arm; Happy bleeding from the shoulder and Jax with the bullet graze on his cheek, "oh shit. Viv is going to kill me. Get in the van, Tara is back at the clubhouse she can patch you all up."_

 _Going back into the clubhouse to face their girl was more frightening than having to go into the strip club to fight the Warrens men. There was an air of tension when they pulled into the lot and started back into the clubhouse. They walked through the door and there she was, pacing back and forth with her arms folded. She looked up with hopeful eyes when the door opened but her face fell when she saw the blood not only on her man but on her cousin and Happy as well._

" _Are you fucking kidding?!" she shouted at Happy who just stood still with wide eyes, "I told you not to go! I told you that this would happen! I can't believe you didn't listen to me!"_

 _Happy stood silently with his eyes still wide and shocked while the much smaller, younger woman scolded him like she was his mother. Chibs couldn't help smiling at his lady even though she was now going off on him for being shot in the arm. He just pulled her to his chest, ignoring the pain in his arm when he did so, and kissed the top of her head until she stopped raving like a madwoman and wrapped her arms around his waist with her head on his chest, telling him she was glad they were home._

I felt sick when I saw the bullet hole in Filip's arm. He kept telling me not to worry but I couldn't help flitting from one bleeding man to another. Tara told me to keep a pressure on Happy's shoulder while she examined Filip. I'm pretty sure she only told me to do that so I would stop getting in her way and fussing over Filip. She was stitching him up but I couldn't watch. Happy patted me awkwardly on the back while I pressed some rolled up gauze on his shoulder.

"You are so stupid," I hissed at him, "when my ribs get better you are in so much trouble."

Happy just laughed slightly but winced when he had hurt his shoulder. I laughed as Tara waved Jax away from her, telling him that he really wasn't her priority since he only had a grazed face and no holes in his body that shouldn't already be there.

"Come on Babe," he appealed, "I need medical attention too! Look, I'm bleeding!"

"Vee," Tara sighed without looking up, as she wound a bandage around Filip's arm, "can you please hand your cousin a Band-Aid?"

I reached into the first aid kit and passed him the smallest plaster I could find. It was Disney Princess themed and bright pink. He gave me a sarcastic smile but opened it up and put it over his cheek. I laughed again and Happy surprised me by letting out a deep chuckle himself.

Once Tara had finished with Filip she moved over to Happy, changed latex gloves and asked me to remove my hands from his shoulder. The blood oozed out of his shoulder rather than poured now. He looked down at his skin with nothing more than vague interest as she tweezed out the old thread to restitch his shoulder back together. Filip told me to go and hug Happy since he looked so distraught. I could tell he was being sarcastic and messing around since my last reaction to Happy being shot was so dramatic. I shot him a withering look and stood up to wash the blood off my hands, he followed me to his dorm and into the bathroom.

"Don't try and get on my good side Filip Telford," I grumbled while scrubbing my hands with the soap, "you're gonna be in trouble too."

He was silent as he stepped behind me, trapping me between the sink and him and he wrapped his arms around my waist. He kissed along my t-shirt clad shoulder up my neck then finally my cheek.

"You promise?" he growled lowly.

I rolled my eyes at him in the mirror, hoping to convey how little I was being turned on by him right now. He caught my gaze in the reflection and sighed with his head resting on my shoulder. Once I had finished washing my hands for the third time I turned around in Filip's arms with my hands on his cheeks; making sure he was looking at me seriously. I ran my thumbs over his scars which caused him to close his eyes with a content sigh.

"I promise," I whispered to him.

His eyes snapped open. He smirked and went to kiss me but I stopped him just millimetres away and shook my head. I told him that he needed to go to bed to rest because I didn't want him overexerting himself and possibly pulling his stitches like Happy. He had rolled his eyes but did as he was told. He had asked me to help him change, feigning pain and I obliged before tucking him in bed with a quick kiss on his forehead.

"You're so cute," I chuckled at him, he had the blankets pulled all the way up to his chin and his eyes half closed.

"I've been called many things, Sweet Girl, but cute is rarely one of them."

"Well I think you're adorable. Go to sleep and I'll be back soon."

"Yes Ma," Filip yawned with a small nod before closing his eyes fully.

I ran my hands through his rough and tangled hair until I heard his soft snores. I planted one last kiss on his face before standing up.

"You need help with anything?" I asked Tara when I came back into the bar.

Tara looked up from where she was securing a bandage on Happy's shoulder asked if I could help clean up. I obviously said yes and set to washing and disinfecting the tables that she had been using. It was quiet for a while with only the rustling of my trash bag in the air until I took a deep breath and looked up at Clay who had sat by and watched all the first aid.

"Did you get them?" I asked him but felt disappointment sink my heart when he shook his head with a scowl.

"They weren't there but I saw your mom. She looks like crap."

"Yeah, she did when I saw her. Did she have bruises? Was she ok?"

He chuckled and sipped his beer, "she looked fine, I couldn't see any marks on her. Where's Chibs?"

"Hm? Oh, I sent him to bed."

"God," Tig laughed, "he is so _whipped._ He needs to man up!"

"I think its sweet," Tara said and smiled at me, "it's good that he does what you say. I know what it's like dealing with a disobedient man."

She shot a look at Jax who just winked at her. I laughed with her. I hadn't really got much chance to talk to Tara over the months that I had been in Charming, only really when I was looking after Abel while her and Jax were both at work but that was only a quick chat but since she had frequently checked on me while I was in the hospital and brought me things that I might need when Gemma was busy. We had gotten to be quite friendly but not really best friends like I was with Kimbra. I had the feeling that she kind of looked down on Kimbra and the other girls, preferring to stay at home during parties.

"Chibs is old," Jax said in response to his girlfriend's jibes, "he's way too tired to even try and argue with her."

I huffed and folded my arms while fixing him with a glare. I wanted to tell them that even though Filip was older, he was better in bed than any other guy I had ever been with but decided that that was probably not something that my dad would want to hear. Jax wouldn't mind, I'm sure and Tig would definitely revel in knowing all the gory details but I decided that I would keep them to myself. I just made a flippant comment about him being able to keep up with the rest of them, even beating Clay in their little brawl yesterday. Clay blamed that on his hands but I just raised an eyebrow.

"I'm going," Happy announced as soon as Tara stepped away from him, "bye."

"Straight to bed, young man," I ordered him, "I'll see you tomorrow."

Happy rolled his eyes and ruffled my hair before turning to leave. Clay laughed, mentioning that since everyone, including himself, did as I said I should perhaps become the president of the Sons. I shook my head with a small smile. I had considered that too but since women weren't allowed I thought they would perhaps be less than pleased to take orders from me directly rather than through my dad. I stayed and talked to the others for a while, just about what had happened at the club, finding out what had happened and laughing at Juice, Jax and Tig's collective disappointment that the car hadn't exploded into flames when it had ran into the lamppost. It was a strange but good feeling sitting awake in the clubhouse at 3:30am, not drunk or drinking, just talking to my family. I smiled when I realised I had included Tig and Juice under that title; I had gone from having almost no family to having more than I knew what to deal with. It was nice.

It went quiet suddenly and everyone looked behind me. I turned slowly as the smell of Filip's cigarettes wafted over me. He was stood at the entrance to the dorms hallway with a cigarette between his fingers, a major bedhead and a disgruntled look on his face. I bit back my laughter at his appearance. Clay chuckled quietly and told the boys that they should probably leave us to whatever argument was going to happen.

"Nah," Tig laughed, "me and Juicey are staying in the dorms tonight too. We don't want anything unsavoury to happen while our princess is sleeping. Besides, Chibs is _too old_ to argue with Vee."

"Not too old to kick your arse though Tiggy," Filip said around his cigarette, his voice thick with sleep and his accent getting stronger, "I could take you any day."

I realised that he had been dampening his accent down but on certain times he would let his Scottish accent really show. The first time I had slept with him was the first time I had heard the majesty that was his husky, Scottish voice. I felt my pulse race just thinking about it but pushed those feelings down and fixed Filip with a small glare.

"You're supposed to be asleep, Darling," I said gently, "stop picking fights with people."

Filip's unhappy expression softened when I called him Darling and made a mental note to call him Darling more. He smiled, or more like grinned, at me. I felt myself melt at the sight of his dimples and wanted to squeal obnoxiously but reminded myself that we weren't alone and he had a certain tough guy image to keep up around my dad and the other guys, even if he said he wasn't afraid of looking stupid.

"You were taking too long," he told me.

"It's been an hour," Jax laughed as he checked the clock on the wall, "are you really that needy already?"

"Stop it Jax," Tara scolded, "it's sweet. You should be happy that your cousin has got someone that cares about her."

Filip and I looked at Jax smugly and he rolled his eyes, standing up and letting Tara know that they should get going; Gemma had Abel but they needed to go to bed. I hadn't known that Tara had work in a matter of hours, I felt bad for making them stay and talk but Tara waved away my apologies. I told her that she needs to teach me some basic first aid so I could help out next time, Clay said that was a good idea and they all went home; leaving me stood in the quiet bar with Filip, Tig and Juice.

"Right." I said and clapped sharply, "Bed."

"You can't tell us what to do, we're not your guys," Tig retorted then bowed his head when I shot him a glare, "yes ma'am." he added quietly.

Juice echoed him and they traipsed passed Filip into the dorms. The Scottish man laughed at them, saying they were just as whipped as he was until I told him to go to bed as well. I smirked at him and stood to tuck myself under his arm as we walked back to our room. As soon as the door was closed and locked, he grabbed me by the hips and stared to kiss me amorously. A part of me was vaguely disgusted by his need for sex even though he most likely killed people tonight. I guess it was just all in a day's work for them though. I think that made me feel worse.

"Not tonight," I mumbled to him, "we're both in pain and I don't want Tig and Juice to be scarred for life."

"I won't be scarred," I heard Tig's voice through the wall, "come on Vee!"

"Go to sleep!" I called to him and heard him groan in response.

Although I had told the boys to go to sleep, I lay awake just staring out into the darkness with Filip's arm over my waist. I wasn't in any pain or anything but I just couldn't stop wandering what was going to happen when Michael and Christopher will do once they find out about what happened with the strip club. I didn't want to think about it, I just couldn't help but fear the worst. It was like Filip could read my mind because he trailed lazy kisses along my shoulder and mumbled something into my neck.

"Hm?" I asked quietly.

"Stop thinking and go to sleep."

I sighed and turned onto my back so I could look at him. He was awake now too, dark eyes looking at my face with concern. He stroked my hair away from my face gently with his own quiet sigh.

"What's troubling you, Hen?" he asked softly.

I looked at him for a long time in silence, just looking over his face. I couldn't believe he was mine now after I had been convincing myself for so long that we were just friends. I didn't want to lose him now that I had just got him.

"I feel like something bad is going to happen," I whispered and played with his beard, making him smile gently at me.

"Nothing is going to happen," he said, catching my hand with his and kissing my palm, "I promise. You're too sweet for me, Love. Are you sure you picked the right guy?"

"Maybe you're right. Perhaps I should go and get into bed with Juice or Tig."

I gasped slightly when he was suddenly lying over me, careful not to put his full weight on me but just enough to stop me from moving. He was using his bandaged arm to balance himself whereas his right hand was now holding me by the neck. There was no pressure on it but just the feeling of having it there made my heart race and my legs pressed together until he put his knee in between mine. I swallowed but felt myself smile.

"Darling," I murmured to him and played with his hair, something I found out he likes, "you are insatiable."

"Can you blame me? I've wanted you for so long; I've got a lot of catching up to do."

"How long?"

In the dim light of the lamp on his bedside table, I saw him smile. It was a shy smile though, not a smug smirk or a grin. Shy was something he had very rarely been around me before but it was sweet and made me smile too. I continued to run my hands through his hair and massaging his scalp as he let his head fall forwards to hide his shy expression. He lay back down beside me, grumbling when I stopped playing with his hair. I let him rest his head on my bare chest as he softly moved his hand over my side and stomach and I played with his hair, experimenting with putting it in little ponytails. I could feel his breath over my skin; taking me back to that first night again. It was only two days ago but it felt like it had been forever.

"You broke my heart first," he said, his accent becoming thick again, "I'm never gonna forget hearing your scream when your friend died, or seeing you looking just… broken and small when you talked to Jax in the van. 'I was going to be something, I was going to be important and go places. I was going to mean something to someone.' That's what you said to us. They're burned into my memory."

Filip moved his hand away from my body and tapped the side of his head vigorously before he sniffed and I felt his tears on my skin. I could barely believe that it had affected him so much or that he remembered it all so vividly. Knowing that he was crying made me cry too but I made sure that I had concealed it from him; if he knew I was crying he would stop.

"You remember your first night here?" he asked, and I nodded, "you were like a different person, talking about your school and your friends and everything you did. You were so interesting and pretty and really fucking drunk."

I laughed at the memory and his shoulders shook with laughter too. I had been very drunk that night; I drank away my nerves.

"You put your arm on my shoulders and kissed my cheek," Filip continued softly and I knew that if he was interrupted, I would never hear this story again so I kept my words until the end, "it had been so long since someone had been… I don't know. Then you said I looked cute with my glasses on and you blushed and you laughed when I flirted with you. You had me hook line and fucking sinker, Sweet Girl."

"Really?" I asked in shock, he was quiet but nodded, "I thought… I thought you kind of wanted to fuck me after I had that fight with that croweater."

"I did but I loved you way before that. I wanted you. I never wanted you to feel like you were nothing or unimportant and I wanted to make sure you knew that you meant the world to me but I couldn't think of what to say."

I finally sniffed and he sat up immediately to look at me. I laughed at his wet eyes and runny nose. I hadn't ever seen him cry before. He laughed at himself too. I sat up and wiped his cheeks with my hands and his nose with the corner of the blanket. With another quiet laugh, he ducked his head into my shoulder and put his arms around me, just tight enough for me to feel it but not enough to rebreak my ribs. I circled mine around his neck and kissed the top of his head. He needed affection too, I thought, I couldn't just be the only one in this relationship to be allowed to be vulnerable sometimes.

"You were jealous of Nikolai," I said smugly, "I knew it!"

He tightened his grip slightly and sounded quietly angry when he spoke, "I wanted to rip his fucking cock off for touching you. That's why I was so angry. I didn't want you to just be my friend, I wanted you to be my lady but I was too chicken shit to admit it to myself, let alone you."

"Darling…"

I felt him sigh and kiss my skin again.

"That's great and all," Tig shouted from beyond the wall with a couple of thumps for good measure, "but when're ya gonna get fucking?!"

 **So cute –** a bit of a shorter one for you guys tonight but I think it was loaded with things that we needed to hear, primarily Chibby's feelings for Viv. We also saw her parents interacting for the first time.

Also, I've had an idea for a Happy fanfic, I would still write this one, obviously because I am obsessed.

It would be about a "poor little rich girl" called Catherine (Cat) who is the stereotypical daddy's girl. She's never had a boyfriend, she doesn't swear and has been used to everyone doing everything for her. Her family has to move away from LA to Charming after her father was going to follow a new business venture in the town to build new developments on the outskirts of town but the Sons of Anarchy cause them trouble.

She is forced to get a job, or two, somewhere else in town and sell her posh cars and fire her driver and the housekeeper (the horror) but maybe she realises life in Charming isn't as bad as she thinks it would be when she gets close to some of the guys.

what do we think? i'm still writing Sweet Girl but I thought I would give myself a bit of variety since Cat would be completely different to Viv

oh, and she has a dog so…

Let me know what you think about the Happy thing!

See you soon,

Lots of love from Doe

xxxxxxx


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